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Diet is a non issue. Chefs everywhere, working with the onsite dietician, can prepare any food to meet any requirements.
Living with family is a really bad idea, as you have discovered.
Cost of assisted living will be in the neighborhood of $3-4,000 per month, depending.
Cost of in home aids runs about $75,000 per year for each eight hour shift, or roughly $225,000 per year for 24 hour care, depending.
Either way, it is time to turn things over to the professionals. At ninety, the challenges ahead will increase, not decline.
At your quoted figures, $75K a year (for an 8 hour shift)..
That's $36 / hour, assuming a 40 hour work week.
Where on earth are AIDES (not nurses, not PT, not specialists) making $36/hour?
A lot of people would be *LINING UP!* to be aides if that was the pay.
(and yet they are chronically understaffed, because *NO ONE* is making $36/hour)
Generally speaking, at $20ish an hour (in this area, it is about $25 an hour through an agency, MUCH MUCH less, if you are paying someone directly) - that'd be about $42K/year.
(8 hour day, 40 hour week, 52 weeks in a year)
Also, if someone needs 24 hour assistance (which, it sounds like this person doesn't necessarily) - then assisted living isn't going to do anything, because assisted living doesn't cover 24 hour assistance. It just covers meals, some light housekeeping, and maybe some transportation. Which means the family would have to pay the assisted living rent (room/board) and *then* pay for 24 hour aides on top of that... Which would be way more expensive than having her in one of their homes (because that's a separate room/board fee).
Assisted living of about $4K a month sounds reasonable, I just doubt it'd do much for this family.
Also - just saw your comment that "chefs everywhere can accommodate". Institutions only care about the bottom line - and the bottom line is that 100 identical plates of gruel is easier than dealing with some troublemaker's specific dietary request.
We've had posters in this forum who've had no end of trouble managing dietary concerns for their loved ones in institutional care. It is ridiculously difficult to manage if you're not the one providing the food. Nearly impossible, actually.
Institutionalizing a loved one is not near the "easy fix" that people make it out to be. It may provide some help, it may open up a whole host of other problems.
Last edited by Briolat21; 03-22-2018 at 11:25 AM..
Reason: added additional statements
Ha! Perhaps, but only to the extent that they can stay out of the urine-stenched (yes, I know stenched is not a word) managed care facility (Have your priced those?) We can get away. That's why I have help that comes in twice EVERY day. Yes, every day of the year I have people in my home. My home. Not my parents. I cant have visitors because they take up my two guest rooms. Furniture that I love is in storage ($160/month). My father shuffles around on his walker scuffing my polished stone flooring. My walls are scratched up from where the Hoyer lift to move my mother around bumps into the walls and doors. They bathroom that they use has had the door removed so in the hopes that I could drop my mom in the shower and on the toilet. That didn't work. The $700 bidet toilet seat (a decadent experience if you've never tried one) that I purchased for my father to help ensure his ass gets clean doesn't get used because he refuses and leave poop streaks on his sheets...
There's more to the story, but I think you get the picture. Bottom line: I love my parents. . .but They're a burden financially and mentally. I can't have visitors. My dad yells at me. My home has been invaded (yes, I know I invited it), they listen to the TV too loud.
Honestly, that sounds like a nightmare! I hope you are able to get some time for yourself and take care of your immediate family. How long has this been going on?
I think it’s called making sacrifices for the ones we love. My hat is off to you. Of course, you have to realize when you have reached your limit(s), and it sounds like you could be close.
No, I'm not close. I'm just tired. I would never put them in the glue factory (managed care).
No, I'm not close. I'm just tired. I would never put them in the glue factory (managed care).
Patrick,
There are a lot of people around here who have, with heavy heart, had no choice but to put their loved ones in managed care. There are a wide range of reasons why this becomes "the decision" and it is rarely ever made thoughtlessly or without great despair.
Please refrain from using terms like "glue factory" even in jest. It is disrespectful to those who have had this hand forced on them.
Plus, you never know when your own situation might change. I hope it doesn't, but you never know.
Please refrain from using terms like "glue factory" even in jest.
It's called gallows humor. It helps some people to cope.
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