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Old 01-14-2018, 06:36 PM
 
1,049 posts, read 487,467 times
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This is an interesting thread and thank you for all the posts.
My mom is single and lives alone in house I grew up in. She definitely loves her solitude, but her mobility is declining. She can still walk, drive and get around, but who knows what the future holds. She's 79 next month. We have visited a couple of assisted living places and the cost is just insane. Our plan is to, as others have said, get home care when she will need help with basic errands.

Last edited by FREE866; 01-14-2018 at 06:37 PM.. Reason: typo
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Old 01-14-2018, 11:50 PM
 
5,432 posts, read 3,464,353 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FREE866 View Post

Our plan is to, as others have said, get home care when she will need help with basic errands.
In this thread, I see errands being equated with home care a number of times. Errands are, of course, very different from home care where one needs help bathing, dressing, preparing food, cleaning the dwelling, being helped to bed, etc.
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Old 01-15-2018, 12:30 AM
 
Location: We_tside PNW (Columbia Gorge) / CO / SA TX / Thailand
22,694 posts, read 40,062,283 times
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In home care.....realistic?

My mom (age 90 does this) in-home care (private person, non-family)
I did it for my disabled dad (for 30+ yrs)
My inlaws plan to do it .
(3) neighbors have done it. (or are doing it)
We assist neighbors to do this, and to equip their homes to be able to support in-home care.

All of our houses have multiple living spaces for this (and other) purposes. (cabins and DETACHED apartments preferred for privacy)+ RV sites If future caregiver prefers.

There are +/- so do have a plan B...
I personally hope to have a senior community built by the time I need it. A USDA survey of senior housing co-ops found seniors live 10 yrs longer independently when living in 'community' (i.e. caring for each other) vs solo. YMMV
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Old 01-15-2018, 04:05 AM
 
3,531 posts, read 1,784,430 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nov3 View Post
My Great-Aunt chose this route. Best thing for her too! Her 24 hour CareGiver was a blessing.
And yes the Lady resided there and received a small weekly pay.. $100, to cover her personal needs.

PLease understand that there AREsome goodhearted health aides willing to respect the seniors and their property.

I worked in an ALF, it was a MoneyGrinder...Constantly finding ways to financially cripple the elders. Til one day they would be placed into a County run home which was filled with negligence.


My state currently has a program to assist persons of your means to seek home care. Seems that Elders fair better in their own home . It cost more for the state to subsidize an elder in a facility. So they consider it a win win to keep a person at home with a more personal care environment. I'd recommend at the very least checking with your state of residency to see if they have such programs in place.

Good Health and Best wishes for your goal. I personally Hope to go this route when the time comes....
$100/wk for 24 hour care is slave labor and she should have been ashamed to do that to anyone.
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Old 01-15-2018, 06:53 AM
 
10,604 posts, read 14,232,720 times
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Originally Posted by FREE866 View Post
This is an interesting thread and thank you for all the posts.
My mom is single and lives alone in house I grew up in. She definitely loves her solitude, but her mobility is declining. She can still walk, drive and get around, but who knows what the future holds. She's 79 next month. We have visited a couple of assisted living places and the cost is just insane. Our plan is to, as others have said, get home care when she will need help with basic errands.
Why can't she live with you?
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Old 01-15-2018, 07:06 AM
 
Location: Coastal Georgia
37,186 posts, read 45,735,086 times
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I think in home care works best when one partner needs more care than the spouse can provide, but the well spouse can still monitor the care.

If I had a widowed parent who needed in home care, I would be more comfortable with them in an assisted living environment, assuming I didnít live close enough to monitor their wellbeing myself.
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Old 01-15-2018, 07:08 AM
 
6,351 posts, read 5,085,406 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by matisse12 View Post
In this thread, I see errands being equated with home care a number of times. Errands are, of course, very different from home care where one needs help bathing, dressing, preparing food, cleaning the dwelling, being helped to bed, etc.
good point. I'm mobile and my errand running would take me out of the house once a week.
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Old 01-15-2018, 07:09 AM
 
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Reminder, not everyone can afford assisted living and a person must be just about totally independent to get into the lowest level. Otherwise the person will still need a personal care assistance in the assisted living facility anyway.

If the person is not able to live independently they have to be bumped up to the personal care level. It's not the same as "assisted living".
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Old 01-15-2018, 07:22 AM
 
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My mom lived in a big ranch on a big lot with maybe 300 feet of frontage on a pond. Very low density suburban where the nearest anything was 10 minutes and real services were 20 to 30 minutes. It had a full in-law apartment in the basement with walkout to the back yard and pond. The fuzzy thinking was that they could hire live-in help. That was never going to happen. They both got dementia and my stepfather wouldn’t allow anyone into the house. My sister and I paid for a weekly housekeeper and a 2x per week Pilates instructor to provide services for my mother who were usually allowed in. He did us all a favor and had his health event and died in a nursing home a month later. I did the math and moved my mother to assisted living. She wasn’t safe by herself. 24x7 coverage in a big house that cost a lot to run in the middle of nowhere wasn’t going to work. 24x7 for 52 weeks at $20/hour is $175k. Maybe it’s less in flyover country but it’s still cheaper to use assisted living once you have to outsource operating a house, food, and the rest.
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Old 01-15-2018, 07:29 AM
 
1,049 posts, read 487,467 times
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Originally Posted by runswithscissors View Post
Why can't she live with you?
Because my girlfriend and I live in a 1 bedroom apartment in NYC....wouldn't work
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