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Particularly if you are beginning to experience health issues you should stop work & smell the roses for a bit. (Obviously line up your health insurance needs.)
I too spent long hours at work for years & that is what the bulk of my social circle consisted of, so you will probably experience exhilaration at first eventually followed by a sense of anomie. I suggest that you figure out what you would like to experiment doing that you've put off or get better at a pastime you enjoy. Then explore getting involved in something meaningful to you (volunteering) where you will meet new folks. I found that the retirement trick is similar to when starting out in adult life: you don't wait to "find yourself" but rather you begin to create yourself.
At some point, everyone who retired took that leap of faith. It's rare that someone has enough millions to out live every potential problem such as major health costs. Yes, there are some out there who have that much, but that is the minority by a long way.
If you're ready, take the leap. If you're not certain, figure out what is truly holding you back. Is it fear of running out of money? Not knowing how you're going to spend your days? Worried about companionship and friends to do things with? There are answers to all those questions, you just have to figure your own out.
It is very very far from typical. So far from typical that it is flat-out wrong for not only the vast majority, but the description is wrong for more than the vast majority.
Yes, there are a tiny few - a very few - who feel as Fran describes or who do not adjust to retirement.
Usually it is people with few interests in life. Or those without a zest for living.
This has been discussed widely here in many other threads and everywhere.
I cannot believe that one poster is trying push this as something experienced by the vast majority.
As mentioned, this has been discussed in this forum in many previous threads.
And the weird idea that 'everyone is lying' is just laughable.....and weird.
I agree. I live in a community that's about 80% retired people and everyone we know that's retired loves it. I don't know a single retired person that wants to go back to their old job. That doesn't mean they don't exist, Fran66 is living proof, but they do tend to be few and far between, and I'm not sure that someone who enjoyed their old job and work family so much is a relevant comparison to the OP who is hating his job more and more and detesting everything about working.
My question goes back to the OP...Why do you think you have to move and downsize? Is it necessary in order for you to afford retirement? Can you do one without the other, such as downsize without leaving your general area? If moving is what you're worried about, just don't move. Right?
If you don't like the idea of a retirement community, don't live in one. We moved into this mostly retirement community after retirement, and although we were much younger than a lot of the retirees here, we have a great time and there are much more activities and it's easy to find people to do them with in a retirement community. But I suppose it's not really an advantage to people who are introverts and want to stay home. It doesn't stop them from doing so however. They're just not benefitting from all that's available to them.
You need to talk to a retirement counselor. The financial part is easy to figure out. Will your cash flow cover monthly expenses and will your savings provide emergency cash and mad money? If you have reached retirement age without a household budget, you need to address that right now. Enter everything you have spent in the last year into a spreadsheet, minimize commuting expenses and work clothing, maybe lunches, and there's your retirement budget. Add up your projected pension, SS and dividends, fill in an online tax return using those numbers, and there's your retirement income. Is your income bigger than your budget? You are golden. Your lifestyle won't have to change. Is your budget bigger than your income? You will have to make some changes.
The lifestyle part of retiring is actually a lot less complex. I have found many places to spend my time. Local government always has commissions that are hard to fill, like the Land Conservation and Development Commission, which is an elected position that no one files for. Go to the county clerk, pay the filing fee, and you are on the ballot. Go to meetings. Meet people from all over the county and learn about their concerns and what programs are available to help them. School boards are another organization that need people. There are also boards for your local fire department, and any other nonprofit in your area. A career of interpreting and adhering to guidelines and rules would make you a vital asset to many organizations, and you will find yourself involved with the public service social life of your county.
Not everyone wants to retire to a life of reading books on the deck of a cruise ship or doing jigsaw puzzles at the senior center. If you want to stay more involved, nothing is stopping you. Look around.
2012 lost my husband to cancer. age 51
2013 lost my baby brother to cancer age 50
2014 lost my best friend since age 6 to heart attack. age 53. All of the above scrimped, sacrificed and saved and it got them squat!!
I understand your point, but it really did get them something: financial peace of mind through their final breath.
I understand your point, but it really did get them something: financial peace of mind through their final breath.
Excellent point. If the goal is to "spend it all before I'm gone," then it might seem like wasted effort. But if the goal is to put yourself in position to rest easy (whether that "rest" is for one night or forever, and whether it comes tomorrow or 30 years from now...), then it wasn't for naught.
