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I suppose that's true; she would have to "testify" against her Golden Child 1, but at least it would alert authorities. I also wouldn't put it past her to try to apply for Medicaid without reporting that she owns House A in order not to displace him. In the previous application, she and her husband "claimed" only House B.
I very much doubt that any of this would qualify as "elder abuse." The kids are selfish jerks, but your friend has all her wits about her and could take legal steps to remedy the situation, but doesn't want to. There's definitely some emotional blackmail going on, but again, I doubt the "authorities" are going to step in on that basis.
Friend is going to have to grow a backbone and tell child 1 that they have to either switch houses and pay the mortgage on House B, or sign a lease on House A for the same amount as the mortgage child 2 is paying for house B. State it as a "fairness" principle, that one child shouldn't live for free, and if they do it should be child 2, with the disabilities, NOT the one who's already well off. I know she says child 1 will cut off grandchild contact, but that's probably not going to happen. If they refuse to move or sign a lease, she needs to start legal eviction proceedings to force them to, or list the house for sale. Hopefully discussions around fairness and her lack of $$ for mom should prompt child 1 to be more realistic.
We thought my mom would not qualify since she owned a home. We were going to sell, but the social worker at the hospital told us that as long as a family member was living there - that did not apply.
Perhaps the friend can just tell child 1 she can no longer pay the taxes and insurance on the 2 homes on only her SS, and that Mom and child 2 will be moving into house A, WITH child 1/spouse/kids, so that house B can be sold. That might get some action. It's Mom's house after all, and child 1 has no legal claim to be there if asked to leave. Then child 1 may agree to pay rent to allow mom to pay the taxes and insurance and prevent the move.
As a former social worker I can say that this doesn’t qualify as elder abuse. If she was incompetent and taken advantage of that would be a different story.
We thought my mom would not qualify since she owned a home. We were going to sell, but the social worker at the hospital told us that as long as a family member was living there - that did not apply.
Who was the family member living there in your mom's case? As I understand it, it must be the applicant him- or herself (they can own the home in which they live) or a DISABLED child.
Who was the family member living there in your mom's case? As I understand it, it must be the applicant him- or herself (they can own the home in which they live) or a DISABLED child.
My oldest brother lived there. Yes he was a disabled veteran, but he was not the owner.
Your friend enjoys playing the victim. I would tell her to either take action and you will be supportive or to continue the way she is going and to never mention it again. Life’s too short to listen to people complain and doing nothing to resolve the problem.
Meh. Unless you are self-employed or work on commission pretty much everyone's income is "fixed" at a given moment.
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