Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Thanks for the replies and suggestions. I understand the grass will not always be greener wherever you go, however there is really something wrong with this country when it comes to race, and I just do not see why it has come to that.
If you read this link, Obama’s global star power finds limits - Washington Post- msnbc.com , it shows our president is more popular in the world then he is in our own country. Floyd Mayweather won a huge fight yesterday, and I can not tell you how many times I have heard my white counterparts rooting for the Latino guy to win, because in there opinion they think he is too cocky. I remember in some of my past relationships with woman here and that is often a word they use to describe me. I guess most white Americans just can not distinguish cockiness with confidence, because I will tell you if a white man acts as "cocky" as I do, he will be described as confident and being a leader.
Mr. Mayweather summed everything up in this article by ESPN last week Floyd Mayweather: Race a factor in how he's viewed - ESPN. It really feels that way as a black man in America. You might say that I agree with his view because I have not had any success with American women in this country. However why am I treated much, much differently as a black man when I go to a countries like Germany, France, Spain and England. It is unacceptable if you tell me, especially after years of injustice and persecution this nation has committed upon black men and women.
As far as women overseas being more friendly to you - Haven't you ever noticed that women here (in the USA) extend the same type of friendliness to men that come from overseas?
Haven't you ever noticed that women here (and even men) are simply interested in meeting people from another country. It's sort of a learning experience, and at the same time, it's simply showing hospitality to a visitor.
Maybe that is why you, and every other guy (white or black) that travels overseas (or even to another state or city) come back with the stories about how easy women are in this place or that.
I'm going to be blunt with you - You are just continuing the same complaint that African Americans continuously have that racism is just a way of life for whites here.
Black people are 15% of the population of this country - Whites are about 68% of the population. We have a black President. In many towns and cities, there are black mayors and black local leaders from predominately white areas.
Can you say the same about cities and towns where blacks are dominant? How about Atlanta? You know, where that notorious memo went out reminding black politicians that there was a threat to the community because a white woman is running for mayor?
Are you really just continuing this guilt trip toward whites that anything and everything that they do or say (related to blacks) is done with the presence of racism - without exception?
And if you want to present the argument that 50% of the whites did not vote for Obama - Well excuse us!...Typically in any Presidential race some people vote against one candidate or another...It's not about race, it's about political leanings.
But of course from a race sensitive black position, each and every vote against Obama was a racist vote - without exception. And I don't have to stipulate each and every "white" vote - because I could literally count each and every black vote against him on my fingers...Nothing to do with racism there though!
And, how much of a difference is there between cockiness and self-confidence? To the self-confident individual there is a big difference - But to others dealing with them, there may be little or no discernible difference (especially if they are meeting that person for the first time).
I think the real problem with race these days does not stem from whites - I think that with the increasing opportunities now given to blacks in many public positions (President, Justice Department, Congress, local communities...etc. etc.) the scrutiny and criticism that have always been part of those positions are being excused away with what blacks have become too dependent on - Racism.
And to African American guys like you, that anticipate entitlement to increased opportunities for relationships with white women - I've got some shocking news for you - Almost every white guy in the world strikes out with almost every white woman he approaches. That's why bars and single clubs do such a good business. That's why most of us end up in a relationship with one woman... And not the woman we think we really deserve.
Many non-black women respect and adore black men. That's evident from the high percentage of black male-white female interracial dating relationships.
Maybe you're the type of African American male that strives hard to portray a more Caucasian image. What I mean by that is there are many African American professional males that take drastic measures to distance themselves from anything ethnic, Afro-centric or cultural in an effort to be accepted by whites and/or assimilate into society. If that's the case, many non-black women are probably not attracted to you, since, if they're interested in dating an African American man, they choose to date one that's more Afrocentric, virile and masculine; a brother with flavor. Many people prefer to date people that are self-assured, have self respect, past the identity crisis phase and know who they are. Higher-level education has very little to do with it. Personality and character are very important. I'm generalizing, however, it's difficult to discuss such a topic without being potentially offensive.
Thanks for the replies and suggestions. I understand the grass will not always be greener wherever you go, however there is really something wrong with this country when it comes to race, and I just do not see why it has come to that.
