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I'm crying as I type this..... I keep trying to tell myself, I'm jumping the gun too soon. Am I?
She's a little shih-tzu/pug. I adopted her when she was 6 yrs old (2005), from the Humane Society. She came from a horrific past, in a puppy mill. She was the breeding *****. The judge court ordered the removal of 32 dogs, and the people received over a dozen charges of animal cruelty. She was a mess when I got her.
Fast forward.... she's 1/2 blind, 1/2 deaf, arthritis, IBS, overweight, a bit of a heart cough.... but she <was> still a very happy little girl.
I say <was> because in the last month everything is changing. She's not 1/2 blind anymore. She's wayyyyyy more blind than that! She can barely see shadows anymore. She keeps walking into everything. It's currently broad daylight, and I have every light in the house on.... and she still can barely see shadows. She's still walking into large furniture. She's scared.... very scared. I can tell. Once she finds a "safe" spot, she hesitates to leave it.
The heart cough.... it's worse... much worse. Just walking across the room, just that little bit of excerise/movement... and she's coughing and hacking. This morning there is pink spots on my bed. She's got 2 modes... asleep, or awake and coughing till she hacks. Just this morning, she has creme colored phelm that keeps hanging from her mouth.
Just in the last few days, I'm realizing that it won't be much longer, and her doing the doggie door for potty, isn't going to work much longer. #1) Will she be able to find the door? #2) Will her aches and pains allow her to manuever the door? #3) I seriously doubt between her being blind and the arthritis, she won't be able to handle the steps anymore.
When I approach her and pet her and kiss her, and talk to her... there's no joy, no sparkle anymore, and that's the part that is killing me.
Have you read what you wrote? She has NO quality of life currently and you have answered your own question with your own words.
Spring, we know exactly what your are going through,and feeling.
It is never easy, but one thing you can be proud of, and pat yourself on the back for is, you opened up your heart, and your home to a dog that most would never consider adopting, and for that you should be commended.
When people adopt, they want the young vibrant ones, and too many times pass by the dogs with a few years on them.
When I adopted my second Shepherd, Elsa, she was seven years old.
The instant I laid eyes on her, I knew I would bring her home.
The shelter had told me she came from an abusive home, so that made it that much more important too me, that she get a good home to live out the rest of her days.
I made a promise to both her, and myself that she would always have the best for as long as she lived, and believe me she did.
I am sure you very devoted to your dog's welfare for as long as you had her.
Time heals all wounds, and that includes wounds of the heart.
One day, when the time is right, you will mosey on down to the shelter, and once again, you will feel that little tug at your heartstrings, and there is no way you will just turn and walk away.
We dog owners are a rare breed indeed.
We love then more than the almighty should allow, but we just can't help it.
Bob.
I just wanted to say... I got her buried in my yard yesterday. I spent today landscaping her little plot. It's beautiful. I feel so much more peaceful knowing she's still with me.
You are a bunch of strangers, yet it was YOUR kind words that helped me make a most painful decision.
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