Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
All it takes is getting stabbed in the back once or twice to realize that you have no friends at work. I was laid off once due to something a coworker passed on to a manager. This coworker called himself my "friend" and we would eat lunch together all the time. I actually overheard him pass on my criticism to management. I overheard another coworker "friend" badmouth me to another coworker. He thought I had left the room.
So no, I don't trust coworkers at all and I don't make friends with them. I'll be reasonably polite to them as long as they treat me well. If they don't, they get ignored.
None of them know where I live, and I've never had any desire to meet with them after work. They are just glorified strangers to me, and I like to keep them at that level.
As the saying goes, I go to work to make money, not friends.
Yes, I have many friends whom I met at work. We had a co-ed softball team, a ski club and
Some of the people I worked with played on the same woman's soccer team that I did.
I used to spend more time with these people than most of my non work friends simply by virtue of working with them. I also traveled with some of them as we had flight benefits.
I've met people at work who've become friends, or very good acquaintances, sure.
Depends on the job, where a person is in their life, what they have going on outside of work, various factors.
It IS hurtful when a person betrays you. And if they DO betray you then they weren't friends whether you met them at work, through family, at school, at church/synagogue, the laundry mat, grocery store, the gym or wherever.
You spend so much time with people at work. For me anyway -- especially if there is some kind of affinity -- it's hard to stay so guarded all the time that you never just be you. I'm a naturally chatty, friendly, curious, happy, personable person -- who doesn't sweat small stuff -- so it's hard for me NOT to let my guard down. But I also have had plenty of coworkers who if you didn't say a word to them, they were just not chatty and literally wouldn't strike up a conversation with a single soul at work. if it's not personal info or interfering with work -- what's the harm in a little pleasant, small talk, watercooler, "did you hear (something-in-the-news)-conversation? I wear my emotions on my sleeve. So people notice if I'm quiet....something must be wrong.
I used to work in an office in which most of the staff in our division were very good friends outside the office, to the point that we would rent a place for the weekend in the mountains or beach to hang out and, that included our boss. I think it very much depends on the work environment and the people. As a manager in my current job I maintain very strict boundaries with the majority of my co-workers. It's a somewhat "toxic" work environment with Union and non Union employees and vastly different than any workplace I have had before. Although I enjoy the work, with the exception of a few folks in my office, I know most are not my friends.
Or do you believe there are boundaries, where work people stay at work, and you find friends who don't work with you?
Why or why not?
I wouldn't use the term "allow". It seems unnecessarily finite and rigid. An example....I used to work in a very small remote town. Everyone who worked at my office lived no farther than a couple of miles from everyone else. We all participated in the same local events, used the same businesses, were seen at the same places off the job. Most of us also did volunteer work at events, for the library, fire department, etc. It would be pretty difficult to shut co-workers out of your entire life here.
Frankly, I don't worry too much about a friendship that happens to develop at work. How we keep the "boundaries" you mentioned is in the way we behave at work versus away from work. I know what belongs in the office and what doesn't. It just doesn't have to be that hard if you are a thoughtful adult.
"Allow" is kind of a weird way to look at things. Either you become friends or not.
Coworkers- we spend a lot of time together, travel, go to meetings, dinners, get drunk... it's normal to become friends with some.
When I was just out of college, I was hired at a call center and got fairly close to a girl that was just 18. Nothing bad ever came of that and I still talk to her occasionally.
At a previous job, I was pretty close with two guys. I've had a falling out with one, but the other I still talk to about every day.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
