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Maybe you haven't, but I would strongly advise against thinking that you couldn't.
Perhaps I am just cautious enough to not put myself and my sons in that situation. There is only one person to blame when this happens, and that is the parent. If said parent is THAT sleepy that they would forget their child in the backseat, he/she shouldn't be driving the toddler around to begin with.
Perhaps I am just cautious enough to not put myself and my sons in that situation. There is only one person to blame when this happens, and that is the parent. If said parent is THAT sleepy that they would forget their child in the backseat, he/she shouldn't be driving the toddler around to begin with.
Or perhaps it never happened to you, yet, that you were in a situation where something was outside of the routine, or you woke up late, or were feeling unwell, or didn't sleep well, or there is a work emergency, who knows what the situation is. Maybe you're driving two kids to daycare like normal, and then taking one to the doctor because s/he is unwell, except you forget to go to the doctor, because it is outside of your routine, and the child is asleep in the back. Don't think that it couldn't happen, though, because stuff happens. It really does. You do yourself a disservice by being brash enough to think that it wouldn't happen because you are cautious. A person doesn't have to be sleepy, just distracted.
Dangers of Leaving Kids in Hot Cars and How to Prevent It
Some parents or caregivers may forget that there is a sleeping child in the back seat and go about their business.
Think it can’t happen to you? It can, says Mark McDaniel, PhD, a psychology professor at the university of Washington at St. Louis. Here’s how:
"The memory is faced with a challenge when it needs to remember something that you don’t do every day, such as take your child to school,” McDaniel says. For instance, maybe Mom usually does that, but for some reason, Dad takes the task for the day, he says.
“If the child has fallen asleep in their car seat, which is usually behind the driver’s seat, there is no visual information to remind you that there is a kid to drop off and if you have not done it day in and day out, you need a cue,” McDaniel says. “These are not bad parents, but people who don’t have a good understanding of their memory system."
What can you do? Give yourself reminders. Keep telling yourself, out loud, to remember the child. And give yourself visual cues. For example, “place your briefcase beside your child so you must grab it before going to work, and will see your child,” McDaniel says. Or put your diaper bag on the seat next to you, so that you're reminded that you have the child with you."
Or perhaps it never happened to you, yet, that you were in a situation where something was outside of the routine, or you woke up late, or were feeling unwell, or didn't sleep well, or there is a work emergency, who knows what the situation is. Maybe you're driving two kids to daycare like normal, and then taking one to the doctor because s/he is unwell, except you forget to go to the doctor, because it is outside of your routine, and the child is asleep in the back. Don't think that it couldn't happen, though, because stuff happens. It really does. You do yourself a disservice by being brash enough to think that it wouldn't happen because you are cautious. A person doesn't have to be sleepy, just distracted.
Dangers of Leaving Kids in Hot Cars and How to Prevent It
Some parents or caregivers may forget that there is a sleeping child in the back seat and go about their business.
Think it can’t happen to you? It can, says Mark McDaniel, PhD, a psychology professor at the university of Washington at St. Louis. Here’s how:
"The memory is faced with a challenge when it needs to remember something that you don’t do every day, such as take your child to school,” McDaniel says. For instance, maybe Mom usually does that, but for some reason, Dad takes the task for the day, he says.
“If the child has fallen asleep in their car seat, which is usually behind the driver’s seat, there is no visual information to remind you that there is a kid to drop off and if you have not done it day in and day out, you need a cue,” McDaniel says. “These are not bad parents, but people who don’t have a good understanding of their memory system."
What can you do? Give yourself reminders. Keep telling yourself, out loud, to remember the child. And give yourself visual cues. For example, “place your briefcase beside your child so you must grab it before going to work, and will see your child,” McDaniel says. Or put your diaper bag on the seat next to you, so that you're reminded that you have the child with you."
My point exactly? Take extra precautions if things are outside the norm to make sure such disasters don't happen? But thanks for reinforcing what I said. Didn't think I'd have to go into full detail as to how one can be extra cautious. I also didn't think one would need a Ph.D psychologist to tell people how to be responsible parents.
I didn't read the whole thread because I really don't want to encounter what I imagine is inevitable...someone will suggest that this is somehow proof that gay parents are not OK even though plenty of straight ones have done it too.
I will instead agree with what Buzz Bee said. Because most of us think you'd have to be some kind of a monster to let this happen, or an idiot, we assume it could never happen to us. And that's exactly why it can. Many people will enter into a scenario that is outside of routine as described, but fail to give themselves any cues because they assume that they would never forget their child. Most of them thankfully will get a clue at some point before it becomes a tragedy. A few won't.
