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A good friend recently told me she doesn't think I'll ever be settled with the decision to retire. I have 330 days (yes I'm keeping count) to go until I'm eligible for federal retirement benefits. She said I'll have to take a leap of faith and see where I land and trust that I'll be OK. I have less than a year and honestly have many reasons why I want to stop working ASAP, but I have started rationalizing why I might keep working indefinitely. Like everyone else, I've evolved over the years and am just tired of getting up at the crack of dawn, commuting, dealing with regulations, playing the work games with people, and the smallest things get under my skin. I've wondered why I'm feeling this contradiction of disliking work, disliking people and want to have fun and be a little more carefree, and at the same time starting to make excuses why I may want to to keep working (stay active, brain stimulation, the money, etc). I've had some health problems recently and have realized anything could happen at any time, we just don't know. So is this the norm for why people want to retire? Just sick of everything about work? My friend retired 10 years a go from teaching and has managed to stay busy, has a nice circle of friends, etc., but my social network was always been work because that's where I have spent 60-70 hours a week for 35 years. And I'm not keen on downsizing and leaving our home, the thought of a retirement village and all the people that go with it makes me cringe, it will kill me to leave here, the privacy, the nature and the fact that we've spent 25 years remodeling this house and it's in great shape. We live rural which to me feels simpler and safer for my taste. Do I need to just take a leap of faith or consider working until I'm sure I'm done. I know no one can make the decision for me. I've been a professional and don't want to spend thousands a year on dues, licensure, continuing education, etc., to keep my license active, so once I lay down the gauntlet, there won't be any turning back. Any thoughts would be appreciated.
You make it sound like moving out of your current home is a mandatory part of retirement from work. Why would you have to move?
Have you considered that part of your resistance to leaving a work obligation you no longer enjoy and retiring might be some kind of signifier of getting old? Not saying that applies to you, but just crossed my mind.
First, if you love your home so much, why think about moving -- at least right now? We are moving from suburbia to a rural home, and that is our retirement dream.
However, as far as just taking a leap of faith about retiring, I am wondering (asking) if retirement for some people might be like considering when is the best time to start a family. (?) I have been told that if people think too much about when the right time is to become pregnant or adopt, they will die childless!
So, I will be looking forward to all the replies your post receives!
A good friend recently told me she doesn't think I'll ever be settled with the decision to retire. I have 330 days (yes I'm keeping count) to go until I'm eligible for federal retirement benefits. She said I'll have to take a leap of faith and see where I land and trust that I'll be OK. I have less than a year and honestly have many reasons why I want to stop working ASAP, but I have started rationalizing why I might keep working indefinitely. Like everyone else, I've evolved over the years and am just tired of getting up at the crack of dawn, commuting, dealing with regulations, playing the work games with people, and the smallest things get under my skin. I've wondered why I'm feeling this contradiction of disliking work, disliking people and want to have fun and be a little more carefree, and at the same time starting to make excuses why I may want to to keep working (stay active, brain stimulation, the money, etc). I've had some health problems recently and have realized anything could happen at any time, we just don't know. So is this the norm for why people want to retire? Just sick of everything about work? My friend retired 10 years a go from teaching and has managed to stay busy, has a nice circle of friends, etc., but my social network was always been work because that's where I have spent 60-70 hours a week for 35 years. And I'm not keen on downsizing and leaving our home, the thought of a retirement village and all the people that go with it makes me cringe, it will kill me to leave here, the privacy, the nature and the fact that we've spent 25 years remodeling this house and it's in great shape. We live rural which to me feels simpler and safer for my taste. Do I need to just take a leap of faith or consider working until I'm sure I'm done. I know no one can make the decision for me. I've been a professional and don't want to spend thousands a year on dues, licensure, continuing education, etc., to keep my license active, so once I lay down the gauntlet, there won't be any turning back. Any thoughts would be appreciated.
If you can afford to retire you should do it since it sounds like you are ready. Who knows, your health could improve with less stress and etc...
If you can afford to stay in your home you should stay if you are happy there. Enjoy life, it's short!
Welcome to The Club. Pre-retirement time is scary. And married or single/divorced, retirement is never what it is cracked up to be. If one can afford to travel, even that becomes boring, sooner or later. Even if you have a great relationship with your adult children and grandchildren (many of us don't), they won't want you in their lives/homes 24/7.
