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Old 11-16-2018, 09:17 AM
Status: "Loving life, wife and job!" (set 7 days ago)
 
Location: USA
996 posts, read 382,712 times
Reputation: 2664

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Quote:
Originally Posted by volosong View Post
Very sad to report that I spent the first 66 years of my life living withing 150 of where I was born, (and where my dad was born). Traveled the world and the western states extensively. Two Navy deployments. International and domestic short-term work assignments. But home has always been Southern California.

Now, upon retirement, I moved about 1,250 miles distant. From a land of two seasons, (i.e., a warm/hot, dry summer and a not-so-warm/hot, sometimes wet summer), to a land with four true seasons . . . and snow! What a switch, and I love it!

There is no going back. Primarily due to the cost-of-living, and the cost to get re-established.
I wouldn't call that sad - you got to travel the world and are happy where you are. Win/win - great job.

I only did four years in the service and spent all of them in Texas and Alabama. I'd call that sad except for the fact that I really enjoyed myself in both locations. Well, except for basic training in Texas in the middle of summer. lol
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Old 11-16-2018, 09:26 AM
 
Location: Florida -
8,763 posts, read 10,834,959 times
Reputation: 16632
I wonder if a desire to "move back home where one grew up" isn't stronger in those who have very fond memories of their childhood and family/home(?).

My wife, for example, has always had an interest in living near her small hometown, even though there is no longer any family or friends there. When she gets together with friends (from 50+ years ago, they still chatter on about their childhood years.

OTOH, I had a very dysfunctional childhood and moved as far away from where I grew-up 50-years ago and never looked back -- or had any interest in moving back. I've still got a sister and her family there and visit occasionally, but, would never consider moving back. Yet, I'm very much a 'homebody.'
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Old 11-16-2018, 09:27 AM
 
Location: Tucson Arizona
3,878 posts, read 1,648,337 times
Reputation: 10164
I spent my work life about 90 miles from where I grew up in California, then moved 2500 miles away to Hawaii. Planned to work there, but wound up retiring instead.

Now I'm in Arizona, 750 miles from my "hometown" (I have no family, friends, or even acquaintances there now), and shopping for an RV with a plan to wander with the snowbirds for a while.

We did think about moving back to California, but every place we consider goes up in flames.
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Old 11-16-2018, 10:42 AM
 
Location: Verde Valley AZ
8,614 posts, read 9,676,241 times
Reputation: 10955
Quote:
Originally Posted by jghorton View Post
I wonder if a desire to "move back home where one grew up" isn't stronger in those who have very fond memories of their childhood and family/home(?).

My wife, for example, has always had an interest in living near her small hometown, even though there is no longer any family or friends there. When she gets together with friends (from 50+ years ago, they still chatter on about their childhood years.

OTOH, I had a very dysfunctional childhood and moved as far away from where I grew-up 50-years ago and never looked back -- or had any interest in moving back. I've still got a sister and her family there and visit occasionally, but, would never consider moving back. Yet, I'm very much a 'homebody.'

I think that may have something to do with it. I know it resonates with me. Some of the happiest times of my childhood were here. Also a few pretty traumatic ones which I've never forgotten. I've always been happiest here and, truthfully, resented it every time I 'had' to leave. OTOH I've had some really great 'adventures' I wouldn't have had if I'd never left here.
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Old 11-16-2018, 10:44 AM
 
Location: Phoenix, AZ
1,699 posts, read 750,753 times
Reputation: 4199
Quote:
Originally Posted by k7baixo View Post
Like Dorothy said, "there's no place like home".

And Thomas Wolfe said "You can't go home again."


46 years ago I left the Bronx and moved to Phoenix.


No way am I ever going back to NY winters.
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Old 11-16-2018, 11:25 AM
 
Location: Colorado
2,114 posts, read 1,268,764 times
Reputation: 4402
Quote:
Originally Posted by jghorton View Post
I wonder if a desire to "move back home where one grew up" isn't stronger in those who have very fond memories of their childhood and family/home(?).

My wife, for example, has always had an interest in living near her small hometown, even though there is no longer any family or friends there. When she gets together with friends (from 50+ years ago, they still chatter on about their childhood years.

