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Why do you seem to think there are only two options: "be a drone" or "socialize"? There is a lot of grey area between those extremes. The fact is, the workplace is where you earn money to support your lifestyle. It's not a substitute for friends and family and shouldn't be treated as such. My friends and family generally don't have the power to decide whether I'm going to be able to draw and income tomorrow. It is simply dangerous to blur these lines, but if you're okay with that, it's your choice. Other people shouldn't be shamed for wanting to draw clear boundaries. I'd argue that's the healthy approach.
It is your choice to draw clear boundaries. Theres nothing wrong with that.
I choose to not draw clear boundaries because this approach has served me well in the past.
A few years back, I worked for a company filled with introverts. This is not an exaggeration. There were days when not a single word was uttered by anyone at all. Not even "hi how are you". I'm an extrovert, so you can imagine I was bored out of my head working there. I found myself walking around or go out to lunch often to get away from the introverted crowd.
A few doors down in the same building, I started conversing with this guy I met in the hall way. We started hanging out together. Went out to lunch together all the time. To me, it was a relief from the "you're there to work not to socialize" crowd i was stuck with.
One day, he told me a position just opened in his company and asked if i was interested? I said sure. It turned out he knew the hiring manager for that position. I got the offer letter exactly one week later. They offered me almost twice the salary I had at the time and a company car for unlimited use.
Introverts call it socializing at work. I call it building connections. You never know what opportunities will come up. Why burn bridges before you even build them?
Sure, you could say I talk a lot. I put myself out there and get to know people. I turn over rocks to find opportunities.
I stand by what I said before. We spend most of the day at work. Why make life miserable for everyone? Why not have fun with the job and at the same time keep an eye open for new opportunities?
Added by edit.
I should also add that the new job with the new much higher salary made it possible for my husband to quit his job and go back to college. I was able to pay for his college, the house, and everything else while he concentrated on his studies. He just graduated this past december and got an awesome job with high salary.
In other words, me talking a lot and being outgoing completely changed our lives for the better. I keep thinking back had I been an office drone like everyone else in that company I was in I never would have met that guy who eventually brought me into his company and changed our lives completely.
Just saying.
Last edited by MetroWord; 08-29-2018 at 10:03 AM..
Aaaaah. I didn't know you were an extrovert. Makes sense. "Introvert" doesn't mean you don't like socializing with people. I think that's a common misperception. I'm introverted, but I also speak to people at work and believe in building connections. Relationship-building is actually very important to me. I just don't like engaging in most surface-level discussions. Which is why I don't necessarily get on board with most of the discussions in the workplace. It's superficial stuff that doesn't interest me, so I'd rather be working. I don't expect anyone to pour their heart out in the workplace (please don't ), but if I gather you're just fishing for gossip I will disengage. And not feel bad about it!
Aaaaah. I didn't know you were an extrovert. Makes sense. "Introvert" doesn't mean you don't like socializing with people. I think that's a common misperception. I'm introverted, but I also speak to people at work and believe in building connections. Relationship-building is actually very important to me. I just don't like engaging in most surface-level discussions. Which is why I don't necessarily get on board with most of the discussions in the workplace. It's superficial stuff that doesn't interest me, so I'd rather be working. I don't expect anyone to pour their heart out in the workplace (please don't ), but if I gather you're just fishing for gossip I will disengage. And not feel bad about it!
Haha ok. I must admit there is ulterior motive on my part. I don't like to be surprised by anything. I want to know about everything that goes on in the company. For example, person A hasn't been managing the project on site. Something went wrong. Impending lawsuit. When the dust settles, there is opportunity to fill in void. Etc. You just don't get to know all the details about these things by burying your head in work work work.
I'm not saying office gossip is good. But we all know it happens. I'd rather know about these things than keep my head in the sand.
It is the people. I had a very bad string of horrific managers, 4 of them in a consecutive row. Each corporate job was worse than the previous. I was beginning to think maybe I was the problem. Since 2014 I have changed careers twice, and had excellent managers that do not manage me. I tend to thrive when left on my own. I understand some people need managing, but that never works out for me. In my latest line of work I am pretty much on my own anyway.
It is the people. I had a very bad string of horrific managers, 4 of them in a consecutive row. Each corporate job was worse than the previous. I was beginning to think maybe I was the problem. Since 2014 I have changed careers twice, and had excellent managers that do not manage me. I tend to thrive when left on my own. I understand some people need managing, but that never works out for me. In my latest line of work I am pretty much on my own anyway.
