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Don't like this at all but I found the one guy who kept saying "DAMN....DAMN" quite funny.
Opinions?
Most men would be happy with that level of attention, but we know how it goes.
Women seem to be showing off their bodies more than ever, especially the lower portion. Yoga pants leave little to the imagination. If women want to be ogled less, they should show less. It's basic biology.
Women seem to be showing off their bodies more than ever, especially the lower portion. Yoga pants leave little to the imagination. If women want to be ogled less, they should show less. It's basic biology.
OR men could try to activate their sense of decency and not be so base in behavior. I've taught my son how to be respectful to women. I married a man who was respectful toward women. It's not an impossible feat.
Women seem to be able to control themselves just fine. Are you saying that men have no control over their "ogling?" Because that's pretty damned sad.
Replace the young lady with a man in a business suit. He's walking down the sidewalk, eyes in front of him, trying to get to wherever he's going. And women on the street start yelling to him, "Hey, smile! Looking good, Mister! What? I'm too ugly for you? C'mon, you don't wanna talk to me?" People would be appalled and say, "Why are those women accosting that poor business man like that? He's just trying to get to his important business meeting. He's probably married with a family! Those women are making him so uncomfortable." And then the catcalling women say, "But he's wearing that nice suit and tie. Obviously he WANTS attention. I mean, look how he's dressed! He's asking for it!"
Yeah, pretty stupid sounding, right? Why does this young woman have to put up with all this unwanted attention? She's obviously NOT looking to interact with random strangers on the street. Nothing in her demeanor suggests that she's inviting conversation. Maybe she is deaf, maybe she's on her way to a funeral. Why should she have to smile? Why should she have to interact with these rude people just because THEY think she should? She's simply trying to get from Point A to Point B. She should be allowed to do so without people following alongside her and saying things like, "I'm looking at a thousand dollars," which is an implication of what? That she would make him a thousand dollars if he were her pimp? That's sick behavior right there. And it's not right. People need to stop saying this kind of crap is not harmful... because it really is.
I had a dude tell me to smile once when he walked past me. It kinda pissed me off, not because I thought he was harassing me, but what, did I look like a beeyotch walking down the sidewalk with a straight face? Am I supposed to walk the streets with a moron grin on my face for no reason? It was just a stupid thing to say in my opinion.
There's no comparison -- most guys would have a comeback, which the woman would then consider to be "harassment". so no matter how you look at it, the dynamic will always be that man is always the victimizer.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nicci6Squirrels
Replace the young lady with a man in a business suit. He's walking down the sidewalk, eyes in front of him, trying to get to wherever he's going. And women on the street start yelling to him, "Hey, smile! Looking good, Mister! What? I'm too ugly for you? C'mon, you don't wanna talk to me?" People would be appalled and say, "Why are those women accosting that poor business man like that? He's just trying to get to his important business meeting. He's probably married with a family! Those women are making him so uncomfortable." And then the catcalling women say, "But he's wearing that nice suit and tie. Obviously he WANTS attention. I mean, look how he's dressed! He's asking for it!"
Yeah, pretty stupid sounding, right? Why does this young woman have to put up with all this unwanted attention? She's obviously NOT looking to interact with random strangers on the street. Nothing in her demeanor suggests that she's inviting conversation. Maybe she is deaf, maybe she's on her way to a funeral. Why should she have to smile? Why should she have to interact with these rude people just because THEY think she should? She's simply trying to get from Point A to Point B. She should be allowed to do so without people following alongside her and saying things like, "I'm looking at a thousand dollars," which is an implication of what? That she would make him a thousand dollars if he were her pimp? That's sick behavior right there. And it's not right. People need to stop saying this kind of crap is not harmful... because it really is.
Most men would be happy with that level of attention, but we know how it goes.
Women seem to be showing off their bodies more than ever, especially the lower portion. Yoga pants leave little to the imagination. If women want to be ogled less, they should show less. It's basic biology.
Now yoga pants are overtly sexual? The number of puritans is astounding. Or maybe, you know, quit being such a pervert that you find sex in anything.
This. Most of the women I've known don't attract attention at all. They feel invisible. They're not expecting or wanting catcalls (or shouted orders to smile--that's common, from what I hear), or to be approached by dudes who appear to be loitering and unemployed. They do hope for an occasional friendly chat in the grocery store or at a public event. They say (and this was the subject of a thread in the Relationships forum) that being approached on the street makes them uncomfortable, and isn't appropriate. There's a psychological factor there that women can explain better than I can. But I thought the way the woman in the film was followed by two guys (on separate occasions) was a little freaky. That's not normal behavior.
How are the women you've known shaped? That's got everything to do with it. Read some biology/anthropology articles. Men automatically notice wide hips, chestyness and all the other fertility signs.
