Is the dating scene really that difficult for guys in Seattle? (Bellevue: homes, neighborhood)

[LandAndSea]

Considering moving to the Seattle area for a job (Seattle, Bellevue, or Kirkland). However, I've always had difficulty trying to date and I don't want to be in a place that would make it much more difficult with the high male/female ratio.

I love the environment of Seattle - cool, cloudy, rainy. But with the tech giants present and bringing in so many engineer types I'm worried how the balance is (I'm also an engineer).

I have several interest areas and my goal would be to do those activities and hopefully date naturally, rather than use dating apps.

I see a ton of posts on the topic and ready through many but I am looking for a most recent status

Thank you.

[Ruth4Truth]

Difficult for guys? It's difficult for most people. What helps is to join outdoor recreation groups of some sort: hiking (The Mountaineers), rowing or kayaking, rock climbing, or attending REI lecture events, joining one of the neighborhood soccer leagues or volleyball through the Parks Dept., and that sort of thing. The challenging thing in Seattle is breaking the ice with strangers who often are very reserved. By sharing a group activity with people, it's a natural ice-breaker, and you get to know people by seeing them regularly over time.

[fillmore241]

Easier here than in DC, but probably difficult everywhere.

Sweeping generalization: many guys chasing after the few very attractive women who are purposely socially isolated via all the creeps / cat-callers.

My experience here is that it's easy to break the ice and make friends in Seattle (people in DC would get angry if you talked to them) but most people flake out on plans (guys and girls included). I think that's just a millennial thing, though. It was a lot harder to reschedule plans when everyone was using hard line phones & I think ppl would just tough out social interactions even if they weren't feeling their best. Now if you're not Instagram-worthy, might as well stay in and watch Netflix.

[VirtualErik]

yes

[homesinseattle]

Ruth times 2.

[RotseCherut]

After living in a sausage fest like Boise (Boys-See), Idaho , which I now call Boys Town, Seattle feels like a gold mine of women. I didn't even realize living there that the town is like 60/40 male and even the university (BSU) 65+% male. That is in addition to being a religious Christian/Mormon society where many women get married off by their early 20s. Way too much aggressive, needy men, fighting over any woman and people c**k-blocking you left and right. In addition to this there was rampant alcoholism. I've been in more potential fights in two years living in Boise, then in the last 15 years. You want to talk about a tough town to meet women, that is the worst of them.

Yes, there is a lot of men in Seattle and many have a lot of cash which is not a great thing in the dating competition market. But there are some caveats here. A lot of wealthy , nerdy, hipster beta males who have no real game, personality and tend to spoil and pamper women as the only means to getting a date. This creates a city that is definitely saturated with Provider Hunter types and you need to be very cautious for those type of women. Many of the more classy women you will see around places like Belltown and definitely the Eastside will expect you to buy them not only drinks, but food and take them out. Most of the time this will not lead to lasting relationships or sexual encounters either.

What I find toughest about women in Seattle is how shy and reserved they are. Also, many do have that Scandinavian Innocence persona which makes them always feel shameful and guilty. Seattle women are very shame-faced and it can be very daunting to a person who comes from a culture with more sexually open, warm, friendly and social women to have to deal with these more reserved, shy and shame-faced type of women.

However, with all that being said if you can see through the facade and ovecome the barriers there are a lot of single women here. Some are beautiful and I think do want to meet a genuine man for a relationship or at least a sexual encounter.

Unlike Boys-See you will see beautiful women sitting at bars alone looking to meet men. It is not as common as in other big cities but they are there. The college area has lots of young beautiful women, but they are on the younger side and in the college scene. A trip to Trader Joes in U-District will give you a nice display of eye candy. Although, I find a lot of women in Seattle dress like slobs, wearing sweat pants and t-shirts. Also, some have beer guts thanks to Seattle's very beer friendly culture . Some people say women in Seattle are not attractive, but I do not agree. I believe the city has very attractive women but they dress so badly that many mistakenly think they are not attractive. Women in cities like Miami or LA dress up like models and make themselves up heavily and are quite fit. So people will think they are super beautiful. But with the same clothing, fitness-level and makeup I bet the women here would be more attractive. You will find some ladies who do dress up a bit nice though, but less common than other cities.

