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We LIKE spending time alone by ourselves. We both work similar schedules (8-5, but we have different 'weekends') and when we get home, we usually split up and do our own things, then eat dinner together, then go to bed. I spend a lot of time studying, he spends time working on his car. We were loners before we started dating, and we're loners now, we just happen to live in the same house
Yes and no. I mention my personal decision. In the end I make up mu own mind. I am more asking if any of you lead lives that makes you and your special other apart often? Could you deal with that? Would you get jealous?
No, I wouldn't get jealous. While she is gone I would spend my time doing things I want to do. I got married for companionship, but I could give up 3 hours a night because I have other friends. As long as I knew she was coming home, I could deal with it. My wife spends time now, out to dinner and drinks with the girl friends she used to be around at work. She lost her job a year ago and hasn't been able to find another. It doesn't bother me one bit that she is gone. While she is gone I usually do things around the house that need to be done like mow the lawn, mow the lawn at our rental, etc. I'm into music, so this also gives me time to work with music files, get my iPod up to date. make a few DVD's for one of our vehicles. I also like to go to my reloading room and reload ammo for an up coming event. I have stuff to do other than sit in the living room and visit. I welcome the breaks.
Having outside interests is a healthy thing. Good for both parties in a relationship. After all, I don't want to be his whole life....what if I croak tomorrow? I want him to be able to go on and be healthy and happy. Because I DO love him.
Even though I do have other interests, my SO knows he comes first. Always. He is the most important thing in my life.
What's to say your GF can't curl up and read a book while listening to you practice? Or work on some other project? Your guitar playing will be a happier experience if it is inclusive rather than exclusive.
Having outside interests is a healthy thing. Good for both parties in a relationship. After all, I don't want to be his whole life....what if I croak tomorrow? I want him to be able to go on and be healthy and happy. Because I DO love him.
Even though I do have other interests, my SO knows he comes first. Always. He is the most important thing in my life.
What's to say your GF can't curl up and read a book while listening to you practice? Or work on some other project? Your guitar playing will be a happier experience if it is inclusive rather than exclusive.
Nope, it doesn't sound like that would work for OP.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lionking
.....she *thought* we were working toward being boyfriend and girlfriend.
So once again I just said it again, no I have no place for that with anybody.
.........................
My passion, guitar is not something I can share with a special other. It requires alone time to practice, to go over and over and over songs, parts of songs, scales, studying. I can't do that with distractions.
If you are talking about relationships vs. hobbies and other interests there is almost always a balance to be found. It won't look the same in every relationship but it's crucial to achieve. For us, we have other interests but we don't put them before our relationship. We've also developed some joint interests but I ALWAYS like to know that DH wants to spend time with me although I know he enjoys doing his own thing sometimes. I don't want to be thought of as a 'distraction' ever and nor do I think of him that way ever.
Is that a serious question? It's pretty self explanitory.
Because it pays the bills and is a necessary evil.
This is the way I look at it - break it down:
LK is saying "see you in 3 or 4 hours." This is assuming that he comes home from work after an 8 hour day (add in lunch and commute, make it almost 9.5-10 hours). Maybe he gets home around 5:30, give or take.
If he doesn't stop to catch up with his SO and he disappears for 3-4 hours, that puts his reappearance around the time of 9pm, again, give or take. So what kind of time does that leave for a relationship?
I certainly agree that couples need time apart, but 3-4 hours a day on top of work time and other stuff - it just doesn't add up to a healthy, commited relationship.
There is absolutely no way I would be in a relationship with someone who had no time for me. That is not a relationship; that is a booty call or FWB at best.
I want more than two minutes if the person means anything to me. If you are putting in that kind of time while you are trying to get started, you'll disappear if you make it. Even recording artists take time out for their SOs/families.
If you ever get into a relationship that is important to you, you will make time for it, until then, be prepared to be alone.
Unless you want a woman who's strictly in it for the money. They don't care how much you are gone. In fact, the longer, the better.
Is that a serious question? It's pretty self explanitory.
Because it pays the bills and is a necessary evil.
This is the way I look at it - break it down:
LK is saying "see you in 3 or 4 hours." This is assuming that he comes home from work after an 8 hour day (add in lunch and commute, make it almost 9.5-10 hours). Maybe he gets home around 5:30, give or take.
If he doesn't stop to catch up with his SO and he disappears for 3-4 hours, that puts his reappearance around the time of 9pm, again, give or take. So what kind of time does that leave for a relationship?
I certainly agree that couples need time apart, but 3-4 hours a day on top of work time and other stuff - it just doesn't add up to a healthy, commited relationship.
I get home around 6:30pm or 7pm. Wind down for a half hour, start playing until 10pm to 12am depending, sometimes loafing on the internet or watching a movie inbetween or before I go to bed, or do a quickie before bed.
The only way to get better not to mention not forget, is to put hours of time into it. At least for me. Look into the history of any player that is or was good, and you'll see they did the time also. While Eddie Van Halen's brother the drummer was out partying getting laid, Eddie sat in his room night after night practicing. Of course I am no where near in the league of him but I keep trying. Although Eddie Van Halen never held a day job either.
There are days I don't play and go out, mostly a weekend. And sometimes I want to hang with a girl instead, but mostly it is what it is.
I don't know, I lived with a guy who couldn't tie his shoes without putting them on me or go buy underwear without me...he couldn't do a thing without me right there and it was smothering.
Since that is your choice why not go to professional girls and let the others alone. I'm sure the pros can make you feel you are the only one for a few hours. BTW I'm not snarking. I think for some dudes, that's a good comprimise.
her~ring ring "hello?"
LK~ "hey its LK, what's up how have you been?"
her~ "ok blah blah blah, how about you?"
LK~ "great! , I'm doing great, you know work, do stuff around the house sometimes, play guitat mostly. Been learning White Lion's version of Radar Love, slowly I'm getting the solo down note for note, I work on it a hour a day for the last two weeks"
her~ "cool"
LK~ "hey, I am going to see a band at a place tonight, they have awesome buffalo wings, we can hang and eat and drink and shoot pool, maybe stay the night at my place tehehe?"
her~ "yeah ok, normally it is $200 a hour but how about $100 a hour?"
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Hi honey I'm home, ok see you in 3...
It's pretty self explanitory.
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Hmmmm..I think I would begin to grow jealous, especially if he tunes me out, and would rather be alone to his own thing. 
