Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I think society tries to oversimplify human sexuality and stick us in boxes to which we should conform. I disagree with your statement that behaviour determines ones sexuality, orientation is a matter of attraction. A straight or gay person doesn't cease to be a straight or gay person if they are not in a sexual relationship at that particular time. Likewise a bi person doesn't cease to be bi because they are in an exclusive relationship with one gender. I've had irritating comments in the past along the lines of 'oh so you're straight now' simply because I was dating a girl. I am bi and always will be.
I understand, but I can agree to disagree here...remember my outlook is based on the absolute that we can only BE what we presently are...we cant be what we "Will" be, nor what we "have" been...and for me, behavior determines what a person is being. But its all about what works best for the individual..so my outlook just works best for me.
I don't view bi women in the same way as bi men. A bisexual woman almost always (ok the ones I know) are willing to have loving relationships with both sexes. To me, that's the "real" kind of bisexual and I fully support it. Bi men, on the oher hand, always seem to think "every hole is a goal" so Their bisexualiy is based purely on sex. That's what I find off putting, to base your personal identity on your orgasm delivery system. I have a male bi friend who actively and romantically dates either sex, and I support that.
Most bi women are more attracted to one sex than the other though, they tend to settle down with their preferred gender. Also they often have open relationships.
I have dated guys, in fact it's rare I sleep around but i've not met a guy who's serious relationship material. Most guys are happy to have something casual for those times they're alone. To try and claim there's no emotional attachment in these relationships though is wrong, i'm still very close friends with the last guy I was seeing.
If I could edit I would, but instead I'll sum up in the hopes I explain myself better:
heterosexuals: "I like to shag the opposite sex, and I can love he opposite sex."
Homosexuals: "I like to shag the same sex, and I can fall in live with the same sex."
Bisexual women (not the trendy types!): "I like to shag both sexes and I can fall in love with both sexes."
Bisexual men: "I like to shag it all, but I can only fall in love with x"
now that I have typed this out, I think perhaps this is simply due to the nature of men being more able to seperate sex from romance. I don't know. But to my female mind, bi men sexually "use," typically the male gender.
Most bi women are more attracted to one sex than the other though, they tend to settle down with their preferred gender. Also they often have open relationships.
I have dated guys, in fact it's rare I sleep around but i've not met a guy who's serious relationship material. Most guys are happy to have something casual for those times they're alone. To try and claim there's no emotional attachment in these relationships though is wrong, i'm still very close friends with the last guy I was seeing.
Open relationships occurs across the board so let's not count that.
I never said you don't have any emotional attachment, but I note this is the first time you've said you "date" men. Up until now, you've made it clear it's only about sex. You said before that you will never be in a romantic relationship with a man, and only now you are saying because you just haven't met the right one... I'm not trying to play "gotcha" with you, only trying to explain why my perspective is what it is.
I'm sure there are a lot of closeted bisexual men that would love to at least have some basic fore-play with another attractive man. How could you not be attracted to your own gender?
If I could edit I would, but instead I'll sum up in the hopes I explain myself better:
heterosexuals: "I like to shag the opposite sex, and I can love he opposite sex."
Homosexuals: "I like to shag the same sex, and I can fall in live with the same sex."
Bisexual women (not the trendy types!): "I like to shag both sexes and I can fall in love with both sexes."
Bisexual men: "I like to shag it all, but I can only fall in love with x"
now that I have typed this out, I think perhaps this is simply due to the nature of men being more able to seperate sex from romance. I don't know. But to my female mind, bi men sexually "use," typically the male gender.
I understand you completely. It's down to men being more visual than women- a man falls in love because of the mixture of physical and emotional attraction, whereas for women attraction is more emotional. Personally I find women more physically attractive than men, so the spark is stronger with girls.
btw most out bi guys are more towards the gay side, and tend to settle down with guys.
Open relationships occurs across the board so let's not count that.
I never said you don't have any emotional attachment, but I note this is the first time you've said you "date" men. Up until now, you've made it clear it's only about sex. You said before that you will never be in a romantic relationship with a man, and only now you are saying because you just haven't met the right one... I'm not trying to play "gotcha" with you, only trying to explain why my perspective is what it is.
Well yes I date men, but casually. For me its not just about sex and I never said it was. However I couldn't see myself falling completely in love with a guy (hence no romantic relationship). I could be wrong, but even the best looking guys are only comparable to the girls that I find attractive but don't make me go weak at the knees. Its a matter of being content I think, and so wrapped up in the person I don't want anyone else. I've not found that with a guy.
Last edited by archineer; 05-24-2010 at 05:07 PM..
I'm sure there are a lot of closeted bisexual men that would love to at least have some basic fore-play with another attractive man. How could you not be attracted to your own gender?
Because I think my body is unappealing, it doesn't have any of the soft curves that women's bodies have.
I'm sure there are a lot of closeted bisexual men that would love to at least have some basic fore-play with another attractive man. How could you not be attracted to your own gender?
What an astute question for someone to FINALLY ask...you cant truly dislike your own gender in its entirety unless you dislike yourself to an extent. This is precisely why I say that I believe that everyone is subconsciously bisexual to a degree. It doesnt make sense for a person who truly loves themselves to be absolutely and rigidly repulsed by their own gender which is part and partial of themselves. That is a conflict of interests, that when taken to the terminal degree would result in mass suicide...
Maybe you should lose some weight, lift weights, and get some cosmetic surgery. There are very attractive men with very soft curves. Just take a look around next time you are at a gay pride parade.
Quote:
Originally Posted by TKramar
Because I think my body is unappealing, it doesn't have any of the soft curves that women's bodies have.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