It is very very far from typical. So far from typical that it is flat-out wrong for not only the vast majority, but the description is wrong for more than the vast majority.
Yes, there are a tiny few - a very few - who feel as Fran describes or who do not adjust to retirement.
Usually it is people with few interests in life. Or those without a zest for living.
This has been discussed widely here in many other threads and everywhere.
I cannot believe that one poster is trying push this as something experienced by the vast majority.
As mentioned, this has been discussed in this forum in many previous threads.
And the weird idea that 'everyone is lying' is just laughable.....and weird.
Who said the part I bolded? I read and reread all of the posts, but I can't find where anyone said that. Please point that out to me, because I just can't find it!
Re: The idea that it's harder to make friends the older we get.
This might be one reason to consider moving, even if you do love your home. In some towns, what Fran is saying is true. Certainly where we used to live in northern Virginia, it was fairly hard to make friends. I liked living there quite a bit, and I did meet a lot of people who were friendly enough--but their lives were already so overloaded with family and work obligations that they had little or no time for becoming close friends. If we had stayed there after we retired, we might have the same sort of feelings that Fran has.
Instead, we moved to a much more social community. Most people in my town are retirees, and many have moved here recently and perhaps that makes them more open to making new friends. If having a strong social life is something that you'd like to have in retirement, this is something to consider. It's not the only solution, of course. Volunteering has been a good way for us to make friends (be sure to volunteer for something that you find FUN, otherwise you're just working for no pay, LOL). Joining clubs, teams, bands, theatrical groups, art collaborations, meet-up groups, etc.work for many people, too. Or, look for a local church that has social activities you enjoy.
Thanks for all the replies, I was surprised there were so many in 1 day, much appreciated. I have considered pretty much all of the thinking points mentioned. I know it's probably been covered ad nauseum, but I needed to write it down as part of my process. For those who wants more specifics, I'm married, I've met with several financial advisors over the years and we'll be fine financially albeit will live on less money. I migrated to a federal job so I could buy insurance and other benefits at employee rates in retirement and have achieved everything I could have hoped for in my career. We are both introverts and our social circle has narrowed significantly over the years because we have become less trustworthy of others, the distance we live from our friends, and our families live out of state and will not be much of a support for us unfortunately, we'll be on our own. So there have been some scare tactics involved, "you better get out of there and move back into civilization while you still can, while you still have your health." "You're going to be bored and miserable when you stop working, men don't do well in retirement, especially someone in your profession (I'm male and in the medical profession), "you won't be able to manage that property as you get older, it will be too much and you can't afford the upkeep", "you don't have any family nearby to help you, you need to move into a supportive environment" (to me that's a retirement village). And on and on.
So one thing I left out is that we have strong spiritual lives, and I lean on my faith when I get lost in a decision which is what is going to happen here, I can feel it coming, I'll just give it up and let things take their course, which is what I do when I've done all I can do. I'm famous for getting out my wife's art eazle and writing pro and con lists and revising it for months before I make a big decision, she also helps with that. I'm a planner and an organizer, and there's nothing left as far as pros and cons to think about, I'm aware of all the recommendations for a successful retirement, no one fits neatly into all the suggestions for a happy retirement, and I certainly don't, but I like some of the ideas for activity mentioned in these responses, things I had not thought about. My spouse is not pressuring me to keep working, or to retire, wants me to make my own decision, she's always been a homemaker and will do just fine. I'm the one that will be heavily challenged to not just sit down and become a couch potato. I can get up and give a lecture to 150 students in an auditorium without a problem, but have difficulty inserting myself into small groups of people I don't know. But when I do, it always seems to go well, I just have trouble putting my foot in the door.
Both my parents died in agony, my father with cancer, my mother in a nursing home with Alzheimers. This is driving me forward to lay down the gauntlet and ease up on myself. I also believe happiness comes and goes, joy is a constant. And I also believe our outlook and the emotions that drive that outlook can sometimes be decisions, and not necessarily come naturally. So in the end, I'll make the decision to move forward with my reinvention in a positive manner, just not sure I'll ever be ready or know when the time is right. I appreciate all the sentiments expressed here, thank you very much.
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Lots to consider
