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Old 03-08-2013, 10:01 PM
 
Location: New Mexico U.S.A.
26,527 posts, read 51,986,901 times
Reputation: 31336

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The topic of this thread is "Do you ever hear about members who have passed?"

This discussion is not about shutting off an individuals e-mail.

No one at City-Data assumes that an individual has passed away. Any deaths of an individual is verified, if it needs to be.

Members may be listed as Eternal Members if there passing away is verified.
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Old 03-08-2013, 10:07 PM
 
Location: NJ
17,573 posts, read 46,279,767 times
Reputation: 16283
I quoted someone who posted a link to a service that tells people when you die. That is what I was referring to, not CD.
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Old 03-09-2013, 12:49 AM
 
43,011 posts, read 108,388,453 times
Reputation: 30736
I just read every profile Marka listed, along with the comments left for them.

I cried big ugly tears, the kind where my nose is running and my sinuses will be hurting tomorrow. My hound became concerned, came over and smelled my tears. In the 10 years he has been living with us, he has never seen me cry.

I love the eternal member designation. What a great idea, a great tribute.

When I was an administrator of a very active forum, we had a member commit suicide. Many of us were close with him, some of the members talked to him in real life. There were warnings. I felt responsible. I felt like I should have notified the authorities. I still feel responsible. I wish I had thought of eternal member.

Kudos to City Data for being a class act.
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Old 03-09-2013, 11:15 AM
 
Location: Marshall-Shadeland, Pittsburgh, PA
32,633 posts, read 77,875,137 times
Reputation: 19113
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopes View Post
I just read every profile Marka listed, along with the comments left for them.

I cried big ugly tears, the kind where my nose is running and my sinuses will be hurting tomorrow. My hound became concerned, came over and smelled my tears. In the 10 years he has been living with us, he has never seen me cry.

I love the eternal member designation. What a great idea, a great tribute.

When I was an administrator of a very active forum, we had a member commit suicide. Many of us were close with him, some of the members talked to him in real life. There were warnings. I felt responsible. I felt like I should have notified the authorities. I still feel responsible. I wish I had thought of eternal member.

Kudos to City Data for being a class act.
I joined this sub-forum back in mid-2006, and MoMark instantly became one of my best friends on here. I was absolutely devastated when I learned of his untimely passing. I believe he may have been our first "Eternal Member". Even for those who haven't been dubbed "eternal members" I still always do worry when they take very long and unexplained hiatuses from our forum (there's one very intelligent "regular" on the Pittsburgh sub-forum who's been AWOL for months now). The people whom we interact with on here on a daily basis do eventually feel like family to us---albeit often more contentious and dysfunctional in nature.

As someone who has seriously considered suicide in the past (not that long ago in 2010) I would like to advise you to never "feel responsible", Hopes. I was in a highly unstable frame of mind but tried my best to keep it clandestine due to how stigmatized those with mental illnesses are in American society. If not for my strict Christian upbringing that indoctrined us to believe those who committed suicide were automatically hellbound I probably would have ended my life in 2010. Suicide is a permanent solution to temporary problems. I was facing a multitude of overwhelming adversities simultaneously, felt trapped, and saw that as my primary "escape". Now that I've powered through that I feel more resilient than ever and rarely even get sick because my body "fights" everything off. You're not at fault, Hopes. Part of my severe depression resulted from my diagnosis as having "White Knight Syndrome" (a.k.a. "Savior Complex") in which I drained myself tirelessly to force myself to "save" others from themselves (whether or not they had asked for my assistance). This debilitated me to the point I had no strength left to fight all of my hardships that befell me when I lived in VA.

Do yourself a favor and realize that even if you DO spot "warning signs" of suicidal tendencies you still very often can't prevent someone from making such a disastrous decision to end their own life.
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Old 03-09-2013, 11:45 AM
 
43,011 posts, read 108,388,453 times
Reputation: 30736
Quote:
Originally Posted by SteelCityRising View Post
Do yourself a favor and realize that even if you DO spot "warning signs" of suicidal tendencies you still very often can't prevent someone from making such a disastrous decision to end their own life.
I just felt that if I had notified authorities, he could have been locked away for observation and gotten help. The reality is I didn't even know how to notify authorities. This was years ago, and I doubt authorities had a handle on how to quickly identify people online. They probably wouldn't have even bothered. I didn't know that other forum members talked to him IRL on the phone until after he died. That's how we found out. His sister called one of the forum members. I know deep down I wasn't responsible. It makes me sad to this day. He was a great guy going through a difficult time. The world is better with people like him in it.

Enough. I don't mean to make this thread about what I went through. I just thought "eternal member" was an awesome concept.
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Old 03-11-2013, 12:01 PM
 
Location: Mayacama Mtns in CA
14,520 posts, read 8,801,393 times
Reputation: 11356
Quote:
Originally Posted by gentlearts View Post
You have left out Just Plain Al, a frequent poster in the GA, Savannah section.
Gentlearts, you might want to send a DM to Marka about this; she will see it sooner if you contact her directly. Just a suggestion.
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Old 03-11-2013, 03:23 PM
 
Location: Mid-Atlantic
33,055 posts, read 36,707,291 times
Reputation: 44028
Quote:
Originally Posted by himain View Post
OMG I had no idea LaceyEX died...RIP-She always had such good words
I didn't realise that MoMark was gone!
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Old 06-01-2015, 05:09 AM
 
4,658 posts, read 3,677,736 times
Reputation: 1345
https://www.city-data.com/forum/membe...unter-326.html

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Old 06-01-2015, 06:00 AM
 
27,955 posts, read 39,940,252 times
Reputation: 26197
Quote:
Originally Posted by GR1138769 View Post
A lot of people are going to miss him. He was one of the better ones around here.
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