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Friends in the sense that we're on Facebook and once in a blue moon (like once every 6 months) we go out for drinks. I have friends and then FRIENDS. I've never had a coworker come over my house and I've never gone over to a coworkers house unless they were throwing a party for a group of us.
I'm a big believer in the saying" Familiarity breeds contempt"
I also never tell anyone anything that I would be afraid of reading on the front page of tomorrow's paper.
There is an innate propensity for people to want power and authority as they age and I've seen many times how what one says will be used against you by people who have an agenda.
I don't care if I come across as "standoffish." I get paid to do a job, not chat and make friends.
i have actually been told i am stand offish at work.
I said exactly what you said here, I am here to do a job, let's talk about my job performance. and my productivity. and the process improvements I have implemented. and my response time to requests. and the projects I took on that nobody else wanted.
just give me a stack of work to do and let me do my job. i like to keep busy. i don't like to chit chat. i don't like drama.
i have also noticed that the people who say someone is "standoffish" are the ones with lousy personal boundaries who want to gossip, or stir up drama, or are inappropriate with touch.
i have actually been told i am stand offish at work.
I said exactly what you said here, I am here to do a job, let's talk about my job performance. and my productivity. and the process improvements I have implemented. and my response time to requests. and the projects I took on that nobody else wanted.
just give me a stack of work to do and let me do my job. i like to keep busy. i don't like to chit chat. i don't like drama.
i have also noticed that the people who say someone is "standoffish" are the ones with lousy personal boundaries who want to gossip, or stir up drama, or are inappropriate with touch.
Same here. A manager at an old job told me I was "not a team player" and "standoffish" because I kept to myself, focused on my job, and didn't socialize. She was a big time gossip queen and somewhat of a bully.
the answer is no. There are some things I let sly at work, only because I get a Salary. I would not let those same things sly off the clock. long story short, friends are made during my school years, in Adult years, co workers, neighbors, those common faces in my child's school are acquaintances. It is harder to trust others Since I am older. after all, I would not be friends with co workers, if we both are competing for a promotion, or a love interest.
Co workers will never have the bond as a true friend. Some co workers put on the mask , as soon as they step foot on the workplace.
Ditto, never had a problem either, but I retired in the Nineties.
My feeling is from observing and listening to people who have become adults in the Eighties or later is that they live in a far different society than I did, even if we technically live in the same country. Paranoia and super-sensitivity reign supreme throughout the culture now, so I can understand why many people would not consider a friendship with a fellow worker.
Or do you believe there are boundaries, where work people stay at work, and you find friends who don't work with you?
Why or why not?
I used to befriend coworkers but I no longer do. This is more due to the changing face of IT and my own place in it.
Used to be that everyone in IT was my age or older. Now most of my coworkers are younger than I am and a greater percentage of them than ever are male and south Asian. Culturally speaking, they're incompatible as friends simply because south Asian men don't really befriend white women and vice versa. Millennials are nice enough at work but they don't seem to like hanging around old farts. There are a few people here around my age or older that I pal around with at work, but other than that I come in, do my job, and leave.
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