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You seem to be implying that my staying home didn't count because I managed to leave the house occasionally. I volunteered at church, sometimes on Sunday mornings while my husband was with the kids, or while they were in Sunday School. I was in MOPS, which included some extra volunteer time, and our fundraising and dues paid for on-site child care. During the last couple years, my youngest was in preschool and kindergarten, so I had a few hours to work a very minimal part time job and do some more volunteering at the church, and at the elementary school.
No, I'm not saying that it didn't count. You seemed very critical of anyone who pointed out that they were a SAHM on a resume (and I'm not sure I have a solid opinion about that yet - I think it would come up, but I don't know if it's good/bad to put it on a resume) and THEN said that you put your volunteer work on there instead. That kind of made it sound like you needed to have something more important to tell them, and by extension, being a SAHM alone was not good enough.
Clearly, a mom who spends most of her time at home, caring for her children, and not working is a SAHM. After that, it starts to get more grey. If you spend a lot of it doing something else (makes me think of the stereotypical rich volunteer woman, who has a nanny taking care of her kids all day so she can look like she's doing something more important), then eventually, you don't resemble a SAHM much anymore. I'm not saying that was you. I'm just saying that most SAHMs I have known didn't have the opportunity (or inclination?) to do much except watch their kids - at least not until the kids were in school. And if they did get a few hours here and there, they spent it running [childfree] errands, going to appointments, or just taking a little bit of time for themselves.
No, I'm not saying that it didn't count. You seemed very critical of anyone who pointed out that they were a SAHM on a resume (and I'm not sure I have a solid opinion about that yet - I think it would come up, but I don't know if it's good/bad to put it on a resume) and THEN said that you put your volunteer work on there instead. That kind of made it sound like you needed to have something more important to tell them, and by extension, being a SAHM alone was not good enough.
Clearly, a mom who spends most of her time at home, caring for her children, and not working is a SAHM. After that, it starts to get more grey. If you spend a lot of it doing something else (makes me think of the stereotypical rich volunteer woman, who has a nanny taking care of her kids all day so she can look like she's doing something more important), then eventually, you don't resemble a SAHM much anymore. I'm not saying that was you. I'm just saying that most SAHMs I have known didn't have the opportunity (or inclination?) to do much except watch their kids - at least not until the kids were in school. And if they did get a few hours here and there, they spent it running [childfree] errands, going to appointments, or just taking a little bit of time for themselves.
I was speaking from the perspective of an employer looking at a resume. I think we're expected to take care of our kids and manage our homes. It isn't really resume worthy. That's not to say it isn't extremely time consuming and at times, difficult.
No, that's not me. I never said I spent hours on end, every week, volunteering for stuff. I taught Sunday school. I helped in the church nursery. I cleaned up the sanctuary after services. I volunteered for an hour/week in the classroom after they started school. I was on a committee in my MOPS group that required a bit of time and a lot of organization. None of it was super time consuming, and very little of it took away from my time with the kids. They were either included, or it was during evenings or weekends. But it was something.
On my resume after my work experience and education, I included a section for "Volunteer Work and Other Employment" where I listed my very part time weekend job and various club and church committees, and the years I participated.
No. I do not think it is bad for a stay at home mom to call if being a job. It is a job. They used to call that position a Housewife. Why that is a dirty word, I do not know. Do you?
As soon as my kid started first grade I went back to work full-time. I did not enjoy being a stay at home parent and I would not do it again unless I had to.
I didn't put sahm on my resume but I did on my job applications-you are expected to account for gaps in employment.
It's a 24/7 job for good mom's, not so much for bad moms. I always tell my wife that her job is much harder than mine, and I'm not joking. After my son was born I found a new appreciation for moms and stay at home moms in particular.
I agree with this. If you are a stay at home parent and you actually cook multiple meals per day not frozen crap, your house is spotless, you are really spending time with your kid(s) and not just throwing them in front of the tv or video games, laundry done, etc. You are a great stay at home parent. I was a horrible stay at home parent.
As a sometime stay-at-home father, you have no idea what goes on for a parent who stays home with the kids and/or works from home. Aside from the general child care, refereeing of disagreements between the half-sized humans, and cleaning, there is also meal planning, shopping, doctor appointments, dentist appointments, planned outings (if you don't want your kids to be unsociable little trolls), budgeting, and about 5 dozen other things that you are in charge of.
I've been a truck driver, a construction worker, a business owner, and middle management. Every job I've ever had outside the home has been easier than being a full time stay at home parent. Not only should it be on a resume, it should have a prominent position and list all of the skills that are necessary to be successful at it.
Good points, and they're more credible coming from someone who has lived both a working and stay at home lifestyle. I do think people think the grass is greener on the other side, so to speak, when it comes to seeing a lifestyle that's different from their own as being cushier. As you identify, it's not that your responsibilities/hassles go away when you change from the work world to being a stay at home parent, but the responsibilities/hassles are just different ones, along with the rewards, which are also different from the rewards in the work world.
To respond to the original question, who I do find irritating sometimes are the complaining stay at home moms who could either do what they're doing or work if they wanted to. Many parents who work have to do so to make ends meet unless their spouse has an exceptionally good income and they live in a low cost area.
No. It never ends, it truly is a full time job. I wish I could rest when I'm at home but I cant.
Moms that feel this way raise children that cant do anything for themselves. My mom was working full time by the time I was about 8yo so my sister and I took care of the house and ourselves from then on. We cooked dinner, we cleaned the bathroom, we vacuumed etc....
My sister in law is a stay at home mom and she always complains about not having enough time in the day to get things done. Meanwhile her 5 kids, including her 10yo son and 8yo daughter dont do s**t around the house to help out.
They shouldn't just list it as "stay-home mom," but it absolutely can be on a resume.
Can I list "Stay-home dad"?
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Stay at home moms are OK in my book!