Yeah, pretty stupid sounding, right? Why does this young woman have to put up with all this unwanted attention?
Because in life, we all put up with things that we don't like. I'm sorry that she is going through this, but we all have things that we don't like. There is no magic wand to make this go away. The truth is she doesn't have to put up with this. She can do just what she did and ignore it. No one touched her, as far we know, and no one stopped her, so there is nothing that suggest that she had to do anything other than just walk away.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nicci6Squirrels
She's obviously NOT looking to interact with random strangers on the street. Nothing in her demeanor suggests that she's inviting conversation.
And how many people actually do? Do you know how many beggars come up to me looking for money? Do you think I like to be stopped by every beggar in the city when I'm trying to get to work? I understand that this is something I can expect and I have learned to adapt to it. I know how to keep it moving and how not to stop for anyone. Making a video is not going to stop this behavior nor is it going to change that fact that it exist.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nicci6Squirrels
Maybe she is deaf, maybe she's on her way to a funeral. Why should she have to smile? Why should she have to interact with these rude people just because THEY think she should?
She doesn't have to smile, but understand that not everyone was rude. The people who were being respectful are being treated poorly by her because of a couple of jerks. That isn't right and isn't fair. She is free to ignore all individuals but we should also recognize that every man that comes up to her, doesn't have to be a jerk.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nicci6Squirrels
She's simply trying to get from Point A to Point B. She should be allowed to do so without people following alongside her and saying things like, "I'm looking at a thousand dollars," which is an implication of what? That she would make him a thousand dollars if he were her pimp? That's sick behavior right there. And it's not right. People need to stop saying this kind of crap is not harmful... because it really is.
She should. We should also not have people breaking into our homes or murdering other people. These are all desires but none of those things are reality. As much as we want the world to be different, we have to deal with the world the way it is. There will be rude, disrespectful people no matter where you go.
There's no comparison -- most guys would have a comeback, which the woman would then consider to be "harassment". so no matter how you look at it, the dynamic will always be that man is always the victimizer.
What do you think the reason for that is? I'm no fragile flower, but if I have to pit my strength against a man's, I'm going to end up the loser, almost guaranteed. Men are usually physically stronger than women. And they've used that disparity in strength to intimidate. If a woman has a "comeback," she has to fear for her physical safety... and the catcalling type of men know this. We're left feeling intimidated and vulnerable because if we speak up, who knows what will happen? If this woman had stopped and looked any of these men in the eye and said, "Please leave me alone. I'm not interested." she could have been assaulted- verbally or physically. She has to continue on her path with men stalking her and yelling random things at her. I bet that doesn't happen to men often at all.
But men are the ones who are forced into the role off having to pursue the woman, and as in any situation that is highly competitive, the standards of conduct devolve because only the most aggressive and unscrupulous succeed. Despite everything that has happened in the last few decades, women haven't done much to mitigate the need for this competition -- if anything they have exacerbated the problem by making themselves more "unattainable". And for all these aggressive men, there are many more who are conflicted and awkward when it comes to getting to know women -- in part because they are concerned to some degree about how their behavior will be misinterpreted. As you yourself demonstrate, women seem to be quick to over-react and label any communication by someone they deem to be undesirable as "harassment" or "abuse". (And yet women seem to always be lamenting "where have all the good men gone?")
BS. This is all BS. Women are open to being approached, they haven't made themselves, en masse, "unattainable". Read the last few pages of the thread. It's about body language. Men who are illiterate in body language will have a hard time relating to women. Dudes who do understand how body language works, will do better. The most aggressive and unscrupulous don't succeed, as the vid demonstrated. Lots of regular dudes interact well with women every day.
I sense some anger or resentment in this post at the fact that women are offended by dudes yelling at 'em and accosting 'em at inappropriate times. It's kinda disturbing that so many prefer to blame the woman instead of responding to the bigger issue of how street harassment affects women adversely. Like NOLA said, his gf came home one day an emotional wreck from all the ugly hassling she'd encountered. I take it it was nastier than what this film showed. Have any of you dudes had girlfriends or do you now have one? Aren't you concerned about her safety and well-being?
I'm really not getting the mentality on this thread.
How are the women you've known shaped? That's got everything to do with it. Read some biology/anthropology articles. Men automatically notice wide hips, chestyness and all the other fertility signs.
But if they're hassling women just for the sport of it, or to boost themselves up in a lame power play because they're unemployed and feel like society's throw-aways, they'll harass any woman, whether she's curvy or not. (This point was covered earlier in the thread.) Women who are close to flat-chested get harassed, too. They don't get approached for legit dating purposes or socializing, but they get harassed. That's because harassment is about power, not "dating" or being sociable. Like rape is about power, not love or lust. Y'all are missing the fundamental nature of the phenomenon, here.
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