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3 hours. Started at 9 - had 3 hours at an insurance agency making cold calls - individual owner - sketchy as was the area - went to lunch and never went back. It was awful.
Thought of one -- got it through a temp agency, only accepted because it's hard for me to say no, but had just been hired for a f/t perm job starting the next day, so knew this was the only job with the temp agency.
My job was to sit at someone's messy, messy desk and input data. Computer and computer program were way outdated and this was 15+ years ago.
Boring as hell, was told I could leave after 4 hours or work all day.
Right over the desk I was using was a skylight, it was the type of day where the sun was intermittently behind the clouds. However, when the sun was out, it come right through the skylight and made a bull eye for the computer screen, every time that happened something about it made me so sleepy, when the sun moved back behind the clouds, it was ok.
After 4 hours (don't even think I took a lunch), and dealing with the boring work, outdated computer and the sun shining on it, I summoned up my courage and told the manager I was leaving. He was very nice. I also wanted to tell him to tell his employee to clean up their desk before they leave. I barely had room to check off the data as I went along.
2 hours at Burger King. It was my first job, and I was barely 16 years old. I walk in the first day and they hand me a uniform shirt size 2X (obviously not my size) that I'm almost positive had not been washed. It was covered in sweat stains and smelled like an onion ring. They gave me no training yet got frustrated when I could not magically work the registers. I went home early and called the second day to tell them I wouldn't be back.
I quickly discovered that food service was not for me.
Ha! My son, also barely 16 years old, just started at BK and they still give you a dirty shirt, don't train you, and yet expect you to know everything.
I quit a job at a CPA's firm three hours after being hired because the senior CPA came in and said "I know I'm not supposed to ask this, but are you planning on getting pregnant because tax season is coming up".
I didn't quit because of the question, he was a jerk and I knew it when i took the job. I quit because I saw the look on a tax assemblers face as she looked down at her stomach (which was quite flat, but I'm guessing she was thinking her job was in jeopardy) I figured it was better for me to quit than to call my husband to post bail
Either you quit or you were fired, what is the shortest time you held a position?
For me, 1 day. This was at a LifeFoam factory (they produce white foam coolers) after day #1 I quit.
A couple of hours. It paid well but, I didn't like the commute and some of the people looked GHETTO...like I knew stuff would go down if I stayed (knowing I wouldn't tolerate their mouths or antics). So, I left on my 1st break.
Do I win the prize if I tell you that my shortest employment was TEN MINUTES??!
On summer break during my college years, I interviewed for and got a job as a "receptionist for an electrical contracting company."
When I reported for my first day of work, I discovered that the entire job description and interview was a farce. The job was actually for phone solicitation, selling magazines. This was before the "Do Not Call" list, and most people loathed phone solicitors. I made a few calls, hating to intrude upon these people, so I just quit and walked out. (No, I didn't get paid for my 10 minutes!)
Adding to my story, I soon got a job as a pharmacist assistant. Shortly after I started, a nice-looking young man in a suit came into the pharmacy, with a newspaper clipping in his hand. He needed directions to the address in the clipping, for a job interview. I recognized the address and company logo as being the same place I had gotten suckered into becoming a phone solicitor!! I told him my story, and he thanked me that he wouldn't have to waste his time going to the interview!
3 hours. Awful temp assignment where I was 4th temp sent out that week. The executive would shout demands from her office to me.
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Now I know what happened... because they closed up shop, moved to Atlanta & opened up the fake mortgage co I worked at for 2-hrs! 
It paid well but, I didn't like the commute and some of the people looked GHETTO...like I knew stuff would go down if I stayed (knowing I wouldn't tolerate their mouths or antics). So, I left on my 1st break.