OTOH, I had a very dysfunctional childhood and moved as far away from where I grew-up 50-years ago and never looked back -- or had any interest in moving back. I've still got a sister and her family there and visit occasionally, but, would never consider moving back. Yet, I'm very much a 'homebody.'
I wonder about that myself. There are times I think about going back to where I grew up (and with my current job, I actually *could*, but it's an even pro/con list for me. For example, while I love my parents and am concerned about them in their old age.....they were extremely dysfunctional when I was a child (they honestly should have divorced years ago), and I remember a lot of the screaming, fighting, and the demands that I 'pick a side'. So at the same time.....I prefer to keep my distance. I do enjoy spending time with the cousins, and I always have fun when I'm back there, but....I could probably only take so much of them before they'd wear on my nerves. I joined the Army right after high school, and this was well before social media so eventually, I lost touch with a lot of the kids I grew up with. A lot of them found me on Facebook and friended me, but they either moved out of the area themselves, or over the years, it's become obvious to me that the only thing we have in common is that we once lived on the same street/attended the same school. So honestly, when I go back, I don't tend to look anybody up outside of the family. I also don't know if I'd fit in with the mind-set much anymore. Missouri is more conservative, and Colorado's a bit more 'whatever, as long as you're not bothering me about it'. Plus, after 20 years here, I've actually lived in Colorado longer than I physically lived in Missouri.

But except for my sister, who moved out here a few years ago, I don't have any family out here. And sometimes I see the pictures my family posts of casual get-togethers they have with each other and wish I could be there whenever I wanted, too. But that desire isn't really quite strong enough to make me go back.

And it honestly doesn't help that everybody keeps talking about how bad St. Louis has gotten (and to be fair, it has hit the number 1 spot for murders per year in the U.S. a few times). This doesn't mean Denver is perfect, but it doesn't seem to be anywhere near as bad.

But I think that's why I can go back and forth on it. My childhood wasn't completely *horrible*, but it also wasn't good enough for me to be *that* strongly attached to the area, if that makes sense.
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Old 11-16-2018, 11:45 AM
Status: "Loving life, wife and job!" (set 7 days ago)
 
Location: USA
996 posts, read 382,712 times
Reputation: 2664
Quote:
Originally Posted by adjusterjack View Post
And Thomas Wolfe said "You can't go home again."


46 years ago I left the Bronx and moved to Phoenix.


No way am I ever going back to NY winters.

Ha! I don't blame you. I'm looking forward to getting out of the deserts and closer to something that resembles four seasons.
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Old 11-16-2018, 11:56 AM
Status: "could've~would've~should've used 'have', not 'of'" (set 17 days ago)
 
Location: A Yankee in northeast TN
10,465 posts, read 14,307,686 times
Reputation: 23243
My parents moved away from their families when I was a toddler and then moved away again when I was an adult, so I don't have any family left in my 'hometown' Most of the kids I went to school with all moved away too, so 'home' hasn't had anyone to pull me back for decades now.
OTOH I am a halfback and the city I chose reminds me quite a bit of a milder version of the area where I grew up.
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Old 11-16-2018, 12:24 PM
 
Location: SF, CA
1,510 posts, read 679,088 times
Reputation: 2346
Born & raised in S Calif, now living in N Calif, and planning to continue northward to Oregon.
It's good when you find the place where you belong.
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Old 11-16-2018, 01:29 PM
 
Location: Tennessee
23,572 posts, read 17,544,804 times
Reputation: 27640
Quote:
Originally Posted by jghorton View Post
I wonder if a desire to "move back home where one grew up" isn't stronger in those who have very fond memories of their childhood and family/home(?).

My wife, for example, has always had an interest in living near her small hometown, even though there is no longer any family or friends there. When she gets together with friends (from 50+ years ago, they still chatter on about their childhood years.

OTOH, I had a very dysfunctional childhood and moved as far away from where I grew-up 50-years ago and never looked back -- or had any interest in moving back. I've still got a sister and her family there and visit occasionally, but, would never consider moving back. Yet, I'm very much a 'homebody.'
Probably so.

I have a lot of good memories here growing up. I had a good childhood. There are still some things I like about the area. Virtually all of my close family members are here.

With that said, it's not for me on a permanent basis. The onus here is on a very traditional lifestyle - get married by 25 or so to your high school or college sweetheart, pop out some kids, go to church, beach vacation once a year, and raise your kids with the kids of the people you grew up around.

I've never had any desire to be a dad. I'm not religious. I've lived, sometimes consciously, other times - less so, a somewhat unconventional life compared to what is common and expected here. I know what I like and I highly doubt I'll live in my home metro after I move off this time.
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