[Ruth4Truth]

Originally Posted by RotseCherut

After living in a sausage fest like Boise (Boys-See), Idaho , which I now call Boys Town, Seattle feels like a gold mine of women. I didn't even realize living there that the town is like 60/40 male and even the university (BSU) 65+% male. That is in addition to being a religious Christian/Mormon society where many women get married off by their early 20s. Way too much aggressive, needy men, fighting over any woman and people c**k-blocking you left and right. In addition to this there was rampant alcoholism. I've been in more potential fights in two years living in Boise, then in the last 15 years. You want to talk about a tough town to meet women, that is the worst of them.

Yes, there is a lot of men in Seattle and many have a lot of cash which is not a great thing in the dating competition market. But there are some caveats here. A lot of wealthy , nerdy, hipster beta males who have no real game, personality and tend to spoil and pamper women as the only means to getting a date. This creates a city that is definitely saturated with Provider Hunter types and you need to be very cautious for those type of women. Many of the more classy women you will see around places like Belltown and definitely the Eastside will expect you to buy them not only drinks, but food and take them out. Most of the time this will not lead to lasting relationships or sexual encounters either.

What I find toughest about women in Seattle is how shy and reserved they are. Also, many do have that Scandinavian Innocence persona which makes them always feel shameful and guilty. Seattle women are very shame-faced and it can be very daunting to a person who comes from a culture with more sexually open, warm, friendly and social women to have to deal with these more reserved, shy and shame-faced type of women.

However, with all that being said if you can see through the facade and ovecome the barriers there are a lot of single women here. Some are beautiful and I think do want to meet a genuine man for a relationship or at least a sexual encounter.
Unlike Boys-See you will see beautiful women sitting at bars alone looking to meet men. It is not as common as in other big cities but they are there. The college area has lots of young beautiful women, but they are on the younger side and in the college scene. A trip to Trader Joes in U-District will give you a nice display of eye candy. Although, I find a lot of women in Seattle dress like slobs, wearing sweat pants and t-shirts. Also, some have beer guts thanks to Seattle's very beer friendly culture . Some people say women in Seattle are not attractive, but I do not agree. I believe the city has very attractive women but they dress so badly that many mistakenly think they are not attractive. Women in cities like Miami or LA dress up like models and make themselves up heavily and are quite fit. So people will think they are super beautiful. But with the same clothing, fitness-level and makeup I bet the women here would be more attractive. You will find some ladies who do dress up a bit nice though, but less common than other cities.

Why do I keep getting the feeling that suggesting guys cast a wider net, and check out the more average-looking women with great personalities, is blasphemy? No wonder so many women struggle to date in Seattle, no matter how well they dress. It's not just the reserve or social awkwardness of many of the guys; it's the pickiness.

[thatguy950]

Are you 6'2"+ and 7+/10 face with a six figure salary? If you don't check all those boxes you won't attract prime women anywhere in the 2017 tinder/bumble era boyo

[Blondebaerde]

Originally Posted by homesinseattle

Ruth times 2.

Of course. She recommended, quite correctly, "try being sociable in a non-pressure, non-predatory environment, take it slow and build around activities by being friendly and open, you can't help but meet people."

I joined a few of those groups, and found 1) each has a core that can be a bit cliquish, but... 2) the new people who float in and out sometimes take the happy path and are friendly, outgoing, and there to meet other new people.

...which clearly is what OP needs to find.

I've had zero trouble meeting single women in this area based on common interests, via friends, and online though haven't really tried the latter since late 2012 at this point (with serious effort, I mean). Half the men here are closet-cases, many women are dying for a normal and well-adjusted man to court them properly.

Friend of mine, a single mom, has the devil's time finding quality dates. She's presentable and intelligent and grows very tired of dealing with 9/10 weirdos, 1/10 actually legitimate, and 0/10 past few years being worth more than a couple dates in terms of "quality." In fact I could probably list out her "must haves" and few normal people would find it all that unusual, but we live in unusual times apparently.

[Ruth4Truth]

Originally Posted by Blondebaerde

Of course. She recommended, quite correctly, "try being sociable in a non-pressure, non-predatory environment, take it slow and build around activities by being friendly and open, you can't help but meet people."

I joined a few of those groups, and found 1) each has a core that can be a bit cliquish, but... 2) the new people who float in and out sometimes take the happy path and are friendly, outgoing, and there to meet other new people.

...which clearly is what OP needs to find.

I've had zero trouble meeting single women in this area based on common interests, via friends, and online though haven't really tried the latter since late 2012 at this point (with serious effort, I mean). Half the men here are closet-cases, many women are dying for a normal and well-adjusted man to court them properly. .

Impressively accurate description. There definitely is that cliquishness, but there are good people hovering around the periphery. Great post, overall.