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Not much you can do for a cold dead stiff corpse- The person is not in that body--so why make a scene over dead meat? No you should not having "feelings" for the "departed loved ones"------------They are DEAD they don't need your feelings...
Funerals and grief are not for the benefit of the dead. Humans generally form bonds with other living creatures. When those bonds are broken by death it is natural to grieve that loss. The feelings off loss arise because someone you love is gone permanently from your life (at least on earth) and you will miss their presence. Not because the dead need or want anything from you. I have a strong feeling I'm wasting my time trying to explain a concept to you that I thought was pretty fundamental and universal. Guess not.
The thing is, I do feel a great deal of empathy. I'm just feeling it toward the children or other people who aren't getting the chance to feel their own grief. That's the point I keep bringing up that no one is really fully addressing.
I understand.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ParallelJJCat
Yes...I have no issue with grieving deeply for the loss of a pet. I cried every night for a year after my cat Nic died and I still can't think of him without tearing up instantly. He was my 'soul cat'...we just fit together. JJ, my current cat, is basically my kid. He's needed a lot of care and attention because he has medical problems. When I lose him I already know it's going to just completely rip me apart.
It will sound creepy, but one of my favorite things to do as a vet tech was preparing euthanized animals to go home with their owners. I would wash them, dry them, comb them, glue their eyes shut...the goal was to make the animal look like it was sleeping. It was one last thing I could do to help make the process easier for the owners.
Doesn't sound creepy to me at all. I think it's very gracious of you to do so much work for the family. I would appreciate it immensley.
I still well up over each and every pet I have ever had. They were precious to me in their own unique way.
Not much you can do for a cold dead stiff corpse- The person is not in that body--so why make a scene over dead meat? No you should not having "feelings" for the "departed loved ones"------------They are DEAD they don't need your feelings...
The Christian message is to have feelings for the living--It's easy to have feelings for the dead- good ones and bad ones- the dead do not argue or compete..
Went to Korean Catholic funeral...a "business" associate was grasping the corpse in the coffin and letting out loud laments and soaking the dead guy in tears-----------All I could think of was- That guys sure likes to put on a show....The grieving friend was not really "hysterical" - He was acting....
People care at funerals for lots of reasons. They cry for themselves, they cry out of guilt or because they are shell shocked by what just happened. If you really want to take a Christian message to heart you wouldn't be judging others. Isn't that suppose to be God's job? Not many of us can look at the body of someone we've loved for decades and think of them as "dead meat". Your crude language here makes me wonder if you've ever lost someone really close to you.
I think even years later after you think you are done with grieving it comes out as anger or hysteria.
This is why people should talk about thier grief and not throw it under the rug.
These days people do not or are not given the time to grieve because we are such a busy stressed out world which is very sad to me
I had to go back to work one week after my husband died. How can anyone resolve their pain in one week??? Never mind the pain, all the other stuff one has to do after the death of a spouse?
I got a break when our store closed down 3 months after his death and I got the time I needed but 3 days after re-opening I decided to quit. Some co-workers were the same but new management that didn't know me from a hole-in-the wall and didn't go through my husband's illness and death with me just prompted me to quit and I feel so much better.
I had to go back to work one week after my husband died. How can anyone resolve their pain in one week??? Never mind the pain, all the other stuff one has to do after the death of a spouse?
I got a break when our store closed down 3 months after his death and I got the time I needed but 3 days after re-opening I decided to quit. Some co-workers were the same but new management that didn't know me from a hole-in-the wall and didn't go through my husband's illness and death with me just prompted me to quit and I feel so much better.
No, I shouldn't have had to but it was my choice. What I do feel bad about is that a couple of the kids followed my lead and quit too. Oh, the new management is terrible. I either was an excuse or a "push". I was very well liked by my co-workers and I feel bad that my action caused their REactions.
I sound like a cruel brute..okay I cry once every 44 years...Okay I will explain what I am really talking about...Back when my eldest daughter was about 11 years old..She had trouble seeing - the doctor suggested that we take her down to Sick Children's Hospital in Toronto...a world class facility.
