Christians and Cohabitation (translate, Old Testament, protestants, sexuality)
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Please. When I was deluded into believing that virginity was some sort of sacrament I lived with a woman for 1 year and we never had sex. Because we both were committed to that standard.
If you want to have sex with someone, you'll do it. Living with them no more facilitates that than living 1 hour away. Back in 2009 I didn't live with a woman but her and I had sex ALL THE TIME.
You gave an anecdotal answer, but honestly how many people realistically could do the same thing that you did? We are sexual beings. If you poll this website, you are more likely the outlier than not, do you not agree?
Is it possible to abstain from sex? Sure. But one thing about Christianity that I have learned is that everyone has their own struggles. Some people have a hard time abstaining from getting drunk, I have not a single desire to even have one drop of alcohol. Other people struggle with being covetous. Point being, everyone doesn't have the same struggles as you or I.
Let me ask you this, as a means to give some perspective here. Let's say you have a relative that really struggles with alcohol. Would you take them to a bar for drinks?
You gave an anecdotal answer, but honestly how many people realistically could do the same thing that you did? We are sexual beings. If you poll this website, you are more likely the outlier than not, do you not agree?
Is it possible to abstain from sex? Sure. But one thing about Christianity that I have learned is that everyone has their own struggles. Some people have a hard time abstaining from getting drunk, I have not a single desire to even have one drop of alcohol. Other people struggle with being covetous. Point being, everyone doesn't have the same struggles as you or I.
Let me ask you this, as a means to give some perspective here. Let's say you have a relative that really struggles with alcohol. Would you take them to a bar for drinks?
Not everyone struggles with sex. I know the universal Christian belief is that all men do (and apparently that women don't) but to say that cohabitation is a sin because some struggle with sex is akin to saying playing golf a sin because some Christians are really into golf and it can take away from their devotion to God. See how ridiculous this idea is? Where is there is no Law, there is no transgression.
Umm, did you read what I just said? I made that same point.
Quote:
Originally Posted by EddieOlSkool
I know the universal Christian belief is that all men do (and apparently that women don't)
I never suggested that though, so why is that relevant to our discussion that me and you are having?
Quote:
Originally Posted by EddieOlSkool
but to say that cohabitation is a sin because some struggle with sex is akin to saying playing golf a sin because some Christians are really into golf and it can take away from their devotion to God. See how ridiculous this idea is? Where is there is no Law, there is no transgression.
Did I say it was sin? I would love for you to show me in what post on here that I declared it a sin.
Your analogy doesn't make sense. Playing golf itself isn't sinful and playing it doesn't necessarily take you away from the devotion to God if you have that desire to do so. Having a desire for sex is entirely different.
Sex is a very natural desire that we all have (unless we have an ailment that prevent those desires). Everyone isn't going to be born with a desire to play golf. If you are not married and you are trying to abstain from it, how do you do it? Is there some magic potion that makes you not want to have sex? Does living with a person help you from that? Some people need that distance. Some people just need certain physical boundaries when it comes to affections and some people can just control their desires. The point is, for the ones who do have those struggles of being alone with their significant other, how do they control those urges?
Guess this is where you and I depart because I don't see enough evidence biblically to declare that sex outside of marriage is a sin. I used to believe in that, and then I researched. It seems lacking.
My husband and I lived together before marriage for a few years and honestly it is no one else's business who lives with whom and if they choose marriage or not.
It is also no one else's "place" to try and convince someone they should get married, that decision is between those who are intimate, in the relationship and living together.
I am sure the question was asked from the Biblical point of view.
Guess this is where you and I depart because I don't see enough evidence biblically to declare that sex outside of marriage is a sin. I used to believe in that, and then I researched. It seems lacking.
Really? The fact that God designed marriage as 1 man, 1 woman, and told them to leave and cleave isn't enough? Or that there are specific commands against sexual immorality? Or that Paul said it's better to marry than to lust?
Guess this is where you and I depart because I don't see enough evidence biblically to declare that sex outside of marriage is a sin. I used to believe in that, and then I researched. It seems lacking.
Is the topic cohabitation or fornication? If you don't see fornication as sin then it won't matter what you think of cohabitation because you already don't see fornication as sin.
What research have you done? Have you not seen the word fornication in the Bible? What context do you think it is used in?
This is a very touchy subject for Christians because we all indulge our lusts and want absolution for them or a rationale that makes them OK. Our state of mind is paramount in these matters. Unfortunately, during our lust our state of mind tends to be quite animalistic and self-centered. This is a problem that the formal state of marriage can neither compensate for nor undo. We arbitrarily have decided that it can and therefore tend to see a difference when lust occurs without the formal cover of marriage. In truth . . . a marriage is entirely in the state of mind of the participants. A ceremony or societal sanction adds nothing except legal responsibilities and obligations. Those couples who genuinely love one another (not just lust after one another) are just as "married" in God's eyes as those who undergo some ceremony. Either way . . . if one or both of the partners is simply in lust and not truly committed . . . a ceremony will make no difference . . . as the divorce statistics show. God is not about ceremonies. He is about states of mind.
Is the topic cohabitation or fornication? If you don't see fornication as sin then it won't matter what you think of cohabitation because you already don't see fornication as sin.
What research have you done? Have you not seen the word fornication in the Bible? What context do you think it is used in?
I always thought Hebrews 13:4 addressed it - keeping the marriage bed pure and undefiled and all that. It must have been an old edition. Or that is just referring to after marriage, whereas before marriage, anything goes.
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Christians and Cohabitation
