Why Doesn't SF Smile? (Marina: lawyers, to live, dangerous)

[Gentoo]

Originally Posted by andyadhi01

Okay so you don't live here and then lecturing people who live here about how the city actually is. FYI, Golden gate park also attracts its share of d'bags!

Listen, I know the city as well as the east bay. It's my original home and I've never been disconnected from it. I was there not long ago and am likely going back very soon so save it.

I think negative SF threads attract a better collection of "d'bags", but that's just me though.

BTW, do you need me to explain my quotation marks this time or do you get it now? LOL

[SV808]

Originally Posted by ambient

Every big city is this way, from New York to Paris.

Right..

Hate to break it to you but SF is a farm compared to "BIG CITIES". The last time I checked, NYC has nearly 10X as many people as SF, and Paris had around 2.4 million. SF barely has 800,000.

Attention San Franciscans: You aren't on their level. SF isn't a big city at all. It's SMALL.

I expect that rudeness out of actual BIG cosmopolitan cities like NY, London, Paris, Tokyo, etc, but SF should smile a little more. It's a small silly tourist trap. A daily shower and daily teeth brushing would also help.

People in the City of SF are unnecessarily rude, not to mention unnecessarily scruffy, unkempt and smelly (they mirror the city, in fact). If you want to pretend you're a NY or a Paris at least act the part.

I hate driving into SF. Nothing more than a slummy tourist trap. Who lives there? As someone said, it is nothing more than a scruffy Bay Area suburb. I avoid it like the plague. Annoying little city. If I want to visit a real city I travel. Why anyone would pick it over the nicer communities we have here is beyond comprehension.

[rah]

^hahaha, what is this, a troll convention?

[bellalunatic]

LOL! Seriously! This is nuts.

[bellalunatic]

Originally Posted by SV808

Right..

Hate to break it to you but SF is a farm compared to "BIG CITIES". The last time I checked, NYC has nearly 10X as many people as SF, and Paris had around 2.4 million. SF barely has 800,000.

Attention San Franciscans: You aren't on their level. SF isn't a big city at all. It's SMALL.

I expect that rudeness out of actual BIG cosmopolitan cities like NY, London, Paris, Tokyo, etc, but SF should smile a little more. It's a small silly tourist trap. A daily shower and daily teeth brushing would also help.

People in the City of SF are unnecessarily rude, not to mention unnecessarily scruffy, unkempt and smelly (they mirror the city, in fact). If you want to pretend you're a NY or a Paris at least act the part.

I hate driving into SF. Nothing more than a slummy tourist trap. Who lives there? As someone said, it is nothing more than a scruffy Bay Area suburb. I avoid it like the plague. Annoying little city. If I want to visit a real city I travel. Why anyone would pick it over the nicer communities we have here is beyond comprehension.

Of course, you live in Los Gatos. Now there's a real big surprise

[sabbytabby]

Originally Posted by guy1

One thing I am reluctant to mention (don't worry it's not that much of a biggie) is, I didn't have a good time during my last trip: a day trip.

Here's why: the people weren't friendly. Very simple. I spoke to a few people and they smiled. But it was a wan smile. As if, someone forced them to do it when they were having a bad day. As if their cat had just puked that morning, and they didn't know why.

Even people genuinely interested in talking to you (who would talk with you for an extended time) didn't smile.

It was like a grey cloud was hanging over their shoulder, when in fact the weather was quite nice.

California is just in a sour mood generally speaking. What's up with that?

I just moved from the Marina District in San Fran, some of the people were pretty snooty. When I first moved there from Texas I used to say hello to people in passing all the time. Then, as time wore on, I found myself acting just like them. (I had become what I once despised). Meaning, kinda snobby, no eye contact, no hellos...anyway, one day I was walking down the street and I could see him a mile away. He was HAPPY to be alive, coming towards me with two coffees in his hands, smiling, and when we passed he said hello. I couldn't force anything out, I was so shocked and mad at myself, I wanted to stop in my tracks and hollar back helloooo, but I didn't. Feeling quite ashamed I vowed never to be like that again. Down here in LA people are really friendly. I say hello to everyone I pass. Spread the sunshine.
p.s. to me, sf was too cold and foggy, i lived there 3 years, the last year was miserable, so, maybe between that and the (recession) lots of people are miserable. I know lots of people including myself that lost their job this past year. Keep smiling though, it's more infectious than you think.

