Men and Wedding Rings (damage, male, professional, guys)

[bellamax2]

I’ve heard guys say they don’t wear their wedding ring because they just don’t want to. So if a single woman is looking to date a guy then these married guys looks single.

Years ago I decided to buy myself a pretty ring and bought it for my right hand then it didn’t fit right so I started wearing on my ring finger. Being single and not thinking too much about wearing this ring I was surprised by the amount of men that would ask me if I was married, when I replied no, they wanted to know why I was wearing a ring on the ring finger. I said because the ring fits better and it’s comfortable. Then I would hear you’ll never meet anyone wearing a ring. My response, I never said I wanted to meet anyone

[Chava61]

Originally Posted by Remington Steel

Mmmm…I’m pretty sure at least 95% of men who married within the last day say 40 years has had a wedding band whether they wear it or not. Your dad is in that 5%. You can get a cheap gold wedding band for under $100. You never said “why” your dad never had one so I won’t assume he couldn’t afford one.

It never occurred for me to ask my dad before my parents separated. He did wear while he was married under his clothing a gold necklace with a religious symbol given to him by my mother.

Originally Posted by jbgusa

Tradition.

Perhaps the tradition depends on where one's family came from. My paternal grandfather also never wore a wedding ring either although he did wear a personalized "pinkie" gold ring made from the intertwining of his 3 initials. (I was told that cooked spaghetti was used as "model" to make the finished ring.)

[jbgusa]

Originally Posted by HeyYa80s

and tradition can be broken...

Usually their are good reasons for tradition. Not to say it shouldn't be broken or evolve, but with care and for reasons.

[CAKD]

Rings are an interesting social experiment when you think about it.

When my husband and I first got engaged 32 years ago, he expressed he didnt want to wear a ring. He thought it was uncomfortable when he tried it on white ring shopping and that it was a waste of money because he would not wear it.

I was a bit offended that he wasn't "willing" to wear it.

He had a ring put on his finger during out wedding ceremony 33 years ago and has only taken it off about two times that I am aware of.

1. He sliced his ring finger open with a knife and it required stitches. Boy did that ER staff have a time getting it off his already swollen and splayed open finger, but they did. He didnt wear it for about two months while the finger healed and the swelling subsided.

2. He recently took it off for a reason I can't recall at the moment. I was with him and we both laughed at the indentation that was left upon its removal.


My daughter who is 24 and gets a lot of unsolicited attention from men, started wearing a "faux" wedding ring because she doesn't want to be hit on by men. Now she gets dually annoyed at the amount of men who disregard the ring and almost see it as a challenge.

[TashaPosh]

Originally Posted by CAKD

My daughter who is 24 and gets a lot of unsolicited attention from men, started wearing a "faux" wedding ring because she doesn't want to be hit on by men. Now she gets dually annoyed at the amount of men who disregard the ring and almost see it as a challenge.

IMO, this is silly. Men who are worth getting to know & have anything to offer for a healthy relationship aren’t going to waste their time on a woman that is wearing a wedding ring OR if she says she is not interested. It’s like some ppl weirdly think men force relationships on married women…but once you have said no, that’s stalking. It’s not normal. It has nothing to do with a wedding ring so why lie about it. I’d be notifying the police.

[SnazzyB]

There are men who don't give a toss about whether a woman is 'taken' or not, just as their are women who don't care if a man is 'taken' or not.

Sometimes women (and I suppose men) wear a ring on their ring finger because they don't want to deal with the hassle of people hitting on them. But if the ring is not doing the trick, than one might as well take it off, rather than trying to fake it.

[TashaPosh]

Originally Posted by SnazzyB

There are men who don't give a toss about whether a woman is 'taken' or not, just as their are women who don't care if a man is 'taken' or not.

Sometimes women (and I suppose men) wear a ring on their ring finger because they don't want to deal with the hassle of people hitting on them. But if the ring is not doing the trick, than one might as well take it off, rather than trying to fake it.

