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Separation is for people who want both marriage and divorce at the same time. They still want some of the benefits of being married to their spouse along with some of the benefits of being divorced at the same time. I see it as lazy, opportunistic, and inconsiderate of their future potential dates feelings. I woudn't date someone who was separated.
I'm debating whether to get a divorce...actually I filed because my husband seemed to want to act like he was single with cheating, seeking other women, lies, deceit. We have been married for 19 years, have been in counseling for 2 years. I told him multiple times and gave ultimatums that I couldn't take his behavior anymore. I served him with papers and he seemed shocked and said he didn't see it coming. He's blaming me for deciding to tear our family apart and wants me to put a hold on the divorce. He is still lying and looking on single sites. I love this man but if he doesn't love me enough to be faithful, what's left to fight for? Opinions please....should I go on with the divorce or try a 6-month separation?
People usually separate when both have too much to lose from a divorce. I've a friend who has been separated for years and none of them has an intention to go ahead with divorce.
If you file for no-contest divorce (meaning you both agree) you usually have to be legally separated for one year.
Then you have to file again to have that separation agreement converted into a divorce agreement. Sometimes that requires renegotiation, sometimes you just submit the request and a judge approves it.
Reasons to delay could include legal expenses, Income tax is ALWAYS less when you are married, Emotional attachment, And I have heard most frequently, that people remain married because of health insurance.
I'm debating whether to get a divorce...actually I filed because my husband seemed to want to act like he was single with cheating, seeking other women, lies, deceit. We have been married for 19 years, have been in counseling for 2 years. I told him multiple times and gave ultimatums that I couldn't take his behavior anymore. I served him with papers and he seemed shocked and said he didn't see it coming. He's blaming me for deciding to tear our family apart and wants me to put a hold on the divorce. He is still lying and looking on single sites. I love this man but if he doesn't love me enough to be faithful, what's left to fight for? Opinions please....should I go on with the divorce or try a 6-month separation?
Continue with the divorce. He certainly isn't going to change if he can't accept responsibility for his actions. Don't get me wrong, there are two sides to every story, but if this is your side, what will 6 months do for you?
Sorry you are going through this. My ex did the same thing.
I see it as lazy, opportunistic, and inconsiderate of their future potential dates feelings.
HAHAHA! Yeah, because that's exactly what people going separating from their spouse should be thinking about.
Reminds me of the time my H got a vasectomy once we were done having kids. At the consultation the urologist tried to tell me I should get my tubes tied instead, in case we divorced later and he wanted to have kids with another woman. He actually seemed shocked by my response to that.
I would just like to have some understanding or illumination on this subject. What is the difference between long-term separation and divorce? I worked with a woman who said she was married, but separated. I figured she had been separated for a year or less, and she said it had been 10 years.
Why would anyone do this?
What are the advantages, if any, to separation?
Usually it's all financial. Or medical insurance, that sort of thing.
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In my state, my wife and I have to be legally separated for one year, she moved out and has a separate residence. After the one year period we can divorce. I am grateful that neither one of us is clingy or dependent on the other. It's been easier to break it off so cleanly.
I would just like to have some understanding or illumination on this subject. What is the difference between long-term separation and divorce? I worked with a woman who said she was married, but separated. I figured she had been separated for a year or less, and she said it had been 10 years.
Why would anyone do this?
What are the advantages, if any, to separation?
I was exposed to this when I did some voluntary tax prep for the poor. One woman said she was married but hadn't seen her husband since 1982. I asked why she never divorced she responded that she never saw the reason why. She wasn't the only person I encountered with that situation although not that extreme. It's amazing what responses you get from a presumably simple question,"Are you married or single?"
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Divorce vs Separation
