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This train is coming down the tracks and I'm not sure OP sees it. OP, if you don't comply with the unreasonable request to work more hours and do more work at home, you're going to get a bad performance review. The bad review is meant to discredit you and start the process to get rid of you from this employer. It's probably retaliation for the complaint. Get started on your job search and plan your escape before your departure is planned for you.
From my old fart perspective, I suggest that you would have been better off addressing these crude comments directly.
The strong women I've known in my life would have said something like "Whoa buster, that kind of language/comment won't fly here. You need to clean it up." And the offending male would have slunk off with his tail between his legs, and he would not have repeated it.
You don't run straight to the authorities every time someone does something off-color.
Weren't you ever a kid? What happened to snitches on the schoolyard?
If addressing offensive behavior directly, repeatedly, does not help, after repeat incidences, then you CONSIDER whether to get the authorities (HR, in this case) involved.
Remember that HR is there to make sure the company does not get in trouble, not to re-engineer your boss' personality.
Again, I think you need to sit down with an older woman that you respect and will listen to, and run through this, and listen to her comments and advice. Someone strong and tough.
If what OP states happened, this goes beyond crude remarks. Asking her if she wants to share a hotel room is not only not appropriate it is grounds to fire this guy and most companies would have fired him. The comment about size is inappropriate but can be dealt with by telling him it isn't appreciated. The asking her to go visit apartments with him is also not appropriate, especially during work hours but asking her about how to go about finding an apartment and where the good ones are is not inappropriate though perhaps sharing too much information. I wonder if the boss is the owner and this is a small company. If so, OP's only option is really to leave. It will only get worse.
Note to OP, staying late is not uncommon in salaried positions. In your next position don't immediately pack up and leave at the end of the day. Wait to see others leave then you can slowly pack up and leave. Arrive at least 10-15 min early to get your desk in order.
Grrreeeeeaaaat advice....especially if the offending male is your boss - he won't be slinking off anywhere.
HR IS the kiss of death but don't act like things always work out great if you "just" talk the the person who's your superior directly.
I beg to differ. It depends on the size of the company, maybe, but in my husband's former company (retired) if anyone made any of these statements and a woman went to HR to complain I can guarantee that this person would be fired immediately. I do believe a woman needs to be careful in what they report to HR because this person's job is at risk so if it is something that can be handled by a come to Jesus meeting with the perp/boss and all such talk stops then let it go; however, the one thing I am seriously concerned here on OP's story is the asking if she wants to share rooms. While this might be company policy for two of the same sex, it is never the policy for opposite sexes. Never ever, never. Yes, the HR's job is to protect the company and any male who makes sexual overtures to female staff hurts the company because one never knows if the complaining female or females as the case may be will go to the state boards and file a formal complaint. Therefore, HR will or should take action in most larger companies. In larger companies, the HR manager is usually the one wanting to fire, it is up to the boss of that person who tries to defend and not get them fired.
Grrreeeeeaaaat advice....especially if the offending male is your boss - he won't be slinking off anywhere.
HR IS the kiss of death but don't act like things always work out great if you "just" talk the the person who's your superior directly.
Well, what's your better advice?
She ran straight off to HR and now she's on everyone's spit list.
If she had stood up to the guy when he started being off-color, he could well have decided he needed to behave himself, in which case things would have gotten better. If she had stood up to the guy he could have decided to run her off, which is the case now anyway.
So, 100% chance of being run off, versus less than 100% chance of being run off. I know which I would have chosen.
But beyond that is the issue of self-respect. In my opinion, no grown woman should tolerate those kinds of off-color remarks if she is offended by them. Period. I can tell you that if my mother, grandmother, or aunt had been subjected to those comments, any one of them would have told the offender to stop it in no uncertain terms, no matter who the person was. Period. If they lost their job over it they would have said "well, that's just tough for me, but there are some things a person doesn't stand for."
I started this position at my current job about 5 months ago and it's been fine so far, nothing special but it's the highest paid job I've had so far (I'm 25).
Anyways, my working hours are 8:00 - 4:30 (I am supposed to take a 30 minute lunch, but I usually just end up working while I eat). Even before and after I get home from work, I am still responding to some work emails on my phone (which I'll count on my time sheet even though I am salaried).
When I got into work yesterday, my boss told me that 'things are all about perception' and has asked me to stay until at least 5, if not longer. He then went on to say that a new (as in started 3 weeks ago) business development 'higher-up' noticed that me leaving at 4:30 just means that I am apparently not busy enough... Even though I have great time management skills and am able to do all my work in the allotted 8 hours while at work.
