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Location: In a little house on the prairie - literally
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A man dies and meets St. Peter at the pearly gates. St. Pete tells him in order to get in he has to have earned 300 points.
Man: Okay, so how do I know how many points I have?
Peter: Well, tell me what you did with your life?
Man: Let’s see, I taught Sunday School and served as a deacon in my church for 50 years. I brought food to the widows and visited the homebound for many years.
Peter: Wow, that’s great! That’s one point.
Man: One point?! Uh, okay. Well, let’s see. I obeyed all the traffic laws, never stole anything in my life, always told the truth, and stayed faithful to my wife our entire marriage. I raised our children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, and they’re all happily married and have good kids of their own now.
Peter: That’s wonderful! That’s another point. Now you have two.
Man: (Gulp) Okay. Um. Well, I also tithed 10% of every dollar I made, I led several clothing drives, I paid my taxes on time, and prayed every day of my adult life. I read the Bible every day. I witnessed to hundreds of people and led several people to the Lord.
Peter: Awesome! That’s three points. Only 297 left to go.
Man: Shoot, there’s no way then! It’s only by the grace of God anybody will get in there!
Peter: That’s 297 points. Come on in.
(I can just see it now, fundies will shout "Amen", atheists will actually get the irony.)
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