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I didn't read all the posts, but if you have some concerns, why don't you go to the school yourself, and introduce yourself to the janitor? It would give you the opportunity to assess the risk directly, as an adult, rather than weighing yourself down with nightmares about this. And having lunch with your child, meeting the people he interacts with, is a whole lot better than raising red flags about someone whose interactions with your child may be wholly innocent. Raising those red flags could permanently harm this janitor, suspicions like yours are hard to shake.
Excellent suggestion to have lunch with your son- bring a fast-food sack & all the kids will envy him that his mom is there. Many of my students' parents at that age stop buy with lunch with their children.
Before you ruin his life or start a Witch hunt, get your facts straight!
Really??? Did you even need to add to this thread if you had nothing constructive to say???
To the other posters recommending lunch, great advice. I plan to do it. To the other poster wanting to know why I was posting this on CD instead of doing something, not sure if you are aware, but schools in this country are closed this week due to the holidays, so there is nothing I can do right now...even sending an email will mean it will not be read until the 3rd...
I am getting towards retirement age and being pretty good at math I have thought about volunteering my time to tutor a child. Perhaps meet at his home or maybe a parent would drop him off at the library where we could study and have fun for an hour or two a couple times a week. Fun? Ever see the look in a child's eyes as he finally "gets something"? To me the look of pride as he "finally gets it" is worth whatever effort it takes to put it there.
But I will never do this, there's just to much risk that a pat on the back could be taken totally out of context and ruin what I have left of my life.
My wife and I have a nice home, we've raised all of our children to adulthood through college which I paid for. We don't drink, do drugs or smoke but we do go to church every Sunday. We are comfortable, while not rich I earn more than average and with everything paid for we're just banking 40% of our take home pay because we have nothing else to spend it on. A few years ago we talked about taking in a foster child and we'd do it for free because a small investment of a few hundred dollars a month would be the best way to "invest" my money in a future.
But we will never do this, there's just to much risk that a pat on the back could be taken totally out of context and ruin what I have left of my life. I can hear the questions "what does he want with 13 year old Johnny?" when all I have are the purest of intentions.
I would like to be a boy scout leader but that will never happen. Coach little league would be cool but that would never happen either. People would wonder "why does that old guy want to be around children for?" and that might be all it takes.
Sensational Allegations, Questionable Confessions
Sensational allegations included the existence of a group called “The Circle” made up of mothers and fathers trading their children for ritual sex abuse, and black-clad adults in sunglasses holding large scale orgies around Wenatchee.
Forty-three adults were arrested and accused of 29,726 counts of sexually abusing 60 children. Some were released. Eighteen pleaded guilty, mostly on the basis of signed confessions. Ten were convicted at trial. Three were acquitted. Eighteen went to prison.
Yes, there are sexual predators out there but I don't believe they are in numbers to the point they lurk under every single rock. The simple fact is most children are molested by people they know, people in the family. Stranger molestation is extremely rare but the mood of the country today seems to be if we jail all the men our children will be safe.
This whole country is being turned upside down. We pass Megan's Law to prevent child abductions and who gets snared? People like Ricky Ricky's Life
Quote:
Ricky and Amanda met at an Iowa teen club on a Saturday night in December of 2005. Ricky was 16 and Amanda told him she was nearly the same age. They got to talking, learned they were from the same town outside the area and hit it off. They started dating and had sex on two occasions, definitely not the right thing for kids that age to do, but not uncommon. It ended when Amanda told Ricky's mother she was only 14 and asked her not to reveal this to Ricky. Actually, she was 13.
If you want to read a real horror story go to the link on Ricky.
In the meantime the war against white males is winning and you'll excuse me if I don't have anything to do with kids other than my grandkids.
Be real careful who you mention this to. In today's frightened litigious atmosphere the janitor could lose his job simply on an allegation. Talking to the principal probably would cost him his job because there is no way someone would risk a $20 million lawsuit when all that needs to be done is dump a janitor.
I will say it a million times - as a parent I trust my gut. This child has his entire life to make friends - and a lifetime of friends await him. The janitor should not be villified - nor should anyone reach conclusions. In fact if it were my child I would 1) introduce myself to him as the parent; 2) instruct my child to ignore him and coach him on how to do so; 3) continue to ensure that my relationship with my son is open and accepting so he would tell me enough for me to assist him as he grows up.
