Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Redisca, I really can't stand people like that. A friend of mine invited her husband's brother and his wife over for a nice dinner. When the food was nearly done, the wife announced that she really wanted cheese pizza from Papa John's instead and wanted her husband to drive there and get one. Which he did. Which took 40 minutes or so, so dinner--that only my friend and her husband wound up eating--was late and cold. Apparently this woman only eats cheese pizza and linguine with alfredo sauce.
Similar experience. I quit catering to such people a long time ago. When the food is ready, I ask, "You won't mind if we eat it while it's hot?" Then don't allow them the time to respond but say, "Great thanks!" And start eating with lots of loud sighs, and hmmmmms! Everyonce in a while, look up and say, "Are you sure you don't want to try this? It's delicious!"
That said, I don't think all picky eaters are about controlling. Some of them have reasons (legitimate or otherwise) for their habits. There are some things I won't try, just because. If you want to go ahead. It doesn't bother me unless they are doing something like you described. To me the best way to deal with it is to allow them their choices and make my own.
You may care for her, but I would strongly suggest you open your eyes. This girl is no intellectual giant - quite the contrary - and if she is like this about food, beware -- it will extend to other areas. Look for someone else - this will turn into a miserable realtionship.
A case in point: a bunch of co-workers and me went out to lunch one day and one of them brought his girlfriend. Now this girl, despite having lived all her life within a mere 2-hour bus ride from NYC, is almost comically provincial about food. She informed us that she was amenable to eating one of two things: "Mexican" (which, it turned out a minute later, meant Taco Bell) or Subway. Obviously, the five of us, normal people, wouldn't have either. In a situation like that, the way out of the impasse is obvious: you take a vote. But no, not this time. Despite a mind-boggling array of dining choices (this is New York City, after all), she was stuck on either Taco Bell or Subway, and wouldn't budge. And the worst thing about it wasn't that she was a picky eater -- but the fact that she expected FIVE PEOPLE to bend to her will. And when we wouldn't -- because really, there is no reason why one person should bend five others to her will -- she spent the rest of the day sulking and wearing that ridiculous raped look on her face. We ended up going to a fabulous Chinese restaurant, and one of us continually tried to placate her, but to no avail. She wouldn't eat the rice because it's "weird". She wouldn't eat the noodles because they are "slimy". She wouldn't eat the beef because "the texture is all wrong". She wouldn't eat the pork because "it's too red". She wouldn't eat the chicken because "it might be dog meat". She wouldn't eat the shrimp because "I only eat it breaded". Also, "Isn't shrimp supposed to be, like, really tiny? Why are these so big?" She wouldn't eat the soup for a bunch of reasons ranging from being disgusted by egg to being really suspicious of lemon grass. And she wouldn't eat the dessert because "it's too green". And all through that, she was sulking, tearing up from time to time, and looking at us as if we were defiling her.
Again, it's not so much about not eating this or that -- it's about transforming a group event into something that centers on pleasing her, and where the food preferences of five people are ignored in favor of one. I find this behavior typical of fussy eaters. I think it's an attention-seeking ploy, and I personally find it absolutely revolting.
Her behavior had nothing to do with being a picky eater, it had to do with her being a spoiled brat, and it's horribly unfair to say because she's a spolied brat that ALL picky eaters are spoiled brats because it's simply not true.
She was way wrong and I'm glad that no one settled for Taco Bell or Subway. Though I do think that finding an American or Mexican food restaurant would have been a nice compromise. By picking Chinese, you all were just being mean and punative because you thought she was being unreasonable.
True, I do think it comes down to being a spoiled brat, not just a picky eater. Several people have said that they are also picky eaters, just not rude about it. They say "no, thank you" or find something acceptable to eat. It's the rude, self-centered behavior that would get me.
Her behavior had nothing to do with being a picky eater, it had to do with her being a spoiled brat, and it's horribly unfair to say because she's a spolied brat that ALL picky eaters are spoiled brats because it's simply not true.
As I said, in my experience -- perhaps yours is different -- such behavior is typical of picky eaters. Perhaps we are also defining the term "picky eater" differently. I understand a "picky eater" to be someone whose preferences are so particular that meals -- and especially going out -- become a major headache. These people are generally used to having everyone cater to their narrow preferences. Which, if you think about it, becomes an inescapable loop -- if you like everyone catering to you because of your narrow preferences, then you better keep those preferences narrow.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CESpeed
Though I do think that finding an American or Mexican food restaurant would have been a nice compromise.
She rejected that option. She rejected every option offered. She was not open to any kind of compromise. So eventually, we simply decided to go to where we originally wanted to go.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CESpeed
By picking Chinese, you all were just being mean and punative because you thought she was being unreasonable.
I never thought Chinese food was such a pinnacle of otherwordly exoticism. As far as I can see, it's a staple for most Americans. In any event, the chef offered to make her an "American" chicken sandwich. She said she only eats sandwiches at Subway. So who was being punitive?
I still would have gone to an American restaurant, she probably would have been able to find something on that menu. There are a LOT of people who are not picky eaters who don't like Chinese food and yes, part of it is the idea that they eat cats and dogs. You may not see Chinese food as exotic, but I do (yes I eat Chinese food) and so do a lot of people. Again, she was being a spoiled brat but you all could have compromised. I give her credit for staying, I would have left.
I disagree. Food is very very important. Imagine if relationship was to become more serious and they moved in together? How limited his dinners would be? He would die of boredom.
Sorry, but I don't get what you mean? I don't even get the connection between food and boredom but I'll leave it at that. I am also a picky eater (the absolutely-no-sushi, no this, no that type) but my BF isn't starving. Sometimes we eat what we both want to eat, and sometimes each one of us prepares what each one of us want to eat but still sit together, eat, and enjoy nice conversation. See it's really not just about the food we eat, but also the moment we get to share together. It's all about compromising.
I still would have gone to an American restaurant, she probably would have been able to find something on that menu. There are a LOT of people who are not picky eaters who don't like Chinese food and yes, part of it is the idea that they eat cats and dogs. You may not see Chinese food as exotic, but I do (yes I eat Chinese food) and so do a lot of people. Again, she was being a spoiled brat but you all could have compromised. I give her credit for staying, I would have left.
Obviously you didn't read Redisca's post. They DID offer to go to a variety of different restaurants, including American. She ONLY wanted Subway or Taco Bell. So the group then decided to eat where they had originally wanted, since none of them wanted to eat a chain fast food joint.
I am glad that they didn't cave for her. Honestly, where does ONE person make such demands to expect a group of 5 to cater to her? And btw, Chinese food is NOT exotic. Not here in the US, and certaintly not to people that live in NYC. They do NOT eat dogs and cats. If you want exotic Asian food, you can go to the Orient. In the States, everything has been changed to suit the American palate. (And yes, I realize that if you are Asian, and you live in an Asian community, you can find your exotic dishes, just like any ethnic group does in the US, esp. if you live in NYC. But I'm talking about the avg. joe who goes to a Chinese restaurant here.)
I think the most "exotic" food I've eaten in the US is Ethiopian food, but depending on where you live, that can be plentiful too (which makes it not exotic anymore). Still, it's not like we're going into a tropical rainforest and eating grubs. Now THAT'S exotic, and I can understand if you take a pass on that.
Then you should introduce the girl in question to them so that she would see there's more to eating than just taco bell and subway.
And you shouldn't thumb your nose at country bumpkins ...
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
, which explains the state of our love affairs.
