Should I move back to Boston? (Cambridge, Harvard: apartment, for rent, countertops)

[Mcginty74]

Dear Boston,

I'm sorry I left you five months ago. I was a fool. Will you take me back? I promise I'll be yours forever.

Yours always,

McGinty74

TO THE READERS: I moved to Boston straight out of college, thinking I'd be there for a couple of years on my way to bigger and better things. That was 20 years ago. This past September, I finally left, ending up in Raleigh-Durham, North Carolina, where I have friends and family and plans to launch a business (I had the same community-based business in Cambridge and did extremely well).

WHY DID I LEAVE? Three reasons: (1) Terrible weather (2) Unfriendly, guarded culture (3) Insane cost of living. And the other, unofficial fourth reason: I desperately needed a change.

Now I'm in North Carolina, and I am finding that replicating the business success I had in Cambridge is going to take a lot of time, like a couple of years, and I didn't come with enough funding for that. It's got me thinking if this area is really where I want to be, as it's a rather dull, small Southern city without a lot of personality.

I've gotten hit hard with homesickness for Boston the last month or so. I hadn't realized until I moved to a quiet city with not much happening, how truly vibrant Boston is. I miss the energy, the food, the architecture, the subway, the seasons... I miss being able to walk everywhere. I miss the Charles. I even miss the perpetually grumpy people.

When I think about driving into Boston again, and getting out of the car, and hearing all the city sounds, and smelling the Boston air, I want to weep with joy and excitement.

This is the feeling I've been struggling against every day.

My old landlord in Cambridge told me last week that he has an apartment for rent, and has said he will hold it for me, if I'm interested. It's in my favorite neighborhood, between Harvard and Central, where you can literally walk anywhere.

I'm so tempted to say YES!!! and step back into my old Boston life, get my business going again, and basically pick up where I left off.

But I wonder... would I be making a mistake to move back to a city I said goodbye to very deliberately, five months ago? Boston didn't suddenly get great weather, affordable living and friendly people in the time I've been gone. All of those things are still there, and they will still drive me nuts, no doubt.

Would love some insight from other commenters.

[Whatsnext75]

what kind of work did you do in Cambridge?

[LIS123]

Originally Posted by Mcginty74

Dear Boston,

I'm sorry I left you five months ago. I was a fool. Will you take me back? I promise I'll be yours forever.

Yours always,

McGinty74

TO THE READERS: I moved to Boston straight out of college, thinking I'd be there for a couple of years on my way to bigger and better things. That was 20 years ago. This past September, I finally left, ending up in Raleigh-Durham, North Carolina, where I have friends and family and plans to launch a business (I had the same community-based business in Cambridge and did extremely well).

WHY DID I LEAVE? Three reasons: (1) Terrible weather (2) Unfriendly, guarded culture (3) Insane cost of living. And the other, unofficial fourth reason: I desperately needed a change.

Now I'm in North Carolina, and I am finding that replicating the business success I had in Cambridge is going to take a lot of time, like a couple of years, and I didn't come with enough funding for that. It's got me thinking if this area is really where I want to be, as it's a rather dull, small Southern city without a lot of personality.

I've gotten hit hard with homesickness for Boston the last month or so. I hadn't realized until I moved to a quiet city with not much happening, how truly vibrant Boston is. I miss the energy, the food, the architecture, the subway, the seasons... I miss being able to walk everywhere. I miss the Charles. I even miss the perpetually grumpy people.

When I think about driving into Boston again, and getting out of the car, and hearing all the city sounds, and smelling the Boston air, I want to weep with joy and excitement.

This is the feeling I've been struggling against every day.

My old landlord in Cambridge told me last week that he has an apartment for rent, and has said he will hold it for me, if I'm interested. It's in my favorite neighborhood, between Harvard and Central, where you can literally walk anywhere.

I'm so tempted to say YES!!! and step back into my old Boston life, get my business going again, and basically pick up where I left off.

But I wonder... would I be making a mistake to move back to a city I said goodbye to very deliberately, five months ago? Boston didn't suddenly get great weather, affordable living and friendly people in the time I've been gone. All of those things are still there, and they will still drive me nuts, no doubt.

Would love some insight from other commenters.

Would your business still be vibrant and successful if you return to Cambridge after having left?

If so and you're able to meet your obligations, it would be something to seriously consider.

That said, you may want to give it a little more time as the frustrations you had with Boston are still present. People tent to look forward to moving b/c there is some novelty about a new place (and the 'grass is always greener' theory).

