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I am one of those men who is in my 60's and I love kids. I enjoy talking to them, watch them play for hours and have never harbored even the most fleeting wicked or inappropriate thoughts. I could sit on a park bench to watch children I don't even know play for hours because to me they are magical.
If it my child that was being paid attention too by the janitor I would not worry too much but ~~~.
I may do a bit of snooping discreetly and if the janitor checks out OK I would invite the janitor over for supper some point.
You may make a nice new friend and may make a lonely old timer a bit happier.
On the other hand if you found out some dirt on the janitors record that the school missed then you know what you must do.
Geez, I'm sorry to have to post this on Christmas, but you people posting on this topic are nutz. Or, you have never had children in school.
The school has a job to do. Educate your children. Their custody of your children is premised on the legitimacy of that undertaking. Anything else they do to your children is with your express consent. Ever notice those permission slips they send home? They don't do that because they like to waste paper, they do it because the law requires it. They don't take your kid to City Hall without your permission, they don't let stranger wander onto the school grounds and talk to your kid. Not because the stranger is a problem, he may be the best citizen in town only trying to be of help to your kid. They prohibit it because it is not a part of the legitimate function of educating your child. And, the janitor may be a wonderful guy, but he has no right to address your kid on so much as the weather without parental consent much less deep conversation about anything. The fact that he is employed by the school and lawfully on the premises tells us exactly nothing. The school's interior designer is in the same position, as is the payroll clerk for the school and the teachers' union president. But they have nothing to do with educating your kid.
I'd report it in a heartbeat.
You are incorrect that parental consent is necessary for a janitor to address a child within a public school. I have taught & been a guidance counselor in schools for 25 years. This is simply inaccurate information. In fact, in many schools in which I have worked, the janitor's role is one of disciplinarian and behavioral management in the lunchroom, in addition to cleaning up spills and messes.
Since these incidents are bothering the OP, the OP should clearly make an appointment to talk alone with the principal,returning the hat to the principal. The principal will in turn talk to the janitor and thus the janitor will avoid excess contact with your son. It's pretty simple. However, I would suggest that your son not be a part of this meeting for a myriad of reasons. Let us know how it works out.
My third grader has been talking for the last two months about how the janitor at his school is his friend. At lunch time, he often comes and sits next to my boy and chats with him. I asked him if he talks to the other kids, and apparently he does, but not as much. The janitor has told him that other kids are not that friendly to him, but my kid is ( I know for a fact that my kid is Mr Popular at school - every teacher goes out of their way to tell us that), so the janitor likes talking to him.
Well, yesterday, my son came home with a very nice Santa hat. When asked where he got it from, he said the janitor gave it to him as a present.
Maybe this is an innocent gesture, this is a friendly man, liking a polite and friendly third grader and wanted to give him something trivial. But am I being too paranoid? I am concerned as to why someone should single out my child out of many to be so nice. I hate being paranoid and suspicious, this is not me, but at the same time, I don't want to be naive. Before I send an email to the teacher ( this wont be a complaint, more like a fyi...) - not even sure I would do it, but I wanted to run it by you all - other parents and school staff. What would you do? Am I over-reacting?
Thanks,
B
Before you ruin his life or start a Witch hunt, get your facts straight!
A mother's instinct is usually right...read the headline and know that 1 in every 58 children in the United States, were abused in 2006. That rate has increased dramatically with the increase in technology, e.g. internet. Better safe now than sorry later and not be able to reverse damage that has been caused. I would stress to my child not to go in any private place where this janitor would be and to alert me if he would try to get him to go out of the public eye with him...
Always, always, always go with your gut instinct. Read Gavin DeBecker's Protecting the Gift. So many times, moms do'nt want to look b****y and unknowingly put their kids at risk. If you tell your child to stay away from this man and ask the teacher to keep a close eye on your kid, the janitor's feelings may get hurt, and he may be completely innocent. That's kind of sad. If you don't do anything, and the janitor's intentions are less than honorable, and after all of this public grooming he does something to your child, you will never forgive yourself. That is tragic.
If something doesn't feel right, it probably isn't. Make that your mantra and protect your baby... more importantly, teach your child to trust his intuition, even at the age of 8. All too soon, you will be sending him out into the world, and he needs to know to honor his gut feelings on all sorts of matters. Best to learn that now. Good luck!
. . . In fact, in many schools in which I have worked, the janitor's role is one of disciplinarian and behavioral management in the lunchroom, in addition to cleaning up spills and messes.
I am shocked.
Last edited by Wilson513; 12-28-2010 at 02:52 PM..
Reason: Be nicer. My life goal.
I would talk to the principal or the janitor himself and see what feelings you get from him and if things are still gnawing at your gut then get serious and do something but I do agree with whoever said witch hunt , alot of innocent people get hurt in witch hunts and in turn ruining their lives . I usually go to the source if it is me involved . good luck and i hope after talking that allieviates your worries .
A mother's instinct is usually right...read the headline and know that 1 in every 58 children in the United States, were abused in 2006. That rate has increased dramatically with the increase in technology, e.g. internet. Better safe now than sorry later and not be able to reverse damage that has been caused. I would stress to my child not to go in any private place where this janitor would be and to alert me if he would try to get him to go out of the public eye with him...
~Nicole
Quote:
Originally Posted by AnotherTouchOfWhimsy
Always, always, always go with your gut instinct. Read Gavin DeBecker's Protecting the Gift. So many times, moms do'nt want to look b****y and unknowingly put their kids at risk. If you tell your child to stay away from this man and ask the teacher to keep a close eye on your kid, the janitor's feelings may get hurt, and he may be completely innocent. That's kind of sad. If you don't do anything, and the janitor's intentions are less than honorable, and after all of this public grooming he does something to your child, you will never forgive yourself. That is tragic.
If something doesn't feel right, it probably isn't. Make that your mantra and protect your baby... more importantly, teach your child to trust his intuition, even at the age of 8. All too soon, you will be sending him out into the world, and he needs to know to honor his gut feelings on all sorts of matters. Best to learn that now. Good luck!
I didn't read all the posts, but if you have some concerns, why don't you go to the school yourself, and introduce yourself to the janitor? It would give you the opportunity to assess the risk directly, as an adult, rather than weighing yourself down with nightmares about this. And having lunch with your child, meeting the people he interacts with, is a whole lot better than raising red flags about someone whose interactions with your child may be wholly innocent. Raising those red flags could permanently harm this janitor, suspicions like yours are hard to shake.
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If it was my child.
- every teacher goes out of their way to tell us that), so the janitor likes talking to him.