They did some testing and the doctor came out into the hall and said that my daughter has an inoperable brain tumor on her brain stem..Her mother fainted to the floor and was later in hysterics- I did not even twitch or show a drop of emotion. Some one had to stay rock solid for my daughter- Hysterics would have been destructive.
Not once did I show fear or panic let along hysterics...In the presence of my daughter especially...to show doubt or fear would have instilled a negative energy in my child- It would have been an immediate display of defeat...The daughter went through a number of surgeries and treatments- NOT once did she shed a tear or show fear...I sat with her for weeks at the hospital sleeping there on the cot provided...She recovered fully and is a contributing member of society--Her name is Faith.
To this day she is a fearless individual and lives life as if each day is her last- Today she is on a Red Cross mission up north- her usual job is working for an NGO- that resists child slave labor...
Tears mixed with fear can be a deadly combination- Hysteria is panic- an that can also prove to be deadly.
I sound like a cruel brute..okay I cry once every 44 years...Okay I will explain what I am really talking about...Back when my eldest daughter was about 11 years old..She had trouble seeing - the doctor suggested that we take her down to Sick Children's Hospital in Toronto...a world class facility.
They did some testing and the doctor came out into the hall and said that my daughter has an inoperable brain tumor on her brain stem..Her mother fainted to the floor and was later in hysterics- I did not even twitch or show a drop of emotion. Some one had to stay rock solid for my daughter- Hysterics would have been destructive.
Not once did I show fear or panic let along hysterics...In the presence of my daughter especially...to show doubt or fear would have instilled a negative energy in my child- It would have been an immediate display of defeat...The daughter went through a number of surgeries and treatments- NOT once did she shed a tear or show fear...I sat with her for weeks at the hospital sleeping there on the cot provided...She recovered fully and is a contributing member of society--Her name is Faith.
To this day she is a fearless individual and lives life as if each day is her last- Today she is on a Red Cross mission up north- her usual job is working for an NGO- that resists child slave labor...
Tears mixed with fear can be a deadly combination- Hysteria is panic- an that can also prove to be deadly.
Interesting story. Glad your daughter had a good outcome. I have noticed many times over my life that there's always one strong member of a family who holds things together for every member who falls apart. I guess it's that old opposite attracts thing. Most of us---I believe---fall some where in the middle: we can be strong when we need to be but we can show emotion in a appropriate way and/or when we're not wearing our public face.
Interesting story. Glad your daughter had a good outcome. I have noticed many times over my life that there's always one strong member of a family who holds things together for every member who falls apart. I guess it's that old opposite attracts thing. Most of us---I believe---fall some where in the middle: we can be strong when we need to be but can show emotion when appropriate and/or when we're not wearing our public face.
Might just have a cold steak- but deep down I am a softy...Calm during an emergency or a funeral is needed to keep order. For instance when one of the kids broke their ankle skate boarding - I had to stay sound--it was gross- you could see the bone trying to break through...or when my son tripped holding a glass and gashed his hand...I explained to him if he got hysterical - his heart would pump out more blood...He got the concept.
Funerals...if they are family that has passed most how nurse the person are prepared for the death.. I really don't understand what people are thinking when they wail away- especially if it is not a family member?
As for normal sorrow and tears...all I remember about intense weeping is- If I allowed myself to think about the state of the world and all those in it- I could fall to the ground and weep myself to death- Most of us truly care- but crying- or hysteria....well- it does not help...
In the alternative I probably need a good cry..but it would have to be some where desolate..private- out in the woods....Holding things in forever is unheathy..a good cry is like a reset...Sometimes I think that those who go into hysterics at funerals are in a state of terror for themselves- that seeing death is just to much for them- They cry for themselves. Again- not much you can do about it------all of us will die in time....THAT does effect me..because humans are such a miracle and creatures of great beauty---that lifes end is tragic.............that is were faith comes in- to over come death and the fear of possibly becoming nothing.
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I either was an excuse or a "push". I was very well liked by my co-workers and I feel bad that my action caused their REactions.
