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Personally, I don't think it is too much to ask if his teacher could do her job that she was hired for. If that includes communicating with a parent once a week so be it. It sounds like you're a little jaded and I can understand because teachers are paid very poorly and aside from parenting, they have the single most important job.
Thank you for your time Ulysses and a suggestion... spend a little less time reading Joyce and read some self help books.
But that is NOT what a kindergarten teacher's job includes. Now if a parent is worried they can set up a conference with the teacher, but it does not sound like it is necessary for this child.
Teachers communicate with parents on an *as needed* basis usually when the child needs help with something. If the teacher has 24 children in the class, she is not going to talk to each parent once a week. That is too much to expect.
OTOH, if the kindergarten is accessible during pick up time, you may be able to talk to her a bit then, but that may not work if all the parents are also trying to talk to her at the same time.
My son brings his weekly classroom work home every Friday. The teacher puts a "star", "ok" or "with help" on the paper with no other explanation. I'm not sure what is protocol but does this sound reasonable to others? At first I really liked her because she seemed very competent but I've recently concluded that I mistook her non-verbal body gestures for competence when actually they are rushed, disinterested movements made in her obvious rush to do something else. My son is in kindergarten and so far I have attended every choir practice as a volunteer mom, chaperoned a field trip and attended the parent/teacher conference (there was only one other parent that attended aside from myself). I also signed up to volunteer for the fall festival that was cancelled due to "lack of parents volunteering". So, I am a pro-active parent.
My question is...does this seem normal? Shouldn't the teacher fill out a weekly form letter with comments about each child to keep a flow of communication going? I used to talk to her aide but the teacher got mad that the "para" was commenting about her students so no more of that.
Do I speak to the teacher about this? Won't I compromise the student/teacher relationship if I do? Any suggestions?
BTW- I live in AZ and my son is enrolled in half day kindergarten at a public school. Tuition is charged for full day. I haven't gotten his IQ tested but since he has severe peanut/multi food allergies and environmental allergies he is at the doctor's weekly and has been seen by more doctor's than I've been to in my entire life and every single physician has told me that he is way above average in intelligence due to his eloquence in communication, vocabulary and general knowledge so even though I am biased I have had confirmation that he is very bright.When I met with her she told me he was average in the class and I was shocked but since then I have noticed he seems more interested in the kids than the work at school. It is a pill to get him to do homework and the only time he initiates it is right before I take him to school. I moved her from TX and the education system seems poor compared to there - as well as the DC area where I originally was.
I don't want him to do poorly because if he can't get the basics quickly life will be hard for him. With this information can anyone suggest what I can do about a.) the teacher b.) student and c.) any obvious errors on my part? Is it her? Is it me? Should I look at charter/private schools?
Thank you.
I agree with all the responses on here. You are upset because you want to hear that your child is brilliant and the teacher said he is average. What you are going to find out is it is not so important how intelligent your child is in kindergarten but how intelligent he is by the time he reaches high school.
Okay, okay....your points are taken. I do think my son is brilliant and it is a bummer that he is not getting stars on every activity. I will quit projecting my own insecurities stemming from my average grades in school. He is my only son and I am an "older" divorced mom that is going to grad school after my mortgage company tanked not so long ago.... I want his life to be better and am freaked out that it won't be so I try to control what I can about his education. If I could swing it he'd be in a private school where there is a bit more coddling to the parents/students because they want to keep students there. A brief note like - Matthew doesn't pay attention in class and forgets to write left to right and his coloring bites too would be nice. Then I could work on those things instead of the adding and subtracting skills I push (I was bad in math). There I feel better.
After reading all you wrote... I will continue to be a helpful mom for their activities and look forward to quarterly reports. I will insist that m guy do homework after watching one episode of Martha Speaks and another round after soccer practice.
Thank you all very much!
If you want to be more proactive, you could always ask the teacher if there is something she would recommend for you to work on with him at home. That will be more productive than assuming the worst - you don't want your son to pick up on your anxiety about his learning as it might impact his own attitude about school.
OP...He is in kindergarten. Homework?? seriously.
His teacher is not gonna have time to write lengthy notes on each child. And, you shouldn't expect that...if you are you are you are sitting yourself up for disappointment.
You should do active learning things w/ him at home, encourage his playing, socializing is a good thing...Kids learn a lot w/ socializing...it helps all through life.
I'm assuming you only have one child...and you are a bit worried because of his medical issues...That is understandable. But, if he has no identified problems like behavioral, or learning...he is fine.
