Question About Making Friendships In Denver.. Strange Encounters (Highlands Ranch, Littleton: new home, high school)

[emm74]

Originally Posted by Thoreau424

We still keep seeing and hearing the same few outlets: bars and biking/hiking. Most metropolitan areas have infinitely more interests and options. Maybe more variety and diversity leads to enhanced living and connecting with others? Increasing and widening, rather than narrowing and limiting? I'm sure that will touch on nerves though...

I don't think my nerves are touched but I'm curious what other interests and options you think other metropolitan areas offer?

From my perspective, Denver offers much more beyond bars and hiking, despite their popularity. An ever increasing food scene, live music, live theater, museums, galleries, comedy clubs, a small but interesting film community, professional sports (the full gamut on that), recreational activities like bowling, mini golf, etc. Sure, there aren't AS many restaurants, theaters, clubs, etc. as NYC or LA, but there are plenty.

Please go ahead and add to that list, I'm always up for trying something different that I might not have known about.

Now as to whether any of these activities are a way to meet new friends? Well, I'll grant that most of them are not, but that's the same whether they are in Denver or Manhattan or any other city. So your list of those options could be very instructive for the OP and anyone else looking to connect with people.

[MN_Ski]

Originally Posted by Thoreau424

We still keep seeing and hearing the same few outlets: bars and biking/hiking. Most metropolitan areas have infinitely more interests and options. Maybe more variety and diversity leads to enhanced living and connecting with others? Increasing and widening, rather than narrowing and limiting? I already know the answer to the rhetorical questions...

It is definitely a downside to Denver, but I don't think that it's really anyone's fault. Denver is a major metropolitan city located near one of the most unique natural areas of the country for certain sports. It's not really anyone's fault that is happens to attract people who want to take advantage of the region. It would be like living near the beach, and complaining that people only ever want to swim/surf/fish. And as Denver becomes more expensive, those who put a high value of mountain sports will be more willing to take on the COL compared to those who aren't.

I realize I have a strong bias here...but I honestly like that so many people here are into mountain sports. And it's one of the reasons why I have decided to stay. You can't find a community like this in any other major city (except Salt Lake City and maybe Seattle). I like constantly meeting new people who share the same interests, and always finding a group to tag along with for new adventure.

[emm74]

Originally Posted by MN_Ski

I like constantly meeting new people who share the same interests, and always finding a group to tag along with for new adventure.

ok, this is the big question though - how do you meet these people, and how do you transition from that meeting to actually going on a shared adventure? That seems to be the sticking point for the OP - he can meet people, have a pleasant exchange and even get to the point of exchanging numbers, but then when it comes time to move to the next level and do something together, it fizzles out. You are obviously doing something right if you are always finding new groups of people to enjoy activities with.

[MN_Ski]

Originally Posted by emm74

ok, this is the big question though - how do you meet these people, and how do you transition from that meeting to actually going on a shared adventure? That seems to be the sticking point for the OP - he can meet people, have a pleasant exchange and even get to the point of exchanging numbers, but then when it comes time to move to the next level and do something together, it fizzles out. You are obviously doing something right if you are always finding new groups of people to enjoy activities with.

Usually by making a plan. For example, I didn't really get into mountain biking until I moved here. So I was totally a newbie and had a new bike that I wasn't familiar with. I went out to the trails and casually struck up conversation with others and asked questions. I found a small group a guys who said they ride this exact trail every Wed after work. I just happened to go there the following Wed, saw the same group of guys, asked if I could ride along with them, and I made it a weekly commitment. After a few weeks, we became friends.

If I run into someone at the bar who also happens to ride bikes, I ask where they like to go, and if they would like to meetup next time. Sometimes it follows through, sometimes it doesn't. It's kind of like dating.

The best part about shared activities is that it keeps you on a schedule, avoids awkwardness of going to someones house, and allows other to join along. This is also the benefit of joining a rec league. The schedule will keep you and others coming back, and you don't have to deal with initiating or reaching out to make times.

