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Oh sure I have heard it all. But then, their perspective is not the same as people my age, in their mid 50's. Standards of morality and manners have been rewritten and revised daily, as whim and social philosophy ride impulsive currents. So they don't care if such things are viewed as improper by us. Right now, the world is only about them.
That's pretty much it.
People who came of age by the early 80's or have been born since, are living in a society and a culture that is radically different from the one I grew up in. Using f*ck as a comma in spoken speech is the least of it.
To put all of this in perspective and in all candor I am not a fan of swearing. However there are times and circumstances. That being said may I encourage people to at some point either use Hulu or watch Jimmy Kimmel live and see the segment he does on unnecessary censorship.
Unless they were speaking very, very loud for the entire restaurant to hear them, MYOB. Eavesdropping? I don't like other people doing it to me, so I won't do it to others. Cursing? I could be saying the Lord's Prayer and still wouldn't want some stranger listening to me.
It doesn't matter what they saying. Just don't listen to others private conservations. Just how I personally feel.
They were speaking loudly. Knew I could hear and didn't care.
I have found a direct correlation between (my opinion) trustworthiness, integrity, and responsibility vs. excessive swearing.
I find people who don't swear tend to go further in life are more trustworthy, have more integrity and own up to mistakes and don't blame others for thier short-commings.
I find people who swear are deeply unhappy, they may give off a persona that makes you think they are funny or sanguine, but in reallity they are in a constant state of chaos mentally. I also find them to be loose cannons and borderline bi-polar.
I think excessive swearing is a way to make an uninteresting conversation seem interesting. When I hear excessive swearing the most, it's during an uninteresting story about nothing. The swearing serves as filler like in a comedy routine. Swearing turns a boring begnin story with no real value into a comedy routine.
So people hear boring yada yada f^%&ing yada blah blah f%$%ing blah and it keeps the other persons interest momentarily.
I also find that swearing is a crutch for people with lacking vocabulary. um becomes the f word.
There was a you tube video of people talking at a party and then they played it back to them and they were all disturbed by how unintelligent they sounded. Similar to videos of people drunk being played back to them when they are sober....
For the record I work with men mostly in their 50s and 60s and their language is very similar. I was at a restaurant next to a couple of 30 somethings and they were carrying on loudly about really taboo disgusting things, I mean really disguting things. Having been in the military I did not think I could be digusted but I really was. I had to confront them. 2 guys in the group got belligerent and said, "Your kids are going to hear this stuff eventually" (I hate that excuse), 2 guys apologized and admited they didn't really approve of the conversation in public."
I also find birds of a feather flock together. It usually goes off of peer pressure to say the most shocking thing to one up eachother. One guy will say something pro haulocaust and the next guy has to say something racist then next guy chimes in with something about abortion and then the next guy talks about sodomizing jesus and raping the virgin mary... And you just have to shake your head and wonder how we've fallen this far.
I eat lunch at my desk so I dont have to hear the conversations in the lunchroom. Its incredible what people will talk about these days. The bathroom is next to the lunchroom and we had a female represenative from a customer come and on her way to restroom she walked in on a conversation she did not like came back and said she'd be taking her business elsewhere. The bosses reaction was not "hey lets tell those idiots to tone down their unprofessional talk" It was next time ill brief you guys in the morning what time we might have a feminazi in the building." I work in a company of supposed christians.
If you don't play along with the little one up who can say the nastiest crap or tell the most disgusting ( and likely untrue) story game, you are seen as a prude and a person they don't identify with. .... which I am fine with.
Most of them are divorced miserable, self-centered-gun nuts with kids that don't want to see them, the majority are also alcoholics. There are five older guys in our shop about 48-62 that have multiple DUIs and aren't supposed to drive but do, and they talk about it like about like it's the laws fault that they are in their situation. Not man maybe I shouldn't drink and drive, I should just spend a little extra money to get home safe. No, it's well I drink and drive all the time safely, I dont need some nanny state impeding my freedom, let me decide if im good to drive or not. One actually hit a pedestrian, and guy from the shop across from ours was in a high profile hit and run because of a child recently after being baked out of his mind.
I get nervous when one of them gets fired. A company a mile away from ours had a guy come back and shoot his supervisor and then himself after he was fired. He had previous run ins with the law. Giving people second chances is a big risk.
This is not a generational thing, a political thing or an income thing, it's a systematic problem in american culture that will get much much worse. One of my favorite movies is Idiocracy from Mike Judge. It seems far fetched to some, but I think we are already there. I found a disturbing statistic the other day.
On this computer something is broken and I dont have auto spell checking, or any spell checking for that matter. So there will be some obvious spelling errors. I like it though it gives me a chance to see how well I type with out any correction tools.
Last edited by AndyAMG; 11-14-2014 at 01:23 PM..
Reason: i have no auto spell checking
Cursing in public? Heaven forbid, as my Mom used to say.
I still remember hearing my Mom say "damn" for the very first time.
Shocked me speechless.
I was a whiny 9 year old. I wanted to wear this dress, not that dress, to my big brother's wedding. I fussed and whined, and she finally just said, "Oh, wear the damn thing!". I think my jaw dropped to my chin like a cartoon character.
But I put on my favorite dress and went to the wedding with a very silent mother and disapproving father. I remember being sent to sit in the car halfway through the reception because I was crabby with my cousins.
Found out the next day the reason I was so fussy.
I was coming down with chicken pox.
Last edited by Gandalara; 11-14-2014 at 02:21 PM..
Why though? My nephew, who I treasure, is disrespectful to his father but wouldn't think to pull that with me. Why? I think it's because I treat him respectfully and he does the same to me. My son, on the other hand, acted like I owed him since I gave him birth. I don't know. I tried to be the best mom I could and it turned out that I'm a great Aunt but not a good mom. Beats me.
As for the people talking grossly in a restaurant, ask to be moved and make sure the manager knows why. I've done it a few times and the owner/manager appreciated knowing about it. Let's face it, us elders usually have more money and that's respected in the restaurant business. Who would they rather have - people who will come back if they have a good time or customers who ensure the people will not come back.
We were forced to be respectful but we are not treating the children the way we were. If they learn there are consequences, they may decide to act like human beings when they are around others and leave the gross behavior for the hunting shack or its equivalent.
No only some swear especially in public. Pretty much alot the names is what people think when they hear them. Good manners never change.
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