Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > U.S. Forums > Alaska > Anchorage
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 12-31-2014, 12:40 AM
 
421 posts, read 411,539 times
Reputation: 832

Advertisements

New Year Resolutions for Pets

15. I will not eat other animals' poop.

14. I will not lick my human's face after eating animal poop.

13. I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table.

12. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.

11. I will no longer be beholden to the sound of the can opener.

10. Cats: Circulate a petition that sleeping become a juried competition in major animal shows.

9. Come to understand that cats are from Venus; dogs are from Mars.

8. Take time from busy schedule to stop and smell the behinds.

7. Hamster: Don't let them figure out I'm just a rat on steroids, or they'll flush me!

6. Get a bite in on that freak who gives me that shot every year.

5. Grow opposable thumb; break into pantry; decide for MYSELF how much food is *too* much.

4. Cats: Use new living room sofa as scratching post.

3. January 1st: Kill the sock! Must kill the sock!
January 2nd - December 31: Re-live victory over the sock.

2. The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff.

AND the Number 1 New Year's Resolutions Made by Pets...

1. I will NOT chase the stick until I see it LEAVE THE IDIOT'S HAND
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 12-31-2014, 11:35 AM
 
Location: Naptowne, Alaska
15,603 posts, read 39,853,519 times
Reputation: 14891
Whats the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?

Snowballs.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 12-31-2014, 11:44 AM
 
Location: North Eastern, WA
2,136 posts, read 2,314,649 times
Reputation: 1738
Quote:
1. I will NOT chase the stick until I see it LEAVE THE IDIOT'S HAND
Hey, who are you calling an idiot?!?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-01-2015, 04:51 AM
 
421 posts, read 411,539 times
Reputation: 832
Ha! That is funny! Idiot is infractionable!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-08-2015, 07:40 AM
 
1,302 posts, read 1,579,814 times
Reputation: 2777
The Pilot is not Always Right

Even if you weren't in the service you can appreciate this one.

A US Air Force C-130 was scheduled to leave Thule Air Base, Greenland, at midnight during a winter month. During the pilot's pre-flight check, he discovers that the latrine holding tank is still full from the last flight.

So a message is sent to the base and an airman who was off duty is called out to take care of it.

The young man finally gets to the air base and makes his way to the aircraft only to find that the latrine pump-truck has been left outdoors and is frozen solid, so he must find another one in the hangar, which takes even more time.

He returns to the aircraft and is less than enthusiastic about what he has to do.
Nevertheless, he goes about the pumping job deliberately and carefully (and
slowly) so as not to risk criticism later.


As he's leaving the plane, the pilot stops him and says, 'Son, your attitude and performance has caused this flight to be late and I'm going to personally see to it that you are not just reprimanded but punished.'

Shivering in the cold, his task finished, he takes a deep breath, stands tall and says, 'Sir, with all due respect, I'm not your son; I'm an Airman in the United States Air Force. I've been in Thule, Greenland, for 11 months without any leave, and reindeer's asses are beginning to look pretty good to me. I have one stripe; it's 2:30 in the morning, the temperature is 40 degrees below zero, and my job here is to pump **** out of an aircraft. Now, just exactly what form of punishment did you have in mind?'
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-08-2015, 09:19 AM
 
Location: Back and Beyond
2,993 posts, read 4,310,718 times
Reputation: 7220
A few weeks ago I lost my watch at a bar in Anchorage, I noticed it an hour later on the ground but a guy was standing on it. I tried to get it but he was all over the place trying to dance with this girl. When the woman made it clear that she was not interested in him, he slapped her. That's when I knocked him out and grabbed it off the ground. No one hits a woman. Not on my watch.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-08-2015, 11:00 AM
 
Location: Back and Beyond
2,993 posts, read 4,310,718 times
Reputation: 7220


This is all in good fun and no disrespect meant to people in anchorage!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-12-2015, 11:03 PM
 
4,715 posts, read 10,528,319 times
Reputation: 2186
I don't take offense 6.7Traveler...
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-14-2015, 08:56 AM
 
Location: North Eastern, WA
2,136 posts, read 2,314,649 times
Reputation: 1738
Quote:
Originally Posted by 6.7traveler View Post

This is all in good fun and no disrespect meant to people in anchorage!
No offense taken, been in Alaska fort 38+ years, 35+ in Anchorage. LOVE Alaska, Anchorage is a turd!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 01-15-2015, 09:23 PM
 
421 posts, read 411,539 times
Reputation: 832
Q: What did the big furry hat say to the warm wooly scarf?
A: "You hang around while I go on ahead."




http://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=...332078DEE58C09










Last edited by portlandphi; 01-15-2015 at 09:41 PM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:


Settings
X
Data:
Loading data...
Based on 2000-2022 data
Loading data...

123
Hide US histogram


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > U.S. Forums > Alaska > Anchorage

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top