Continue to volunteer...Be the parent that is involved all through school..it does help and teachers are naturally gonna favor a parent that helps. But, don't expect one on one communications routinely. Teachers have to prioritize...actually be glad his teacher doesn't have to focus on telling you what he did wrong, what you should do at home to improve his behavior etc. That is a good thing.
Average in K is not a failure...Maybe join a parenting group, you may be doing all sorts of things right, and you could share those things w/ parents that have difficult children.
Relax, enjoy him...play, help him learn and just love him...But, don't smother him.
You'll get through this, get into some volunteering, maybe even remedial reading, or some other helping position at his school, helping less fortunate children. You'll have more to compare things too. Your child sounds fine...just enjoy uneventful days re: school.
Last edited by JanND; 11-10-2012 at 05:40 AM..
Reason: spacing
Okay, okay....your points are taken. I do think my son is brilliant and it is a bummer that he is not getting stars on every activity. I will quit projecting my own insecurities stemming from my average grades in school. He is my only son and I am an "older" divorced mom that is going to grad school after my mortgage company tanked not so long ago.... I want his life to be better and am freaked out that it won't be so I try to control what I can about his education. If I could swing it he'd be in a private school where there is a bit more coddling to the parents/students because they want to keep students there. A brief note like - Matthew doesn't pay attention in class and forgets to write left to right and his coloring bites too would be nice. Then I could work on those things instead of the adding and subtracting skills I push (I was bad in math). There I feel better.
After reading all you wrote... I will continue to be a helpful mom for their activities and look forward to quarterly reports. I will insist that m guy do homework after watching one episode of Martha Speaks and another round after soccer practice.
Thank you all very much!
Star = Child was able to do a great job on this assignment all by himself.
O.K. = Child did an o.k. job on this assignment all by himself.
With help = Child needed help completing this assignment. (This particular assignment was new to him/didn't come all that easy to him).
As far as homework goes. I would be sure to read together every night. Have him read simple stories out loud to you or read out loud to him.
Play games.
Have him practice proper handwriting - how to form his letters. When he is able, have him draw a picture about his day and write two sentences about the picture: focus on neat well formed letters. Keep the journal as a keepsake.
Okay, okay....your points are taken. I do think my son is brilliant and it is a bummer that he is not getting stars on every activity. I will quit projecting my own insecurities stemming from my average grades in school. He is my only son and I am an "older" divorced mom that is going to grad school after my mortgage company tanked not so long ago.... I want his life to be better and am freaked out that it won't be so I try to control what I can about his education. If I could swing it he'd be in a private school where there is a bit more coddling to the parents/students because they want to keep students there. A brief note like - Matthew doesn't pay attention in class and forgets to write left to right and his coloring bites too would be nice. Then I could work on those things instead of the adding and subtracting skills I push (I was bad in math). There I feel better.
After reading all you wrote... I will continue to be a helpful mom for their activities and look forward to quarterly reports. I will insist that m guy do homework after watching one episode of Martha Speaks and another round after soccer practice.
Thank you all very much!
FWIW, almost every other parent (first time school child) probably goes through that stage. Be thankful that you are recognizing the potential for projecting your issues onto your child now, instead of in retrospect. Be involved, be proactive, but remember, let your child have ownership of his learning. Good luck to you!
Star = Child was able to do a great job on this assignment all by himself.
O.K. = Child did an o.k. job on this assignment all by himself.
With help = Child needed help completing this assignment. (This particular assignment was new to him/didn't come all that easy to him).
As far as homework goes. I would be sure to read together every night. Have him read simple stories out loud to you or read out loud to him.
Play games.
Have him practice proper handwriting - how to form his letters. When he is able, have him draw a picture about his day and write two sentences about the picture: focus on neat well formed letters. Keep the journal as a keepsake.
(I'm not a teacher, just a parent)
Thank you! Great ideas...especially having him draw a picture about his day and write two sentences about it! Very smart!
You could very well have a child that is above average in intelligence, but is only performing average at school. Kids, especially boys, tend not to always like the structure of schooling. I don't know what the solution is (unless I can take over education in the US), but it is a common issue.
Yes. This teacher is terrible for not bringing your brilliant child to his full potential. I think she should be writing a full report each week, documenting his above average intelligence and advocating for testing and placement in a school worthy of a child as gifted as your son.
I fully recommend you immediately start research into private academies and charter schools that will have a more receptive teacher to both you and your son's needs. He is obviously gifted, and needs careful tutelage to develop his brilliance. This teacher is just not up to par.
Best luck on your search for a better placement for your child. You sound like a very involved parent. Kudos to you.
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