I once was in this situation. My husband normally dropped off the kids at daycare, but on that day he was home sick. Daycare was about 5 minutes from our house, and my work was a good 25-30 minutes further. My boys were uncharacteristically quiet that morning, and my mind was on my husband and what soups and cold meds I should pick up at the store, and whether I ought to leave early to check on him. I got halfway to work before a glance in my rearview mirror showed me the face of one of my kids and I realized what I'd done...forgot to drop them off. I had to turn around and go back and do so, and I was late to work. It was not a tragedy but it could have been and I was appalled at myself for forgetting all about my boys.
Because of this, whenever I hear of one of these stories, I treat it as a tragic accident unless proven otherwise. We are human, and sometimes...accidents happen. It's sad but true.
Where, exactly, did I even infer that the story in the original post was excusable, or attributable to the foster parent being tired? If you had bothered to read the entire thread you'd have found where I agreed with another poster that I found that the fact that the two parents smoked pot was more disturbing and likely a larger factor in the toddler's death than the parents being gay (I don't find being gay disturbing)
I don't know what all the furor and hub-bub is about.
A narcissistic gay pot-head got stoned, forgot about their child and the child died.
It's not REALLY all that controversial. Pot-heads are stupid. They get distracted. Bad things happen when people that are supposed to pay attention to them smoke pot and get distracted.
It's not JUST for medical uses, you know. Some people smoke pot because they like it. They don't care that they get their arms caught in industrial machinery, get into avoidable car wrecks, set houses on fire because they went to sleep on the couch while something was on the stove. Somehow the pot-smoking retards have managed to persuade the mass-media to only tell one side of the story, which is that all pot-smoking retards have cancer, leukemia, psoriasis, eczema, warts, dandruff, athlete's foot, gout, acne, toenail fungus and premature ejaculation issues, and marijuana cures ALL of those things, and makes your hair nice & soft and silky smooth, too.
The fact that people die as a result of one person's inattention due to marijuana use is ignored, as well as the fact that most dopers are straight-up retards. They call it DOPE for a reason, duh.
It's a dark day in America's steady downward backslide into the mud of barbarism, when the potheads make legislative decisions that get people killed on the freeway and children die of heat while their parents watch "adult swim" in a drug-addled haze. Who CARES about these people? It's the so-called "responsible" middle-class americans (the gutless cowards) that stand around and watch these sociological dynamics happening, many of whom are represented here. "The Problem" is here, there and everywhere except for where it really is, which is the unwillingness for intelligent people to state out loud that there are some people too stupid and dysfunctional to be trusted with democratic and legislative power over other people.
Where, exactly, did I even infer that the story in the original post was excusable, or attributable to the foster parent being tired? If you had bothered to read the entire thread you'd have found where I agreed with another poster that I found that the fact that the two parents smoked pot was more disturbing and likely a larger factor in the toddler's death than the parents being gay (I don't find being gay disturbing)
thanks for playing. slappy head.
Ah.
And this too is what I get for not reading the thread.
Did he get high and drive? Stoned while responsible for a small kid? No bueno.
I support legal pot, but most users I know do it when they know they won't have to drive or care for little kids or whatever. Sad.
And this too is what I get for not reading the thread.
Did he get high and drive? Stoned while responsible for a small kid? No bueno.
I support legal pot, but most users I know do it when they know they won't have to drive or care for little kids or whatever. Sad.
I don't know if the parent who was responsible for the toddler at the time of her death was high at the time he left her in the car, but the pair was smoking pot and eating pizza and watching Game of Thrones when they realized that the little girl had been left in the car.
I am of the opinion that the use of pot showed a level of immaturity, a real lack or lapse of judgement. If I recall correctly, one of the pair is (was?) a school teacher, and again, I would hope that a person in that position would be more judicious with their recreational drug and/or alcohol use. Personally, I know that I made choices to curtail certain activities when (well before, actually) I became a parent, and most of the parents who I know did the same thing.
Certainly, the use of pot is easily more directly attributable to the little girl's death than the parent's sexual orientation.
However, I also believe that sober people who are normally organized and responsible can get thrown off their normal schedule or routine for one or a combination of reasons, and to think that "I would never do that" is a dangerous way for a person to think. I would bet that a great many of the people who tragically forgot their children in a car thought that they could never do that, as well.
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