If you read this link, Obama’s global star power finds limits - Washington Post- msnbc.com , it shows our president is more popular in the world then he is in our own country. Floyd Mayweather won a huge fight yesterday, and I can not tell you how many times I have heard my white counterparts rooting for the Latino guy to win, because in there opinion they think he is too cocky. I remember in some of my past relationships with woman here and that is often a word they use to describe me. I guess most white Americans just can not distinguish cockiness with confidence, because I will tell you if a white man acts as "cocky" as I do, he will be described as confident and being a leader.
Mr. Mayweather summed everything up in this article by ESPN last week Floyd Mayweather: Race a factor in how he's viewed - ESPN. It really feels that way as a black man in America. You might say that I agree with his view because I have not had any success with American women in this country. However why am I treated much, much differently as a black man when I go to a countries like Germany, France, Spain and England. It is unacceptable if you tell me, especially after years of injustice and persecution this nation has committed upon black men and women.
I agree to some extent with the context of your post. Most White Americans do not like seeing Blacks as confident or very sure of themselves. Obama has been called a
Narcissist, but McCain and Bush do the same and their seen as Mavericks. The Serena Sisters had to deal with Whites cheering for the other side for years and they were seen as too cocky, too sure of themselves and not humble enough. It goes back to the yassa massa, right away sir culture that existed before Civil Rights wins in the mid 60’s. Before then many Blacks were virtually invisible to Whites.
Where it differs is the fact that that due to Black American Music, Culture, art and Civil Rights, being a Black American male with populations that have small percentages of Blacks, will make you a rock star. Your exotic potential is what is attractive, whereas African immigrants in many parts of Europe etc are seen as in similar ways that Black Americans are to Whites here. I have met some Black expats who move to Europe and although they may not have to deal with a lot of racial hang-ups like in America, the honeymoon was over in some respects, when they could use their American star pull loses luster, once they became citizens/residents of those countries.
Also White American Males, enjoy a similar rock star aura when they travel to various countries in Asia. Culturally, there is a plethora of positive reinforcements, coupled with many ads in these countries selling products, movies, etc of White men looking strong and attractive; therefore they will enjoy a huge boost of women throwing themselves at them, that they may not have in America. This explains the whole Mail Order bride in places like Eastern Europe, Asia, and Russia.
To some extent, I get this vibe from Black men that dating White women provides some source of inner validation. Sorry, but to me that reeks of self-hatred.
Because in this country, by and large, dating within one's own ethnic group is seen as a given. It is expected that women who share your ethnicity would be more inclined to make themselves romantically available to you here. The OP senses that women of other ethnicities are likewise attracted to him, but somehow less willing to extend this "availability" to him. Upon visiting other countries, however, the OP (like many well-traveled black men) appears to find much less resistance on the part of women of other ethnicities, making these women much more approachable than their stateside counterparts. This naturally leads him to question the distinction.
Well, here's the thing about it: Dating with someone who has his head straight and is going places in life is seen as a given...for women of MOST races. When it comes to most black women, even those who are "professional," they'll run to the thugs, gangstas, and rapper-wannabes. Most other black women who don't fit into this category avoid ALL black men altogether. The attraction to a delinquent loser (not a smooth suave dude who is very confident and knows who he is, or an anti-hero bad*** who's clearly confident and doesn't take crap from anyone) but the attraction to ghetto or trailer trash is a problem for American women in general, but worse for blacks, leaving black men who are non-stereotypical and professional with limited choices. And especially seeing how racially "conscious" and anti-black male the East Coast is (it isn't like I can move to Denver, Seattle, or San Diego tomorrow, at the present time anyway), it's an uphill battle for assimilated black dudes. We shouldn't have to face excessive barriers from dating ANYONE as long as the female's personality is compatible with the male's, no more than what white men are dating, but it seems that there's always a "reason" why non-black women wouldn't or shouldn't be interested in non-ghetto black men, most of which I've noticed are coming from posters from the East Coast, extremely liberal, or extremely conservative places.
My suggestion for non-stereotypical black dudes is to go to Libertarian places where they truly live by "Live and Let Live" and not by either "feeling sorry yet fearing black men you feel should rather suck the teat of welfare than have a $100K job" or "attempt by all causes to resurrect the 1950s (or better yet 1850s) and all of the "good ol' things" about it."
But two questions and a note for the OP:
-Which part of the country do you live in? This could critically affect the racial attitudes of most women (or just the attitudes of women in general).