The Janitor is innocently chatting with the child - so what? He can chat up someone else's kid not mine - if I am concerned in the least bit - it ends -period. Even as a parent I am very cautious about my interactions with children - sadly its the world in which we live - I prefer the caution rather than regret.
School employees other than short term contracted teachers in a non union school are almost impossible to fire. The idea that a reasonable inquiry by a parent would get this guy fired is absurd. He will be a civil service employee and will be tiptoed around like he is wearing a bomb. He could be trying to lure little Johnny into the basement to molest and they probably couldn't fire him unless he was successful. So just stop with all of the "poor janitor, someone is gonna ruin his life" nonsense. Its a reasonable question put to the right person (the Principal) under proper circumstances.
I didn't read all the posts, but if you have some concerns, why don't you go to the school yourself, and introduce yourself to the janitor? It would give you the opportunity to assess the risk directly, as an adult, rather than weighing yourself down with nightmares about this. And having lunch with your child, meeting the people he interacts with, is a whole lot better than raising red flags about someone whose interactions with your child may be wholly innocent. Raising those red flags could permanently harm this janitor, suspicions like yours are hard to shake.
I think this is the best advice. I would never bring this up with the principal or anyone else unless you go in there to have lunch with your son and then get weirded out, but even then be careful, b/c merely a suggestion could be hard to shake off and the school may start trying to get rid of a janitor that never did anything wrong.
Here's an example of something that happened in our family years ago. My dd turned 3 and had a little b-day party. We only had about 4 little girls over and a couple of parents stayed over as well to visit with us while the girls played upstairs in my dd's room. My dd always liked to dress up in costumes and that's what the girls were doing, and then the parent that didn't stay came to pick up her dd. The little girl had put on my dd's swimsuit, and removed her panties to do so, and then we couldn't find the panties anywhere. (I moved from that house a couple of years later and never did find them!) The mother told me later on the phone that her husband was extremely freaked out about the missing panties but she seemed agitated herself and I knew it was a big problem for them. AFter that convo, even if she'd been willing to let her dd come over again, I would not have been willing to host--the world is too crazy and paranoid and lord knows what they'd come up with next.
Now nothing ever came of this event, TG, but I never lost that feeling of fear that I had after I hung up the phone that night. I had not even come close to doing anything wrong, but here were these parents thinking I'd done Lord knows what and it sickened me to imagine what was going thru their minds. All this over a few little girls dressing in costumes while a small group of adults sat and had a nice visit, with me periodically checking in on them.
Really??? Did you even need to add to this thread if you had nothing constructive to say???
B
Do what you want but before you run to the principal and have somebody fired ( because that will happen ) for something he never did, like I said, you better be damn sure about it.
School employees other than short term contracted teachers in a non union school are almost impossible to fire. The idea that a reasonable inquiry by a parent would get this guy fired is absurd. He will be a civil service employee and will be tiptoed around like he is wearing a bomb. He could be trying to lure little Johnny into the basement to molest and they probably couldn't fire him unless he was successful. So just stop with all of the "poor janitor, someone is gonna ruin his life" nonsense. Its a reasonable question put to the right person (the Principal) under proper circumstances.
Do what you want but before you run to the principal and have somebody fired ( because that will happen ) for something he never did, like I said, you better be damn sure about it.
You assume the Principal will do the wrong thing? If the janitor should be fired then good. If not, can't you assume a Principal will know that? If you people who think the janitor should be giving a gift to an 8 year old are right, the Principal may go down and pat him on the back and tell him what a great job he is doing. Maybe he will get Employee of the Month.
School employees other than short term contracted teachers in a non union school are almost impossible to fire. The idea that a reasonable inquiry by a parent would get this guy fired is absurd. He will be a civil service employee and will be tiptoed around like he is wearing a bomb. He could be trying to lure little Johnny into the basement to molest and they probably couldn't fire him unless he was successful. So just stop with all of the "poor janitor, someone is gonna ruin his life" nonsense. Its a reasonable question put to the right person (the Principal) under proper circumstances.
No, certified teachers and administrators are almost impossible to fire. The rest of them are a dime a dozen and easy to replace and don't come with all the legal issues and no one would even notice if the janitor didn't come in the next day. As I said, they are mostly invisible, which is why I always make a point to speak to them.
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, the Principal may go down and pat him on the back and tell him what a great job he is doing. Maybe he will get Employee of the Month.