[bellalunatic]

Originally Posted by sabbytabby

I just moved from the Marina District in San Fran, some of the people were pretty snooty. When I first moved there from Texas I used to say hello to people in passing all the time. Then, as time wore on, I found myself acting just like them. (I had become what I once despised). Meaning, kinda snobby, no eye contact, no hellos...anyway, one day I was walking down the street and I could see him a mile away. He was HAPPY to be alive, coming towards me with two coffees in his hands, smiling, and when we passed he said hello. I couldn't force anything out, I was so shocked and mad at myself, I wanted to stop in my tracks and hollar back helloooo, but I didn't. Feeling quite ashamed I vowed never to be like that again. Down here in LA people are really friendly. I say hello to everyone I pass. Spread the sunshine.
p.s. to me, sf was too cold and foggy, i lived there 3 years, the last year was miserable, so, maybe between that and the (recession) lots of people are miserable. I know lots of people including myself that lost their job this past year. Keep smiling though, it's more infectious than you think.

Good point. Maybe the OP's day trip was only in the Marina/Cow Hollow neighborhood, that would totally explain it.

[rah]

I'm an SF native but i smile and say hello to strangers occasionally. It depends on my mood, and i'm about 1,000x more likely to do it if i'm in within a 5 block radius of my house, or in some other quiet, sleepy residential hood (and if the person approaching me doesn't look angry/psychotic). For the most part though i'm going about my own business, and i assume everyone else is too. When you live in a big, dense city you encounter thousands of people every day, so being extra friendly and attentive to them all isn't really possible, but i've never thought of SF residents as unfriendly. On the contrary i often find it to be the opposite. If someone asks me a question, i'll help them out if i can. I may or not smile, but it doesn't mean anything bad (plus, smiles sometimes have to be worked for...you don't get a smile just because you exist). I've witnessed many SF resident-tourist conversations, and partaken in some of my own as well. I've heard plenty of other people explain your average SF resident as helpful and nice too...

there's another aspect to greeting strangers too, beyond wanting to be friendly, and I think of it like this: I'm walking down an empty sidewalk with another person walking towards me. They look nice, no one else is around, i'm in no rush, we both see each other...in this case, it would be weird NOT to say hello in my opinion. We both are in each other's "space" and have acknowledged this by locking eyes, so a word or two is in order otherwise i'd feel kinda awkward. But on a crowded street that dynamic is gone...what, are you going to say hi to EVERYONE?

I definitely find other parts of the country to be more overtly friendly than SF though. In new england (specifically RI, ME and CT), in small towns at least, i find that EVERYBODY smiles, waves and says hello, even if they haven't seen you before in their life. They'll even do it from a boat while you're standing 100 feet away on the shore, minding your own business....i found this strange at first and my thoughts would be along these lines:

"what the hell are you waving and grinning at? Wait...me? Me have a good morning?" *looks around to make sure they were actually saying hi to me*

But then it grew on me a little. It's interesting to be able to wave at strangers without looking like a weirdo. It's all about environment and pace of life...none of those new england towns surpassed 10,000 residents and some were almost rural in nature, whereas SF is a very dense city with all the ills that city life brings, that has a daytime population of about 1,000,000 people.

[bellalunatic]

It's so weird to me that people think that SF folks are "dead" to strangers.
I still can recall how shocked my older sister was when she first came to visit me in SF back in 93.
She had just had back surgery and was wearing a neck brace as part of her post op recovery, anyway, no matter where we went....Western Addition/Lower Haight/Castro/downtown Market area people on the street always asked her:
"Wow, are you okay? What happened?" etc...
My sister was so shocked.
"Oh my god, poeple here are soooo nice! It's weird!" she said.

Now granted this was before the dotcommie era and all, but still. I just don't experience what the OP is talking about, at all....

[Niandra]

I visited recently and didn't enjoy it very much (I'm a broke college student) but I must say people were nicer and the weather was way nicer than New York or Boston. The local homeless/transient population were especially pleasant, and I'm not being sarcastic. I was having the worst day and quite a few gave directions and were just generally nice. So uh, that's something, huh?