I've had a string of micromanagers in the past as well. The problem with micromanagers is they have some kind of mental block that prevents them from understanding that different people have different strengths and ways of doing things. I'm not talking about company procedural things. I'm talking about the way we do research, make calculations, individual methods at doing things.
I had a manager that would not let me type up my reports. He was an old guy who had a distrust of computers. He made all of us handwrite everything. No excel as well. It took considerably longer than normal to do anything, especially with repetitive calculations. Couldn't use excel. And he would hover over us and not allow us to use electronic versions of our references where we could do keyword searches. No. He wanted us to use the actual books.
Now that I'm a manager, I tell all my people just use whatever methods of research they want. I care about results, not how they get there. I also tell them I believe in the path with least resistance. And if someone knows a better way than my way of doing things, show me and I'll approve it if it actually is better.
I've had a string of micromanagers in the past as well. The problem with micromanagers is they have some kind of mental block that prevents them from understanding that different people have different strengths and ways of doing things.
The mental block is: "My way is the right way." They believe they're right by virtue of the authority bestowed upon them. This mentality actually highlights why they shouldn't be in management. As you stated, a manager's job is to assess strengths and weaknesses and determine how to maximize the talents of personnel using all those variables. Micromangers, in my experience, aren't capable of abstract and higher-level thinking.
The mental block is: "My way is the right way." They believe they're right by virtue of the authority bestowed upon them. This mentality actually highlights why they shouldn't be in management. As you stated, a manager's job is to assess strengths and weaknesses and determine how to maximize the talents of personnel using all those variables. Micromangers, in my experience, aren't capable of abstract and higher-level thinking.
But on the otherhand you have people who are ineffecive and need managing. The guy I replaced probably needed someone to manage him becuse he did nothing for 15 plus years on the job.
[quote=jobaba;52814266]
On top of that, the guy next to you makes 12 widgets a week somehow and is witty and people love him.
/QUOTE]
Your example applies to factory work, which is mindless work, and I can't imagine anyone being happy doing that. As for those who went to college and don't do factory work, I personally have never worked in an environment where it is a nightmare. There are many reasons for this. I clearly researched companies before working there and had good mentors. I was advised on how to look for a job, how to check out a company, how and what questions to ask. People too often put themselves in a position where it is all about making themselves look acceptable to be hired, without thinking this is a two-way street. An employer has to have something else to offer than a paycheck, because they all offer paychecks. Bad parenting, poor choice of college, and not asking people who already have had those jobs for many years about their experiences is the real problem. If you major in accounting, the first time you meet and talk with a CPA should be while you are a student in college, not after you get hired. I didn't just take courses in college and just be concerned about the grades, I wanted to know what it was like to work at some of those places each day. If you don't plan, and think ahead you are going leave things to chance, and chances are great without a plan you are going to be unhappy. This is just like the people who don't plan, save and invest for their retirement and then complain about how they can never retire. I don't know where people got the idea they were promised great jobs without going to college and taking the job research seriously, and be prepared.
It is the people. I had a very bad string of horrific managers, 4 of them in a consecutive row. Each corporate job was worse than the previous. I was beginning to think maybe I was the problem. Since 2014 I have changed careers twice, and had excellent managers that do not manage me. I tend to thrive when left on my own. I understand some people need managing, but that never works out for me. In my latest line of work I am pretty much on my own anyway.
But what did you learn from that experience? Do you know how to evaluate companies and hiring managers before you accept a position with them? That's really key. Otherwise you continue to repeat the same mistakes. I have asked questions, and if the answers weren't good, then I didn't pursue the position any further. I think people have too much of a sports mentality that they need to "win" the job, when they don't even look very closely at what they are winning.
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There is a lot of grey area between those extremes. The fact is, the workplace is where you earn money to support your lifestyle. It's not a substitute for friends and family and shouldn't be treated as such. My friends and family generally don't have the power to decide whether I'm going to be able to draw and income tomorrow. It is simply dangerous to blur these lines, but if you're okay with that, it's your choice. Other people shouldn't be shamed for wanting to draw clear boundaries. I'd argue that's the healthy approach.
I don't expect anyone to pour their heart out in the workplace (please don't 
