Anti, I was told that since I was now divorced, I was not welcome there. Now, the situation surrounding the divorce was nobody's business, but, nobody made any effort to give me the benefit of the doubt and that is what hurt. That is old business, but, taught me a hard lesson. The church I now attend has no denominational affiliation and the congregation is filled with (surprisingly enough) a fair amount of Chicago transplants. I also sometimes attend my oldest son's church which is a new plant and has, as it's pastor, a converted Muslim.
To draw all of this back to the original thread, when
this northerner asks about diversity or culture, this is what it is all about. Not black/white/green/purple....it is about a community that is accepting of everyone, no matter what your race, creed or anything. You can accept people and tolerate their idiocyncricies without being their best friends. It is simply a matter of "getting along". Sometimes, you have to realize that whatever they are doing to annoy you might just be a trait of theirs; maybe they are homesick, for example, and, are wishing for something familiar when they appear to be dissing Charlotte....
One trait from up north is that people are direct. Pretty much you can take what we say at face value. There rarely is hidden meanings behind what we say. To respond to the other midwesterner, yes, I have been insulted up there, too. The differece is that you know where you stand pretty much immediately and then it is over. Here, I have found that the insults are sugar coated or otherwise hidden and, unless you are very good at sleuthing, you have no idea what is coming until it blind sides you. That is the kind of "acceptance" that I find infuriatng. Everyone is not going to like everyone all the time, but, why pretend that you do when you really don't? or, say things that could have a thousand different meanings for the other person to interpret? That is exhausting and I, for one, choose not to be a part of it anymore. It is too much work!
Going back to the original topic...that is where this northerner seeks diversity/culture, where I can be myself without having to constantly worry that I am insulting someone or that my tone is bad, or any of the million other things that I have been told could be
perceived as "wrong"....when I really don't mean any of those things. I simply say what I mean. Period. (as long as I am talking to someone who would understand me. to others, I try not to say anything at all)
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