-Why didn't you marry the girls you had a long relationship with in the other countries? It seemed like the perfect match and you dropped the ball on it.
-Floyd Mayweather portrays the black stereotype very flamboyantly. Now if the same experience was experienced from someone like Lennox Lewis, then the stories would have more weight.
Last edited by Do a Barrel Roll; 09-21-2009 at 01:33 AM..
Well, here's the thing about it: Dating with someone who has his head straight and is going places in life is seen as a given...for women of MOST races. When it comes to most black women, even those who are "professional," they'll run to the thugs, gangstas, and rapper-wannabes. Most other black women who don't fit into this category avoid ALL black men altogether. The attraction to a delinquent loser (not a smooth suave dude who is very confident and knows who he is, or an anti-hero bad*** who's clearly confident and doesn't take crap from anyone) but the attraction to ghetto or trailer trash is a problem for American women in general, but worse for blacks, leaving black men who are non-stereotypical and professional with limited choices. And especially seeing how racially "conscious" and anti-black male the East Coast is (it isn't like I can move to Denver, Seattle, or San Diego tomorrow, at the present time anyway), it's an uphill battle for assimilated black dudes. We shouldn't have to face excessive barriers from dating ANYONE as long as the female's personality is compatible with the male's, no more than what white men are dating, but it seems that there's always a "reason" why non-black women wouldn't or shouldn't be interested in non-ghetto black men, most of which I've noticed are coming from posters from the East Coast, extremely liberal, or extremely conservative places.
My suggestion for non-stereotypical black dudes is to go to Libertarian places where they truly live by "Live and Let Live" and not by either "feeling sorry yet fearing black men you feel should rather suck the teat of welfare than have a $100K job" or "attempt by all causes to resurrect the 1950s (or better yet 1850s) and all of the "good ol' things" about it."
But two questions and a note for the OP:
-Which part of the country do you live in? This could critically affect the racial attitudes of most women (or just the attitudes of women in general).
-Why didn't you marry the girls you had a long relationship with in the other countries? It seemed like the perfect match and you dropped the ball on it.
-Floyd Mayweather portrays the black stereotype very flamboyantly. Now if the same experience was experienced from someone like Lennox Lewis, then the stories would have more weight.
Men who aren't uber-macho tend to get the short end of the stick in most of the western world, so it's less about race and more about value systems. America loves aggression.
I was curious if black women won't date him, either.
Who are these people rating him on his looks and intelligence?
I've never paid much attention to whether or not women respect me, or like me, or are hitting on me. It seems rather odd that the OP is so tuned into that.
I was curious if black women won't date him, either.
Who are these people rating him on his looks and intelligence?
From his first post, I got the distinct impression that he wasn't interested in dating any black women. He seems to only want to date interracially, and even then, it's only for the sake of sexual conquest, not to find a woman to marry. Otherwise, he could have married that Japanese woman.
I feel that he flirts too much and possibly in certain situations, he flirts with every beautiful woman he sees. And some of his problem is that perhaps some of this women know each other, or sees that he is actively flirting with everyone... and this comes across to them as the O.P. trying to be a player and not being interested in having a serious relationship with anyone. So at work or the clubs he goes to, behind his back, he is known by all the women as a Romeo. They hold back because they aren't interested in being played by him.
He'd have more success if he was able to be good platonic friends with a number of beautiful women, and then to be very selective about which one he tries to have a serious romantic relationship with.
I should add that I do think that women do enjoy flirting with the O.P., but for women, flirting is enough. We don't actually need to sleep with every man that we flirt with in order to feel good about ourselves.
Also, women, especially beautiful women do get a LOT of men flirting with them. Men just have a stronger sex drive. But women also don't want to get a reputation for being an easy conquest or to be labeled a sl*t. For a man, sleeping with a lot of beautiful women is something to be proud of, but the opposite is true for women. Women who sleep around are looked down on by society.
Lastly, my thoughts are that a beautiful intelligent woman with class is very selective about who she will date. And she will only pick men that she considers good marriage material. I believe that the way the O.P. is flirting with these women is only flattering their looks and promising them a good time. He's not suggesting to any of them that they are his soulmate that he wants to marry and have kids with.
As several other people have pointed out, even handsome and intelligent white guys get turned down a lot by beautiful women. Even if the flirting sessions are going well, it doesn't mean that a handsome white guy is going to score with every women he meets.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