[emm74]

Originally Posted by MN_Ski

Usually by making a plan. For example, I didn't really get into mountain biking until I moved here. So I was totally a newbie and had a new bike that I wasn't familiar with. I went out to the trails and casually struck up conversation with others and asked questions. I found a small group a guys who said they ride this exact trail every Wed after work. I just happened to go there the following Wed, saw the same group of guys, asked if I could ride along with them, and I made it a weekly commitment. After a few weeks, we became friends.

If I run into someone at the bar who also happens to ride bikes, I ask where they like to go, and if they would like to meetup next time. Sometimes it follows through, sometimes it doesn't. It's kind of like dating.

The best part about shared activities is that it keeps you on a schedule, avoids awkwardness of going to someones house, and allows other to join along. This is also the benefit of joining a rec league. The schedule will keep you and others coming back, and you don't have to deal with initiating or reaching out to make times.

thanks - I had made a similar suggestion about showing up for something more than once, and trying to establish more of a connection before trying to make specific plans, which sounds like what has been working for you.

Hopefully this will be helpful advice for the OP, or anyone else reading this thread and working to establish a new friend network in this area.

[Mike from back east]

He said he works 70 hours a week, that's got to limit the time available to work on the social life.

[N610DL]

Originally Posted by Thoreau424

We still keep seeing and hearing the same few outlets: bars and biking/hiking. Most metropolitan areas have infinitely more interests and options. Maybe more variety and diversity leads to enhanced living and connecting with others? Increasing and widening, rather than narrowing and limiting? I already know the answer to the rhetorical questions...

Having an ocean certainly opens doors. When I lived in Denver it was all bars and biking for me (and sometimes together ).


I think it's the smaller size of Denver and it being landlocked that l think leads to complacency and narrow-mindedness. Compile that with the altitude which lacks oxygen to the brain.

[Norrov]

It’s tough to spark up random friendships. When i first moved here I got a part time job at a retail store and volunteered at places. That’s how I met the majority of my friends.

I didn’t need the stupid job at the retail store at all, but I met a lot of awesome people there. I got it because I was bored and wanted to meet people. Worked great, and I got paid to wander around and put things away.

Edit: also running clubs and pub runs are an awesome way to meet people. If you like running anyway. Half the people just walk it anyway, also signing up to random sports leagues. There’s tons of concert junkies here too. If you’re bored here that’s your fault.

Maybe find a job with a better work/life balance? 70-80 hours a week and a social life don’t mix

[N610DL]

Originally Posted by Norrov

It’s tough to spark up random friendships. When i first moved here I got a part time job at a retail store and volunteered at places. That’s how I met the majority of my friends.

I didn’t need the stupid job at the retail store at all, but I met a lot of awesome people there. I got it because I was bored and wanted to meet people. Worked great, and I got paid to wander around and put things away.

Edit: also running clubs and pub runs are an awesome way to meet people. If you like running anyway. Half the people just walk it anyway, also signing up to random sports leagues. There’s tons of concert junkies here too. If you’re bored here that’s your fault.

Maybe find a job with a better work/life balance? 70-80 hours a week and a social life don’t mix

It is but I'm still glad I met friends via interaction and then met friends of friends via local neighborhood bar or other friends I already met. It can be done in Denver for sure, but it's more of an 80/20 split. The 80% you are going to keep fair-weather and the other 20% you'll want to reach out to.



Another big thing is having fun neighbors. There was a neighbor who was really fun to hang with and then got into a relationship and then moved and I never heard from him again until I moved (coincidentally) over a year later. I guess he broke out of the relationship by then, but the fact we were both basement apartment neighbors (the only two in the complex) it was easier to chill. In fact, I got more backlash by the people above me and had go work myself more into the group. Maybe they were jealous I was paying way less rent in the basement unit? Haha, IDK, but the "come and go" thing based on convenience was more of a thing in Denver. There was a lot more ghosting / flakiness and then coming back into the fold and whatnot.

[BarryK123]

Originally Posted by Norrov

I didn’t need the stupid job at the retail store at all, but I met a lot of awesome people there.

Other employees or customers?