I can 'one up' you. I worked with the same group of people (about 500 fairly intimately) for almost 30 years -- we loved each other, and we were really family. And I loved my job. NOT every minute of every single day, but most of the time. My job (county government) was VERY stressful -- all of our jobs were very stressful -- we worked in a major court system and courthouse. However, in my middle-50s, I just started to burn out. Then in my late 50s, I received a financial windfall, and altho' I had to work another year, I retired. And I moved -- and I moved out of state -- my home of 57 years -- BIG MISTAKE.
The first few years of retirement was traumatic for me. This workplace and coworkers -- this had been my 'home away from home' -- my family -- for almost three decades. I enjoyed the first six months of retirement -- it was like a long vacation -- and then one morning I woke up and went, "WTF??!! And I cried every day for the next 18 months. I sought professional help (I did not take any Rx meds) -- and I still cried every day.
For three years, after retirement, I went back to work FT and PT -- various places -- even another courthouse (in another state) -- until it dawned on me that what I really wanted my old job and my old work family.
It took me about 6-7 years to settle into retirement (sorry I don't want to scare you -- since you no longer like what you're doing, you'll probably adjust much sooner after you retire). Now I spend my days exercising, volunteering, reading, and for the past few years I've been working on a project that is finally get some notice and assistance from those in higher places that get set this in action. I don't tend to watch much TV -- I haven't had a TV in over 20 years -- but I sure belong to enough streaming web sites like Netflix, Hulu, etc. :-) (Oh -- as for traveling, I was fortunate enough to do a lot of traveling in my 20s and 30s. I have no desire to travel now.)
While you may not believe it, this is important: If you're an extrovert, you may have a harder time in retirement, because, unless you do something deliberately about it (like attend a church?), your social circle and connections will diminish, more and more, over time. I'm not anti-social at all, but I'm an introvert -- I can go for a week without talking to anyone else -- I don't need a lot of contact with others (although it's nice when it happens -- as I said, I'm not a hermit or anti-social) -- and so I think retirement is easier on introverts. But, still, the first few years were pretty rough for me. And I'm not sure they would have been any easier if I had been married.
I just reread what I wrote. Pretty scary, isn't it. Sorry. And, yeah, it brought back a lot of memories for me. But most people have a rough time adjusting to retirement (whether or not they liked their former jobs). They're just not usually very honest about how they are really feeling. :-)
One really bright spot -- and it helped me a lot: if we have more than enough money -- if we have enough money to play and enough money to not have to worry about finances -- retirement is A LOT easier than if we're poor. I gather you're financially set. So retire. Or keep working. But know that there will never come a time when it's just SO EASY to retire. You're going to have some 'angst' about it, even for a while after you do retire.
Welcome to The Club. Pre-retirement time is scary. And married or single/divorced, retirement is never what it is cracked up to be.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fran66
Pretty scary, isn't it. Sorry. But most people have a rough time adjusting to retirement (whether or not they liked their former jobs). They're just not usually very honest about how they are really feeling. :-)
I strongly disagree. I could not disagree more. I encourage the OP to retire and enjoy life.
(and stay in the home you like very much, if possible)
Be careful of what they call on another Board I'm on the OMY ("One More Year") syndrome- postponing retirement by continuously adding another year as you reach your deadline. Life is short and there are no guarantees.
I walked out of my job one week after deciding I was fed up. That was 5 years ago. I was 61 and had planned to wait till 65 but had run the numbers plenty of times. Like Fran66, I'm an introvert so I don't need to have people around me 24/7- in fact, it would drive me crazy. I lost my dear husband in late 2016 but the good news was that I was there for him when he needed more caregiving in his last days. We downsized a year after I retired, but took our time, and it was a good decision. I love this house. I'm not tired of travel yet and my grandchildren, who live 3 hours away, are a great joy. I have plenty of volunteer activities but nothing that has taken over my life.
I strongly disagree. I could not disagree more. I encourage the OP to retire and enjoy life.
(and stay in the home you like very much, if possible)
I couldn't agree more with you Matisse. I don't think Fran's experience is typical at all. It sounds like Fran wasn't as mentally/emotionally prepared to retire as she thought she was.
OP - all the positive things you're getting at work can be had by taking up new hobbies that you've always wanted to try but not had the time, by joining meetup groups of people with similar interests, by volunteering and sharing your knowledge and experience at various places. Or, just relaxing and enjoying the freedom that you'll have to do any damn thing you want. Start thinking now about how you want to spend your time, and what you really love to do. As long as you're prepared emotionally/mentally, you'll be able to handle the changes that come from no longer having to be on somebody else's schedule.
Also, if you have your finances in order, there is no reason you have to move from a home you love.
You don't have to sell your home and move into a retirement village.
Who told you that ? Why are you even thinking that ?
Retirement is when you can do what you want, where you want, when you want.
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