Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
He took it to levels that was completely unnecessary for a STEPFATHER. This wasn't HIS kid.
That girl had a hellish life living in that home with a weak mother who played see no evil/hear no evil/speak no evil to a man that was emotionally/physically abusing her daughter.
Of course it had to do with the hair cutting. The girl was very pretty and had beautiful hair. What was the need in cutting it? I've heard of jealous mothers doing this crap, but not fathers - REAL bio fathers.
But I have heard of extremely jealous abusive boyfriends doing it.
This man may have been a sadistic jerk, I don't know any of the details. But for you to insinuate that a step father cannot be a real father is ridiculous.
I am a non bio father of 5 children and I am their real loving father.
Why did he burn her clothes? Can you tell me that?
What part of the "this will teach you a lesson" game is this?
Because I'm not seeing what she could learn with chopped up hair and raggedy clothes.
Is this supposed to make boys NOT want her or something?
She was still pretty in the face, so chopping up her hair wouldn't have stopped the attraction.
Once again without knowing all the details this seems like a bad punishment.
But you don't think what you call "real" parents don't also do things like this?
This man may have been a sadistic jerk, I don't know any of the details. But for you to insinuate that a step father cannot be a real father is ridiculous.
I am a non bio father of 5 children and I am their real loving father.
I am a "bio mom" but this is the thing that bugs me most about this thread, the implication that he must be perverted, that he didn't love her, that he has no standing because he is a "step". I'm not agreeing with the hair cutting but we should give EXTRA credit to parents that raise kids by choice, not view them with suspicion because they're "step" parents.
Location: Scott County, Tennessee/by way of Detroit
3,352 posts, read 2,823,177 times
Reputation: 10348
Quote:
Originally Posted by allenk893
Some of you folks would love if children weren't disciplined at all. First it was spanking. Now you want to crusade against shaming. What exactly do you think disciplines a child that has no respect for themselves or others? Standing in a corner? Time out? Lol. I swear some American parents are the worst. We don't have these problems in my culture.
Yeah...sure you don't....
I'll bet every kid in your culture is perfect because of great discipline tactics no one else outside of it has ever applied to them....Ridiculous... Show me a culture where kids never give their parents problems...that's right there isn't one...
This man was a psychotic bully...If he would have done this to my daughter, his $hit would be in Hefty Bags at the curb...who could live with a man like this, and to mention no relative of mine nor a friend would ever give me the time of day again....This is reprehensible...
This man may have been a sadistic jerk, I don't know any of the details. But for you to insinuate that a step father cannot be a real father is ridiculous.
I am a non bio father of 5 children and I am their real loving father.
The acts he committed against her was NOT his domain.
It was her mother's to do. I don't agree with public shaming for anyone - adult or child, but this loser took it to extremes.
Who knows what else was in store for her in that hellish home had she lived.
I have not mentioned the suicide nor have I said there is a direct correlation between the shaming episode and the child's suicide however the discipline that he implemented is a direct reflection on his poor judgement and is possibly the tip of the iceberg. I'm a father what he did I would not even consider I have happy well adjusted successful girls in part because I have been thoughtful in how I have chosen to correct them.
Doesn't matter he is the stepfather his role is secondary to the biological parent in the household, if the mother did indeed set him up to it then she is even a less effective parent than the stepfather which speaks volumes, assuming the hypothetical situation you bring up is true.
Neither of us knows why the man did the hair-cutting, how long he's been with the mother. For all we know, he's been the only father the girl knew and shares discipline with the mother. If you've seen articles with more details about the relationship, fine, I'd like to know what they said.
I can't imagine a situation where cutting off her hair would enter my mind. Where you jumped to conclusions was in saying the man was the primary disciplinarian and in All child/stepfather/biological mother relationships, the mother should be the primary disciplinarian and the man simply 'supportive.'
Once again without knowing all the details this seems like a bad punishment.
But you don't think what you call "real" parents don't also do things like this?
Of course, there are horrible parents, but the difference is the child still loves the parent and vice versa for the abusive parent.
I am a "bio mom" but this is the thing that bugs me most about this thread, the implication that he must be perverted, that he didn't love her, that he has no standing because he is a "step". I'm not agreeing with the hair cutting but we should give EXTRA credit to parents that raise kids by choice, not view them with suspicion because they're "step" parents.
Can you give insight into why he burned her clothes or had the principal publicly shame her in the school?
[quote=jazzarama;40026288]Neither of us knows why the man did the hair-cutting, how long he's been with the mother. For all we know, he's been the only father the girl knew and shares discipline with the mother. If you've seen articles with more details about the relationship, fine, I'd like to know what they said.
I can't imagine a situation where cutting off her hair would enter my mind. Where you jumped to conclusions was in saying the man was the primary disciplinarian and in All child/stepfather/biological mother relationships, the mother should be the primary disciplinarian and the man simply 'supportive.'[/quote
Show me where I say this.
I do believe that it is best if the bio parent in the household regardless of gender should be in control of the chids discipline, if the bio parents skills are lacking than it is their job to acquired more effective skills not shirk their responsibility on the stepparent. This stepfather strikes me as a bully however and if the bio mom failed to protect her daughter than I have no sympathy for her.
Anyone ever see the movie Virgin Suicides? This reminds me of that. Sometimes its nobodys fault but "being a 13 year old girl"
What? That was a work of fiction. Are you using a work of fiction to make a point about the real world?
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