I was then asked if I could start working 9 - 11 hours every day, and then asked me to start taking on more responsibilities (I just checked out my job description (I can find it on our ATS, and the job description is only about 50% of what I actually do).
So not only do they want me to work 3 extra hours every day, just for "perception", they also want me to start doing way more than what I was originally told I'd be doing. So I'm not very happy.
I know that I've only been here for 5 months, but it would be outlandish for me to ask for some kind of raise, right? I just am not happy that I'm gonna be asked to stay for a couple hours longer (when I'll just be BSing, since I won't have any work to do). Am I also being unreasonable for thinking this is just absurd? Don't you just LOVE American Corporate Culture!!
I just got into work today and my boss said I need to do work/reports over the weekend so it's done by Monday... Now I don't even get weekends to myself without work
I will say that most states require employers to give you a half hour lunch after so many hours of work (6 I believe). It doesn't have to be paid, but it must be in addition to your 8 hours. If the state looked at your hours, it doesn't appear you are getting the 30 minute lunch because you are not at your workplace for 8 1/2 hours. At my workplace, if we work less than 6 hours we don't have to take lunch, but over 6 and we have no choice but to add that 30 minutes to our day, even though we all eat during our lunch too. Your employer could get in trouble if you aren't taking the required 30 minute break. I am guessing they just want to make sure you are there the 8 1/2 hours you are required to be there.
What do your co-workers do? Do they generally work beyond the required 8 1/2 hours?
I beg to differ. It depends on the size of the company, maybe, but in my husband's former company (retired) if anyone made any of these statements and a woman went to HR to complain I can guarantee that this person would be fired immediately. I do believe a woman needs to be careful in what they report to HR because this person's job is at risk so if it is something that can be handled by a come to Jesus meeting with the perp/boss and all such talk stops then let it go; however, the one thing I am seriously concerned here on OP's story is the asking if she wants to share rooms. While this might be company policy for two of the same sex, it is never the policy for opposite sexes. Never ever, never. Yes, the HR's job is to protect the company and any male who makes sexual overtures to female staff hurts the company because one never knows if the complaining female or females as the case may be will go to the state boards and file a formal complaint. Therefore, HR will or should take action in most larger companies. In larger companies, the HR manager is usually the one wanting to fire, it is up to the boss of that person who tries to defend and not get them fired.
The reason my boss asked about sharing a room was because he was 'thinking about saving the company money'...
I will say that most states require employers to give you a half hour lunch after so many hours of work (6 I believe). It doesn't have to be paid, but it must be in addition to your 8 hours. If the state looked at your hours, it doesn't appear you are getting the 30 minute lunch because you are not at your workplace for 8 1/2 hours. At my workplace, if we work less than 6 hours we don't have to take lunch, but over 6 and we have no choice but to add that 30 minutes to our day, even though we all eat during our lunch too. Your employer could get in trouble if you aren't taking the required 30 minute break. I am guessing they just want to make sure you are there the 8 1/2 hours you are required to be there.
What do your co-workers do? Do they generally work beyond the required 8 1/2 hours?
A lot of them either work from home or on customer sites, but I usually come in before everyone, therefore I leave before them, so I'm not sure when they leave to go home
If what OP states happened, this goes beyond crude remarks. Asking her if she wants to share a hotel room is not only not appropriate it is grounds to fire this guy and most companies would have fired him. The comment about size is inappropriate but can be dealt with by telling him it isn't appreciated. The asking her to go visit apartments with him is also not appropriate, especially during work hours but asking her about how to go about finding an apartment and where the good ones are is not inappropriate though perhaps sharing too much information. I wonder if the boss is the owner and this is a small company. If so, OP's only option is really to leave. It will only get worse.
Note to OP, staying late is not uncommon in salaried positions. In your next position don't immediately pack up and leave at the end of the day. Wait to see others leave then you can slowly pack up and leave. Arrive at least 10-15 min early to get your desk in order.
When HR talked to me after they talked to my boss, they said he, 'felt terrible and didn't mean any harm' and just 'wanted to save the company money' when he offered to share the hotel room... When I talked to them, it really didn't sound like they were going to do anything to my boss besides just tell my boss' boss what happened... It just seems like they were gonna record it and that was that.
It just surprises me that in today's day-and-age with the climate we have with sexual harassment, that my company wouldn't take it more seriously than they did. Seems like they're trying to sweet it under the rug
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