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Well…when I’m in bars or restaurants, I’m with friends or on a date with my husband now that I’m married. I have never felt like a sitting duck but I have never had a reason to be in a bar or restaurant by myself. You can always leave or get the help of other ppl if somebody is harassing you. But I always found that when a man approached me…they go on their way quickly when they are turned down nicely. They don’t want to make a scene ofc. If they don’t, you could text a friend or boyfriend & tell him that’s what you’re doing. Snap a picture of him if he is persisting or won’t take no. Include it with the text that this is the man who is harassing you.
Yes..but you can get the bartender’s help…or friends & other guys that are there. Places I’ve always gone to won’t tolerate stuff like that. AND…if they are drunk or a stalker, a wedding ring isn’t going to do anything anyway. So…it still makes no sense to me.
Those type of men don’t matter to me tho. I would never have bought a fake wedding ring for that. It’s more important to me that my husband respect his ring & his promise made to me because he loves me. AND I respect mine, because I love him so much. Our wedding rings are just a symbol of commitment to each other…they aren’t about other ppl.
Good God! OR, you can wear a ring when you go out
Some people want to keep it simple Tasha.
I often wondered why many (and when I say many, I mean a substantially more number than women) married men don't wear their wedding bands. I have heard the old adage that men "don't like to wear any jewelry". I understand that, but that always seemed like a weak excuse considering if their spouse wears their's 95% of the time. Any thoughts on this?
Now a top jeweler is selling engagement rings for men..
A lot of men don't wear one because it's a valid occupational and/or sports hazard. A lot of other men will use that as an excuse.
I've always worn one, and when I outgrew it (weight!) or damaged it (see above), got a new one. Just don't feel 'dressed' without it. If I wasn't married I'd probably still wear something on that finger.
I expect some guys have loose rings they can take off to 'cheat'. But not all. I'm wearing one on my left hand now (see above) that hasn't been on my right hand in close to a year... and you can still see there used to be a ring there.
Married man here. It's on my finger unless I'm doing electrical work or mechanical work with moving parts. Otherwise, 24/7, 33 years. Fortunately I don't change weight a lot, and my joints haven't swollen with arthritis.
There is symbolism about the plain round gold wedding ring, which I like and am aware of.
Married man here. It's on my finger unless I'm doing electrical work or mechanical work with moving parts. Otherwise, 24/7, 33 years. Fortunately I don't change weight a lot, and my joints haven't swollen with arthritis.
There is symbolism about the plain round gold wedding ring, which I like and am aware of.
I agree rabbit33. I like seeing that gold band on my husband's finger. :-)
Rings are an interesting social experiment when you think about it.
When my husband and I first got engaged 32 years ago, he expressed he didnt want to wear a ring. He thought it was uncomfortable when he tried it on white ring shopping and that it was a waste of money because he would not wear it.
I was a bit offended that he wasn't "willing" to wear it.
He had a ring put on his finger during out wedding ceremony 33 years ago and has only taken it off about two times that I am aware of.
1. He sliced his ring finger open with a knife and it required stitches. Boy did that ER staff have a time getting it off his already swollen and splayed open finger, but they did. He didnt wear it for about two months while the finger healed and the swelling subsided.
2. He recently took it off for a reason I can't recall at the moment. I was with him and we both laughed at the indentation that was left upon its removal.
My daughter who is 24 and gets a lot of unsolicited attention from men, started wearing a "faux" wedding ring because she doesn't want to be hit on by men. Now she gets dually annoyed at the amount of men who disregard the ring and almost see it as a challenge.
Growing up, my Dad and then stepfather wore it regularly. I just took it for granted that that was what men did.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gerania
I remember that song. My mother saw the show on Broadway. I think that's why my husband wanted a ring. His father and dear uncle wore one. He couldn't wear it all of the time because of his job, but did more often than not.
And tradition is why I just took it for granted that that was what men did.
IMO, this is silly. Men who are worth getting to know & have anything to offer for a healthy relationship aren’t going to waste their time on a woman that is wearing a wedding ring OR if she says she is not interested. It’s like some ppl weirdly think men force relationships on married women…but once you have said no, that’s stalking. It’s not normal. It has nothing to do with a wedding ring so why lie about it. I’d be notifying the police.
Notifying police? Various Men repeatedly asking you out isn't stalking. She works in a field where she is in contact all day long with men in the corporate world who bombard her with unsolicited attention. If you are dealing with that for 8 hours plus a day then even think of going out with friends in the evening and it happens there too then ya I think you would tire of it and it become extremely annoying.
Yes. Sometimes it IS a hassle, when guys won't take no for an answer, and insist on monopolizing their time and so forth. "Not interested" doesn't always work, and they get tired of dodging come-ons and approaches.
And if you're in a bar or restaurant, just trying to have a quiet drink, or hear the band, or enjoy a meal in peace, you can be a sitting duck. If a ring keeps people from circling in, than why not?
Edited to add...I believe that most guys would take a nicely worded rejection just fine. But there are guys out there, who say, have been drinking or whatever, and they do not take 'no' kindly. They take rejection personally, and get angry. It's a shame that THOSE kind of guys don't respect a woman's autonomy to make her own choices, but those guys are out there, and they respect the idea of someone else 'owning' us, and therefore respect the ring.
My daughter has had men who she doesn't even recall working with throughout her day find her on Facebook and message her. I think some people underestimate what people, men and female will do.
I will add, Many of these men are married themselves.
We aren't talking about a bar pick up. Professionals in many fields, Doctors, lawyers, CEO's. She deals with them all.
Location: As of 2022….back to SoCal. OC this time!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CAKD
Notifying police? Various Men repeatedly asking you out isn't stalking. She works in a field where she is in contact all day long with men in the corporate world who bombard her with unsolicited attention.
I had lots of men ask me out when I was single & working in a hospital. If I wasn’t interested, I said no. I never had a problem with it AND IMO, doctors or corporate types are not going to bombard or harass women at work. It’s not like everybody can keep circling or not take no for an answer like Snazzy said. There are too many other ppl around & rules in place. So…I still say buying yourself a wedding ring is silly because the type of man that both of you are talking about isn’t going to care about a wedding ring anyway. I’d get the help of a friend or talk to him & turn on my phone to record him before I would buy a fake ring. Document everything. Because “repeatedly” asking you out & not taking no for an answer like Snazzy said is harassment & stalking. He is not mentally stable. It would be super unusual to meet 1 or 2 of that type at work…but all day long with various men? Um..Ok.
IMO, if a newly married couple wants to give or wear wedding rings, it is up to them AND about each other. It’s not for other ppl anyway.
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