Elder Orphans: Aging without Support (gift, music, loving, New Jersey)
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I wasn't looking for a solution to the "problem" of my friends going out all the time and spending tons of money on entertainment. It's not a problem. They're free to do that, and I'm free (and can actually afford) to either go along or not. I usually choose not to simply because I'm not into throwing my money away just to have something to do. If I had even more money, I STILL wouldn't choose to spend it this way... My priority is a place on the beach. A lot of these ladies plan to die right where they are, so I suppose why NOT spend it all? I was simply OBSERVING that friendship these days seems to involve spending a lot of money when it wasn't always this way in the course of history -- or in my experience.
I wasn't looking for a solution to the "problem" of my friends going out all the time and spending tons of money on entertainment. It's not a problem. They're free to do that, and I'm free (and can actually afford) to either go along or not. I usually choose not to simply because I'm not into throwing my money away just to have something to do. If I had even more money, I STILL wouldn't choose to spend it this way. My priority is a place on the beach. A lot of these ladies plan to die right where they are, so I suppose why NOT spend it all? I was simply OBSERVING that friendship these days seems to involve spending a lot of money when it wasn't always this way in the course of history - at least in my experience.
O.k. gotcha. I think the difference is that your friends see going out and spending their money on fun things as the point of having saved money for retirement. Whereas, you prefer to be a little less free and loose with the spending. There are plenty of enjoyable things that you can do for free. I agree with you on that. At the same time, I can see why your friends are choosing to spend money at restaurants and entertainment.
I can't think of any time in life that friendship did not require money. From high school to college to young adult to middle age to now, money was needed.
What person of any age after a hard week at work or whatever wants to spend their day off walking around a lake or having a picnic. Life isn't a dress rehearsal. It's meant to be lived!
The suggestion was to get a part-time job so financially a poster would feel like spending money. The suggestion of a part-time job was not for all these other reasons now being posted.
And volunteering is often much different from holding a job.
Well then stay home and complain that your friends went out again without you. That's the alternative. I mentioned another reason retirees get a part time job because it gives them something besides money. Getting a part time job as a retiree isn't a bad thing like you're making it out to be.
I think these are Meet-Up type groups or similar to which the poster is referring. The poster has said many times recently that she has no friends in her small town, and that she has driven (in the past more than recently) to a larger town a good number of miles away for Meet-Up group activities like hiking, and that now a good number of these people attending the groups are doing paid activities such as restaurants and wineries and paid events.
The poster said in another thread that new younger people are joining the hiking group - and the new younger joiners do not know the trails, but try to impose their opinions or will about the trails on older participants who have experienced the trails.
Also, the poster has not said at all that she ”Well then stay home and complain that your friends went out again without you.”. Just the opposite.
Last edited by matisse12; 06-17-2022 at 04:17 PM..
I think these are Meet-Up groups to which the poster is referring. The poster has said many times recently that she has no friends in her small Kentucky town, and that she has driven (in the past more than recently) to a larger town a good number of miles away for Meet-Up group activities like hiking, and that now a good number of these people attending the groups are doing paid activities such as restaurants and wineries and paid events.
Also, the poster has not said at all that she ”Well then stay home and complain that your friends went out again without you.”. Just the opposite.
Actually, no... These aren't Meetup groups. These are, as I said earlier, people I've known for many years who all used to hike together. BEFORE there were Meetup groups. I also never said I live in Kentucky; as you can see, I chose not to disclose my location. But glad to see you haven't lost your touch!
I can't think of any time in life that friendship did not require money. From high school to college to young adult to middle age to now, money was needed.
What person of any age after a hard week at work or whatever wants to spend their day off walking around a lake or having a picnic.
Could not disagree more on most of above.
Ever hear of Minneapolis which has four lakes right in the middle of the very urban city which are lush with trees and beauty. 1000's of working people and retired people walk on the pretty paths surrounding the lakes on weeknights after work and all weekend. It's a major activity. (or ever hear of Seattle? or towns on the ocean?)
and having picnics can be great.
I'm very in favor of the arts and experiencing the arts, by the way. And I've lived for the arts for decades.
Last edited by matisse12; 06-17-2022 at 04:32 PM..
Actually, no... These aren't Meetup groups. These are, as I said earlier, people I've known for many years who all used to hike together. BEFORE there were Meetup groups. I also never said I live in Kentucky; as you can see, I chose not to disclose my location. But glad to see you haven't lost your touch!
I would do what I could to maintain the friendships. If that means going out only once or twice a week while the rest of them go out every day, then so be it. But keeping that circle of longtime friends should be a priority for you. I can see why you don't want to be a spendthrift but being a tightwad isn't such a good thing, either. I'd look for a middle ground.
I do join them now and then. Jeez, I was just piggybacking on the other poster's comment about "gallivanting." Maybe we should analyze THAT post
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