Why do people look at you like you're crazy when you say "hello"?

[Mordin]

Originally Posted by 3rdGen SFan

Greetings used to be common in the early 1990's and prior, at least in a lot of areas here in SF. The population was more friendly, sociable and eager to befriend each other back then. Most people in neighborhoods knew each other, welcomed new people, and we had neighborhood block parties.

Now most people here are cliquish, ignore many of their neighbors, bicker over public street parking spaces and suffer with paranoia or anxiety. People here are so strangely different these days, I often feel like I'm having a nightmare about living somewhere else or that our society is being replaced with hostile, human-look-alike beings from another planet.

It used to be ordinary for strangers to have conversations with each other, it wasn't considered weird. I used to meet a lot of people in public places, cafes, bus stops, events, etc by one of us initiating conversation. In the late 1990's, I began to get weird reactions from some strangers when I initiated conversations (women acted scared or mistook my talkative nature for sexual interest, and some people ignored me, might have thought I was crazy?). Those reactions were unusual & weird to me back then. I had to teach myself to avoid initiating conversations with strangers, if they aren't looking open to meeting strangers.

As a native San Franciscan, I couldn't agree more. Rep given good sir.

[Ruth4Truth]

Originally Posted by ttocs99

This is an interesting thread. I didn't read the whole thing, but interesting nonetheless. I moved to San Francisco from NYC back in 1999, and lived in the Bay Area until 2006. When I moved there, I was actually unnerved, because people were saying hello to me (and smiling). I thought I was gonna get mugged, because that has never happened to me in NYC (people saying hello). So on a whole, I find Californian's in general to be a more friendly group as opposed to New Yorkers.


That being said, the stereotype of the rude New Yorker is so wildly untrue. They may look unapproachable, but in time of need, for instance, if you are lost in NYC, 99.99% of the people will be glad to help. It's just that New Yorkers have a very hurried personality, so they look like they don't wanna be bothered. NYC is a very intense/frenzied/crazy fast place. I actually was bit overwhelmed when I moved back in 2006. And I was born and raised in NYC, was 36 when I moved to California.

It happens to women. NYC is friendly toward women. Such a pleasant relief from Seattle, where I lived for too long.

This reminds me of a story I read in the NY Times, in their weekly column where readers send in vignettes of their experiences with NYC. A woman from there was visiting CA. She was in a store check-out line, and the friend she was visiting was chatting with the cashier, and they shared a laugh. She made a comment about "Oh, you two must be good friends!", and the cashier said, "I've never seen him before. This is normal. Where are you from, New York?"

[curiousgeorge5]

Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth

It happens to women. NYC is friendly toward women. Such a pleasant relief from Seattle, where I lived for too long.

I heard claims that the weather there in Seattle actually can cause some emotional issues.

[mushroomhunter]

Originally Posted by Lockdev

I'm originally from the south, where everyone says hello to everyone.

Some people here say hello back here, but most seem to start the scurry-away-from-you dance or just stare at you like you cussed out their mum or are about to rob them. You can literally see the fear in their eyes.

This is a serious question, but is there a high level of autism in the Bay Area?

Why are people just so unfriendly?

Hey I lived my longest in the Carolinas so I know where you are coming from. Southern hospitality is a very charming thing, that's mostly limited to the wonderful South. It's not so common here, I find most people quite distant, cold and unfriendly myself here. It is what it is, I don't plan to stay here that long so it's okay I guess.

[Lockdev]

Originally Posted by mushroomhunter

Hey I lived my longest in the Carolinas so I know where you are coming from. Southern hospitality is a very charming thing, that's mostly limited to the wonderful South. It's not so common here, I find most people quite distant, cold and unfriendly myself here. It is what it is, I don't plan to stay here that long so it's okay I guess.

Amen, brother.

[Ruth4Truth]

Originally Posted by curiousgeorge5

I heard claims that the weather there in Seattle actually can cause some emotional issues.

We're still trying to figure out the cause, lol. There are several theories. I lean toward the weather one.

[fluffythewondercat]

Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth

hm...I think people are taking others' preferences way too seriously. It's not a big deal. Just because I like Peet's (and I don't even drink coffee!), I'd be labeled a "peet's person"? I don't think so. But....whatever.

I've been noticing lately that for some folks it seems to go past coffee preferences and right into tribal territory.

In fact, I think coffee allegiances could be mapped the same way religious denominations are but being both an atheist and a non-coffee-drinker I won't attempt it.

It is true that some people pride themselves on being a Philz person or a Blue Bottle person or whatever, to a degree that may be seen as overdone by some. A small independent coffeehouse opened in our area recently. It strikes me as very snooty indeed, with expensive artisan small-batch chocolate and $6 pourovers. If it goes under it will probably be because the owner isn't promoting it enough, not because it has failed to imbue its tribe members (aka customers) with a sense of their own superiority.