But how is it hassle? Because somebody talked to them or asked them to have a coffee or glass of wine? Just say you aren’t interested or don’t stop to talk to ppl. It makes no sense to me to lie about being married…BUT, if that’s what you want to do, you do you. IMO tho, wedding rings are more about a gift to each other of love & commitment. They aren’t about other ppl anyway. You can say no without buying a ring for yourself. I never heard of that until this forum.

How do ppl do that without lying to all of their friends & coworkers or it’s like saying you are only wearing it for the strangers you meet at the grocery store? That makes no sense to me. If somebody won’t you leave alone, it’s harassment. It’s not “hitting on you”.

[SnazzyB]

Originally Posted by TashaPosh

But how is it hassle? Because somebody talked to them or asked them to have a coffee or glass of wine? Just say you aren’t interested or don’t stop to talk to ppl. It makes no sense to me to lie about being married…BUT, if that’s what you want to do, you do you. IMO tho, wedding rings are more about a gift to each other of love & commitment. They aren’t about other ppl anyway. You can say no without buying a ring for yourself. I never heard of that until this forum.

How do ppl do that without lying to all of their friends & coworkers or it’s like saying you are only wearing it for the strangers you meet at the grocery store? That makes no sense to me. If somebody won’t you leave alone, it’s harassment. It’s not “hitting on you”.

Yes. Sometimes it IS a hassle, when guys won't take no for an answer, and insist on monopolizing their time and so forth. "Not interested" doesn't always work, and they get tired of dodging come-ons and approaches.

And if you're in a bar or restaurant, just trying to have a quiet drink, or hear the band, or enjoy a meal in peace, you can be a sitting duck. If a ring keeps people from circling in, than why not?

Edited to add...I believe that most guys would take a nicely worded rejection just fine. But there are guys out there, who say, have been drinking or whatever, and they do not take 'no' kindly. They take rejection personally, and get angry. It's a shame that THOSE kind of guys don't respect a woman's autonomy to make her own choices, but those guys are out there, and they respect the idea of someone else 'owning' us, and therefore respect the ring.

[TashaPosh]

Originally Posted by SnazzyB

And if you're in a bar or restaurant, just trying to have a quiet drink, or hear the band, or enjoy a meal in peace, you can be a sitting duck. If a ring keeps people from circling in, then why not?

Well…when I’m in bars or restaurants, I’m with friends or on a date with my husband now that I’m married. I have never felt like a sitting duck but I have never had a reason to be in a bar or restaurant by myself. You can always leave or get the help of other ppl if somebody is harassing you. But I always found that when a man approached me…they go on their way quickly when they are turned down nicely. They don’t want to make a scene ofc. If they don’t, you could text a friend or boyfriend & tell him that’s what you’re doing. Snap a picture of him if he is persisting or won’t take no. Include it with the text that this is the man who is harassing you.

Originally Posted by SnazzyB

Edited to add...I believe that most guys would take a nicely worded rejection just fine. But there are guys out there, who say, have been drinking or whatever, and they do not take 'no' kindly. They take rejection personally, and get angry.

Yes..but you can get the bartender’s help…or friends & other guys that are there. Places I’ve always gone to won’t tolerate stuff like that. AND…if they are drunk or a stalker, a wedding ring isn’t going to do anything anyway. So…it still makes no sense to me.

Originally Posted by SnazzyB

It's a shame that THOSE kind of guys don't respect a woman's autonomy to make her own choices, but those guys are out there, and they respect the idea of someone else 'owning' us, and therefore respect the ring.

Those type of men don’t matter to me tho. I would never have bought a fake wedding ring for that. It’s more important to me that my husband respect his ring & his promise made to me because he loves me. AND I respect mine, because I love him so much. Our wedding rings are just a symbol of commitment to each other…they aren’t about other ppl.

[Gerania]

Originally Posted by jbgusa

Tradition.

I remember that song. My mother saw the show on Broadway. I think that's why my husband wanted a ring. His father and dear uncle wore one. He couldn't wear it all of the time because of his job, but did more often than not.