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My husband and I will not have enough money to stay in a luxury assisted living center or a really crummy one for that matter.
After spending most of the night in the ER with my mom last night, I called my husband and we now have a suicide pact.
Sad but true, for so many. I do not have a spouse to consider, but have decided that I will "end it" before I am forced to live on charity of any kind. Along with this, of course, is my decision to not avail myself of any medical care that is unaffordable. . . .so if medicare will not cover it, I will refuse it.
My husband and I will not have enough money to stay in a luxury assisted living center or a really crummy one for that matter.
After spending most of the night in the ER with my mom last night, I called my husband and we now have a suicide pact.
I am so really sorry to hear this. I hope things are working out. I can only imagine what you are going through;
I posted this on the end-of-life issues forum but got no response so far. What do you think of this provocative PBS Frontline program?
Sad but true, for so many. I do not have a spouse to consider, but have decided that I will "end it" before I am forced to live on charity of any kind. Along with this, of course, is my decision to not avail myself of any medical care that is unaffordable. . . .so if medicare will not cover it, I will refuse it.
I agree, but perhaps easier said than done. I wonder how many of us are going to have to make the same decision
Did you see the PBS Frontline program - see link in my post, above
Sad but true, for so many. I do not have a spouse to consider, but have decided that I will "end it" before I am forced to live on charity of any kind. Along with this, of course, is my decision to not avail myself of any medical care that is unaffordable. . . .so if medicare will not cover it, I will refuse it.
You have a very wrong prospective. Programs like Medicare and Medicaid, which will take over and pay the costs for people with less assets, is not charity. Medicaid is funded by Federal and State Taxes which you paid your whole life. Medicaid may not be apparent to you as straight Medicare tax but is still funded by your tax dollars. The same goes for rent relief, food nutrition programs and all social government programs to help people in need.
Private relief funds, either faith based or not, are also supported by you because all of them receive governments grants, payments, tax rebates, exception from property taxes etc. These programs you have funded your whole life through your taxes. I challenge you to find one private charity or non-profit entity that has not received some government assistance--you will not find it. If relief programs are fully funded by a private foundation, that foundation has also received government tax incentives. So, your tax dollars have been there in all "charities". Also, many of us have given directly to "charities" over our lifetime.
You must look at these like insurance programs. You may not receive a benefit, if you do not have a need; but if the need arises, then you receive benefits which are funded by the group.
I encourage you to know that there is no shame is accepting assistance or help. I am very disabled and I receive help; but at the same time I do contribute to charities with money and time, because I believe it is a privilege to help those who have more needs. You are of our American Social Community; please feel that it is not a loss of dignity to receive "charity".
You have a very wrong prospective. Programs like Medicare and Medicaid, which will take over and pay the costs for people with less assets, is not charity. Medicaid is funded by Federal and State Taxes which you paid your whole life. Medicaid may not be apparent to you as straight Medicare tax but is still funded by your tax dollars. The same goes for rent relief, food nutrition programs and all social government programs to help people in need.
Private relief funds, either faith based or not, are also supported by you because all of them receive governments grants, payment, tax rebates, exception from property taxes etc. These programs you have funded your whole life through your taxes. I challenge you to find one private charity or non-profit entity that has not received some government assistance--you will not find it. Also, many of us have given to "charities" over our lifetime.
You must look at these like insurance programs. You may not receive a benefit, if you do not have a need; but if the need arises, then you receive benefits which are funded by the group.
I encourage you to know that there is no shame is accepting assistance or help. I am very disabled and I receive help; but at the same time I do contribute to charities with money and time, because I believe it is a privilege to help those who have more needs. You are of our American Social Community; please feel that it is not a loss of dignity to receive "charity".
Livecontent
Thank you for your post. I know that what you are saying is correct, but I have another perspective on this. I refuse to burden the healthy population with "end of life" care, especially the kinds of expensive, extraordinary care that most Doctors and hospitials feel is appropriate, in this day and age. I am already at an age that compels me to consider these issues, and at an age when I might very well voluntarily refuse cancer treatment, for instance, if I was diagnosed with one of the ones that is not completely curable. My priorities are that available health care dollars be spent on the children and young adults of the coming generations, not on the elderly. If I lived in Alaska, I would be deciding which ice floe to take my final breath on.
I think many of us (especially those who have worked in healthcare or seen end-of-life situations) might opt to suicide if we simply don't want the quality of our lives. I think, not of "charity," but of debilitating disease- lack of function to a severe degree- neurological or very painful. If I know the "end" is near, and I don't see room for improvement, well, I expect to opt out. I don't consider that a sad or martyred position (letting resources go to others) just a decision that I don't want to live under certain circumstances.
Of course, I always reserve the right to move the goalposts.
Thank you for your post. I know that what you are saying is correct, but I have another perspective on this. I refuse to burden the healthy population with "end of life" care, especially the kinds of expensive, extraordinary care that most Doctors and hospitials feel is appropriate, in this day and age. I am already at an age that compels me to consider these issues, and at an age when I might very well voluntarily refuse cancer treatment, for instance, if I was diagnosed with one of the ones that is not completely curable. My priorities are that available health care dollars be spent on the children and young adults of the coming generations, not on the elderly. If I lived in Alaska, I would be deciding which ice floe to take my final breath on.
I agree with statement and it has really hit home, as my mother died last week. She did not want to live with the severe problems and disabilities caused by a stroke, about 4 months ago. I could have kept her alive but it would have caused her pain. Her condition would not improve. Of course it would have caused a financial burden on the health care system. It was my decision to make; I moved her to a hospice and all life support was removed. She was in the hospice for about 3 week. She was 84.
All the medical providers, doctors, nurses, chaplains, counselors supported my decision in the Nursing Home and Hospital where she was sent after a crisis. The hospital was Catholic and the staff made it easy and quick with no opposition. My family met with a chaplain, a nurse, a social worker and a Physician. The young Doctor practiced a new specialty of Palliative Care--that was his job to advice and help patients with end of life decisions.
Hospice was difficult and an emotional experience. The separate building facility was the first built and design, in Colorado, for specifically hospice care. It is new and modern, very bright and all patients had single rooms. It is in a nice treed setting. All the windows where very low and big, so patients can look out. The outside doors are wider to allow the beds to be wheeled to patios and courtyards. It has many lounges where families waited, and waited, for death to come.
What I am trying to say to you is that the health care system now provides the services to end a life and not extend it with "extraordinary, expensive care". It is fully supported by Medicare. From my experience there is encouragement to end a life. The big problem is not from Doctors or Hospitals, it is from the families who refuse to let go when there is no hope. I heard numerous stories from Doctors of their despair with families who refused to let death take the natural course.
I am sad but I am convinced I made the right decision for my mother.
Livecontent - I am sorry to hear of your mother's death. Yes, you did the right thing. Glad you had lots of support - this would make it easier during the decision making process and after.
Livecontent - I am sorry to hear of your mother's death. Yes, you did the right thing. Glad you had lots of support - this would make it easier during the decision making process and after.
Yes, sorry to hear of your loss. It is always hard to lose a parent but it sounds like you were a loving son who took your mother's wishes to heart. That hospice sounds like a wonderful place to spend one's last days.
There does come a time to let nature take its course. We are often kinder to our pets than we are to ourselves and our relatives. Each case is individual but sometimes the heroic efforts only end up torturing a person in their last days.
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