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Location: West of the Catalinas East of the Tortolitas
4,922 posts, read 8,575,923 times
Reputation: 8044
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I am so sorry for your loss. I'm sorry his family will be of no help. That's hard for you. A simple cremation and plain urn shouldn't cost more than about $1000.00. The first thing you'll need to find his Will, then find out if he named you as his Executrix and/or beneficiary. If you're not his Executrix, then your job is done. It's up to the Executor to handle cremation/burial, funeral, and other arrangements as outlined in his will; obtain from an attorney Letters Testamentary, and get from the County, certified copies of his death certificate. Then the Executor can begin to sort out his estate and make distributions per his requests. If it's you that's the Executrix, before you do anything, you should hire an Estate attorney and let them guide you as to each step you need to take. I wish you peace and comfort during this deeply emotional time.
Location: West of the Catalinas East of the Tortolitas
4,922 posts, read 8,575,923 times
Reputation: 8044
Quote:
Originally Posted by zentropa
He has no family? If he owned a home he will have life insurance, or perhaps he is insured through his employer? I would assume that you are the beneficiary.
Unless you are listed as an account holder, you will not be able to access his bank account without a death certificate, a notice placed in the paper to alert his creditors (then wait a month for them to come forward to collect) and a bunch of other red tape.
Take a breath. You should post somewhere that specializes in the legalities of the death of a spouse.
This is not necessary and when done, can hold up the settlement of the Estate for up to a year or more. Also, owning a home doesn't necessarily mean he had life insurance. This is why the first thing you need to do is consult an attorney, because you need to find his Will to determine if you're his Executor. If you're not, you have nothing to do but wait for the Executor to do their job per his wishes in his Will. If he died intestate, meaning no Will, his spouse is usually the legal heir, and that would make you the one who makes funeral/burial arrangements, and settles the estate. I don't know if he died in a Community Property state, but if he did, that complicates the issue even more.
I'm quite sure he had no will, but, I'm the beneficiary on all of this pensions etc. We had made living wills together, but, now that is a mute point. We had lived apart for a year and he lived two states away and I had a restraining order in place so it is hard to know exactly what was being done. I will call the bank and find out what the protocol is for getting into his account since I know he would have just gotten paid. He was only 53 but retired at 47 to enjoy life which is so sad. I would like to see if he has any money to help pay for funeral expenses. I should end up with plenty of benefits from his pensions, but, that isn't going to pay out right away.
You are in shock even though things were not good between you. Depending on the state will depend on whether or not you need a lawyer. In FL since we shared everything I didn't need one but were I live now everything goes to probate
Sad.. if he had SS taken out they will pay $250 towards funeral not much I know but every little bit helps. My husband passed at 52 from a medical condition. One thing I learned is that you will been several certified copies of death certs. Banks and other places require them.
My husband was cremated and we had a celebration of life for him. No funeral other than family to see him one last time. That did cost but his sons and family hadn't seen him before.
Such a waste and for you, Stormy, such an imposition. Yes, you loved him once and he was a big part of your life for awhile. That all counts. But what counts more is getting on with your life. For your sake I hope all goes smoothly.
Such a waste and for you, Stormy, such an imposition. Yes, you loved him once and he was a big part of your life for awhile. That all counts. But what counts more is getting on with your life. For your sake I hope all goes smoothly.
Since I'm being left with a nice little pension I will consider that a gift for all he put me through which was considerable. We did have great times which, of course, I'm feeling so sad right now. I'm actually thinking about going to hairdressing school. I have a BS in business, but, always enjoyed hair...I don't know something to think about. I will have a small steady income and medical without actually working now.
The cremation shouldn't cost 3k unless you're doing a viewing and/or having visitation. You can save money but not doing that. Have him cremated. The ashes can be mailed to you. The memorial service doesn't have to be right away. You can plan it for next weekend or two weeks away.
If he was working, call his employer's HR department to find out if he had insurance. Most people do pay that extra few dollars for coverage. Many employers provide an insurance policy of a year's pa as a standard benefit to all employees at no charge. If he was retired, contact the HR department of the company he retired from. Companies that have pensions also have life insurance benefits for their retirees. When my sister died, she was on disability through her employer and there was a life insurance policy. I simply called the HR department and inquired.
If you are listed as the beneficiary for his life insurance, you will receive payment promptly. I someone else is listed as the beneficiary, you're out of luck unless you can appeal to the person to pay for his funeral.
You won't be able to legally touch his assets in his bank accounts until it goes through probate. The funeral director is used to this, and he waits for payment from the estate. You should not use your own money because it's unnecessary. If you do, keep all of your receipts because you'll get reimbursed by his estate.
Since I'm being left with a nice little pension I will consider that a gift for all he put me through which was considerable. We did have great times which, of course, I'm feeling so sad right now. I'm actually thinking about going to hairdressing school. I have a BS in business, but, always enjoyed hair...I don't know something to think about. I will have a small steady income and medical without actually working now.
How old are you? You can't collect on his pension or social security until you reach retirement age.
Ok....I'm so worried about this. I feel so sorry for him as I never wanted to be with him again with his demons, but, I'm sick that he ended his life with a shot in the head.
What a tragedy...I'm sorry for your loss as well as the work you will have to do, now.
Several posts have great links and advice. Having gone through the death of my mother recently, I can empathize with you, and the red-tape that goes along with this.
If you are, indeed his next of kin, then you will have to wait for the death certificate to be released before you can really do anything legally, or retain any of his assets.
In addition to advice from the funeral home, the coroner, have you considered an estate attorney?
If not, someone will have to actually go through his records and household goods. Hopefully, you can find any records of bank accounts, investments, insurance policies and the like.
Contact any neighbors or friends to perhaps discover more about this, as well as his state of mind. It sounds like you need to relieve yourself of any guilt or responsibility.
Unfortunately, both depression and addiction are problems that people don't recognize or refuse to recognize within themselves, and are not likely to seek help on their own. Please don't take this guilt on yourself...you really couldn't have saved him from himself.
Good luck, and best wishes to you during this difficult journey. Please let us know how you're doing.
People here really do care...
Dandiday
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