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What other family does he have, and what kind of relationship do you have with them? Are you his beneficiary? Does he have any assets?
I would approach this from the angle of protecting yourself first. Make sure you are not taking any actions out of guilt or regret. Above all, do not let anyone else guilt you into anything you are not comfortable with.
Oh my word. I feel so terrible for you. Separated or not, it is an awful duty that is expected of you. And, separated or not, it will continue taking an emotional toll on you for years to come.
I think the first thing to really tell yourself is that you do not bear any responsibility for what he did. I know that's easier said than done, but survivors of those who commit suicide almost always blame themselves. You should really seek counseling when this is all said and done.
As far as everything else is concerned, talk to his banker, but let the funeral director handle matters. Just make sure you aren't gouged on the price.
Oh my word. I feel so terrible for you. Separated or not, it is an awful duty that is expected of you. And, separated or not, it will continue taking an emotional toll on you for years to come.
I think the first thing to really tell yourself is that you do not bear any responsibility for what he did. I know that's easier said than done, but survivors of those who commit suicide almost always blame themselves. You should really seek counseling when this is all said and done.
As far as everything else is concerned, talk to his banker, but let the funeral director handle matters. Just make sure you aren't gouged on the price.
Ok....I'm so worried about this. I feel so sorry for him as I never wanted to be with him again with his demons, but, I'm sick that he ended his life with a shot in the head.
Maybe this will help? Some of the questions my apply... Separation and Divorce: Death and Its Implications
Do you have an access to his home? Maybe you will find some documents there.
Did he work? Maybe he had an insurance?
This is quite a shock and maybe I should have put this under non romantic since we were separated for a year. I just found out that my husband shot and killed himself last night and I'm very sad for him. Needless to say he was a hardcore abusive alcoholic, but, I had hoped he would find a peaceful way in his life not this. I am his closest family member and I need to make all the arrangements, but, I'm confused how I find out if he had money in his checkbook since he lived several states away to pay for funeral expenses. I need to make all the arrangements and becoming a a widow in my 40's was not in my plans. Uggg...but help.
Are you sure you can legally pursue any of this since you are/were in the middle of a divorce and you live with your boyfriend in another state?
Doesn't he has siblings who may have the actual legal responsibility to do all of this?
I am really sorry you are dealing with this. It sounds like his demons took over and he felt no way out of his addiction.
If he has a current will, then whoever was named executor can take over. It gets complicated if he didn't have a will.
Are you legally separated, as in - had paper drawn up with an attorney? If you have, those papers may clearly state that you are NOT in any way responsible for each other's bills or entitled to each other's property. If you are legally separated, you need to contact your attorney to find out what you legally are and are not responsible for. It most likely would be very difficult for you to do something as simple as write a check out to a funeral home (from your ex's account) if you name is not on the account. You really need legal assistance.
How were you notified of his death? Did that person contact you because you were still listed as your ex's emergency contact? If he had you as his emergency contact, then maybe he has you listed as his beneficiary on some of his other legal paperwork.
As others have mentioned, it would be so much better if one of his family members could handle this.
Funeral Directors can often be a great source of guidance.
I am really sorry you are going through this. Let us know how things proceed. I know I wasn't of much help but at least you know we all care about your situation.
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