I moved from Cambridge (Alewife) to NYC in November and was excited to make the move, as NYC is more vibrant, has better dining, better social scene, etc. That said, the reality of living here is not as great in light of the cost, filth, taxes, etc. I can't say I miss Boston per se (only lived there 11 months) but (now that I've left) can say it's not as bad as I thought. Even though it's expensive and is a blue state, it actually offers a combination of vibrant economy without the overwhelming COL and taxes of NYC, bay area, etc.

[kingeorge]

If you can afford it yes! You are maybe in the middle of small middle age crisis where change was do or die.

NC has weather over MA but that is about it for me. Can you comfortably own in NC? Could you really imagine settling for good there? What about your dating and social life there vs. here? Where is your quality of living higher, and by quality I do not mean bigger place, granite countertops and stainless steel fridge? Those never make people happy in the long run.

You are very lucky to have an opportunity for available apartment to move back here, it might not be possible to have this benefit two years later, and therefore do not make this decision lightly.

Most people freak out in the first year of moving, and trick is to know if you are having second thoughts for very valid reasons, or just because you are still adjusting and can not stop comparing.

In general, wherever you go, there you are.

Good luck.

[pikabike]

Reason #1 will remain.
Reason #2 will be slow to change, if at all.
Reason #3 will be worse as the population crunch gets crunchier.
Reason #4 will give you two changes if you move back. Not sure if that is good.

Yet, when you're homesick, there is no explaining things. If you love it, you love it, warts and all. Twenty years is enough to know you can tolerate the warts so that you may savor the good parts. OTOH, you thought you would only stay in Boston for a couple of years.

It also sounds like your worry about not having enough funding to establish your business in NC over the time you need is keeping you from even trying or seeing what is great about your new home.

[snatale1]

Depends on what your going for, being home sick can like being in love, it disables all logic in your brain and makes you do things that totally defy common sense. Obviously Boston costs a LOT more than the Raleigh area, to the point where the increased pay rates (or rates you can charge when self employed) don't wash it out. Me personally being that far South I think would get to me. I live in Richmond now, but here has TONS of New Englanders, not that many real Southern Accents in and around the city at least , same chains etc. The culture shock just isn't there. I think that kind of stuff can help drive home sickness. I'm also still in MA all the time so that may have something to do with why I don't miss it. My last year in MA I was working as an area supervisor for a Comcast contracting company and I made just under 100k, I strugled to pay bills and my rent on my crappy apt in West Roxbury. I've switched careers and now I'm a CDL truck driver. I make about $55k a year now and the wife makes a little more than that, With that less money We have new cars, a nice colonial in the burbs 10 minutes from downtown where my wife works, and money in the bank. That was NOT happening in MA, not while living in the Boston area at least. Could we move back and make it, sure, but at what cost? Before you move back think to why you left, most people leave because of it being so over priced. That's only gotten worse and it's not stopping. If you do move back make sure you crunch all the numbers and think it out long term.

[Dm84]

I don't think 5 months is enough time to determine whether you really love a place. That said everything you ran away from in Boston is only getting worse.

[aubin]

I'm in a similar situation, having left Boston six months ago after living there for 8 years and now I'm deeply regretting the move. The homesickness is intense. Unlike you though, I had made peace with the evils (high rent, terrible winters, unfriendly people) before I left and left only because I got an incredible job offer that was a career game changer. Luckily, my job contract is temporary so I will probably return to Boston in a year or two. But the real issue is how you will feel about those evils that haven't (and won't) change? Maybe do a pros/cons list for Boston and North Carolina and really try to match up how you feel about each place and what the longer term business outcomes look like. Figure out what the deal breakers are and rank them in order (i.e., does vibrant city life rank above affordability? Does comfort and familiarity rank above creating new networks? Does expanded business opportunities rank above everything else or are you willing to shift career focus if necessary?) If Boston still looks good, then take a visit back, now while it's still cold and miserable, and see how it feels.

[pikabike]

Thinking decades back to when I left the Boston area for CO, the first few months did have me wondering if I had made a huge mistake. Although I brought savings to last through a long spell of job hunting, and although I did not miss Boston's crowding or weather or high COL, and although I did not have strong family ties, there IS something about Boston that gets under your skin. It is a unique place with strong personality.

But I knew I had left my birthplace home for good, enduring reasons. I found work, fell in love with mtn biking (I was already a hardcore road rider) and other local goodies, and moved to an apartment well west of the city that was darned near perfect for me. Next I flew back to visit MA. Upon my return, when I saw the beautiful sunshine on golden foothills undulating at my new home, I knew it really was home.

The first day I was back in the office, a coworker who had moved from upstate NY years earlier said, "You have to go back after about a year to see if you made the right decision."

[bjimmy24]

5 months is not long enough. Making a big move is never immediately perfect. I HATED Boston during my first year here. Now everything is fine and I feel at home. The first two years anywhere really have a lot of ups and downs, don't be too discouraged.