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Good posts to read here today. I needed that! It's once again raining here and looking for cold to be heading our way in a day or so. My girlfriend and I are going to Charlotte next Sunday to volunteer for Feral cats by wrapping peoples gifts and the money they pay will go towards feeding the feral cats including my area. I will have to miss church but I think God will understand!
I am sure God will understand. Jesus said....."even as you do unto the least of these....you do it unto me"
Although the feral cats might not think they are among the "least" your work is a blessing.
I talk about "my" dog shelter, it looks more like a cat shelter... there are rooms up front and cages/crates with glass fronts in the entry area, all occupied by cats, some very lovely looking animals. And last Wednesday I picked up an open can of cat food in the dog walking area and took it into the shelter, fearing it was poison - nope, the shelter staff had put it out and later I saw, an open cage trying to catch a feral cat (or two.. didn't get a number).
Good work Cyn, thanks for helping the homeless.
Charlotte, I stopped there for reset on one drive from NJ to Cape Coral. I drove there the end of January (would stay in Florida the month of February) in a snow storm.. that was one long drive (don't remember, maybe 600 miles). The AWD Subaru helped me cope with the road. The storm was freezing rain just south of Charlotte, but it had melted by morning - but I could see the ice in the trees along the side of the road. I did all the driving in the snow as I am a more experienced driver than my wife was, and I learned to drive in Colorado. Not sure that made me a safer driver, just one who would keep going. My first time in/near Charlotte, I was impressed by the size, a real city. Nice too you have another person to be with in your activities, I will enjoy seeing a fellow volunteer for my dog walks, he is returning from Florida now, will be back December 1.
Charlotte is most definitely a city! It scares me it's so big! I've always lived in the outskirts of any city and lots of people and cars don't mix well with me. Give me country with lots of room and critters! But for special events I will undertake the hour drive to Charlotte..it really is a beautiful city as far as cities go. And for helping those feral cats...and there are way to many here..I'm all for it!
Looks like another drizzly day here. Think I will get a few things done in the house. Can't really wash the kitchen floor with the wet outside--cats just bring it all back in. Bella my female Basset is off her eating--maybe the weather because she is in her house so much? I'll take her for a good walk today to help her work up her appetite hopefully. If it's not one it's another--oh my! Hope everyone has a blessed day!
Boy, yesterday was such a long day......I know the weather plays a big factor in that and today is drizzly rain again. I did get some things done around the house--not much but at least a start! I'm finding I have to push myself so much lately. But I am the only one that can get me through the hard times so it's once again one day at a time! Have a blessed day everyone!
Reading but have no answers or even suggestions, just shared sadness...
I told my two children that I have an invitation to join a neighbor and family for a Christmas day gathering and dinner. It is at her parent's nearby home. I have met her parents, they are a couple years younger than me. I the parents at an Easter family dinner at the neighbor's home, about 500' from my home.
Both of my children responded, but in a rather passive manner and discussions of my coming to California for the graduation of my granddaughter from high school next June, was met with less than enthusiasm by my daughter, the mother. I continue to get confirmation that my wife was "our" link to our children and now that she's gone, so am I.
While steeping in self pity I think back to my remoteness to my mother over the years from when I left home at age 18, until she died when I was 48, 30 years later. Still, I did go home to visit and think I showed more warmth... I grew up with far less parental support, financial and emotional, than did my children, One benchmark, I sent both my children through college, they graduated absent any student loan debt. My wife and I were not so lucky we both worked to put me through college. I also graduated absent any student loan debt.
Suppose not the input you need, but I just finished reading less than encouraging email from my daughter in effect saying (not in so direct terms) sure come visit but don't expect us to make any attempt to entertain/suport you, and we have some good motel recommendations. I'm yet to get the fuller readout from my son, who I believe has a room for a guest, Yes, he was inclined to stay outside our home even when my wife was alive, once his income allowed that method. Guess that's the new life-style, I'm just old fashioned. Still. it doesn't help me much as I battle with bereavement.
Jerry.....I would be inclined to write them off. They arent there for you.....so you may need to adjust your expectations and your behavior. Unless there is warm invite and genuine desire to see you.....I would write off the graduation too. That's me.
I will say that when we go to visit my sons family about once a year....we always get a hotel room....it is more comfortable for all of us.
elston,
Thanks, I can't write them off or out, but lower my expectations is accomplished. They are both successful adults measured by income/lifestyle and I know the grandchildren have both every opportunity to enjoy and learn and they seem to be doing both very well: social, athletics... guess a fulfillment of why I lived.
All my personal accomplishment will slide into infamy my genes remain and may go on for many more generations. I have to work to accept the only other person who really knew me, my successes and failures, is gone. Sadly too to me, my children have shown no interest in my writing a short (10, maybe 20 pages) biography about both my wife and I, both born into the poverty following The Great Depression and rising socially and economically to where our children are, just two generations --- but we live in a great country. I want to include some of the small personal things, the miracles - small but amazing in their own way. I would love to have the same for my mother and father.. but I'm an old guy. I will write the story even if no one reads it.
elston,
Thanks, I can't write them off or out, but lower my expectations is accomplished. They are both successful adults measured by income/lifestyle and I know the grandchildren have both every opportunity to enjoy and learn and they seem to be doing both very well: social, athletics... guess a fulfillment of why I lived.
All my personal accomplishment will slide into infamy my genes remain and may go on for many more generations. I have to work to accept the only other person who really knew me, my successes and failures, is gone. Sadly too to me, my children have shown no interest in my writing a short (10, maybe 20 pages) biography about both my wife and I, both born into the poverty following The Great Depression and rising socially and economically to where our children are, just two generations --- but we live in a great country. I want to include some of the small personal things, the miracles - small but amazing in their own way. I would love to have the same for my mother and father.. but I'm an old guy. I will write the story even if no one reads it.
Don't lose heart, Jerry. It is not unusual for our kids to become so wrapped up in their own families that they put us to the side. Really, we should be proud that we raised independent and successful kids. That is the goal, after all.
I am almost your age, and only in the past few years have I come to appreciate those who came before me, and the ways in which their values impacted my life. Now that it is too late to tell them.
Do write your story, and I bet the children will eventually appreciate it, after they are forced to come to terms with their own mortality. Right now, they are busy, and they still think they will live forever.
Right, the normalcy of this discussion is why I think the age limit to run for president of the USA should be 50, not 35. It doesn't matter how "smart" we may be, wisdom comes with experience/age. Some gain it earlier, but almost none at the age of 35.
That said, my children are middle age, as are my neighbors who work so hard to reach out to me with invitations to holiday activities and reaching out in general... "Stop by anytime, we'll watch your dog if you want to go somewhere..." all the good neighbor stuff from, well, good neighbors. Expanding of outreach from friends, a high school, navy, long time buddy flew from Denver to be with me when my wife died, and a fishing buddy in Oregon said: "Come stay with us for a month, we can do some fishing, drink good whiskey, brew some beer and have great food..." Now is that reaching out? Not from family, just people who care. Maybe I'm nicer to people I meet than to relatives... don't know, but there's some information here I'm still confused about... not so confused as disappointed, but I am in a state that gets disappointed easily. Working it out somewhat here, thanks for the help.
Wonder when/if one gets past deep bereavement.
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It's once again raining here and looking for cold to be heading our way in a day or so. My girlfriend and I are going to Charlotte next Sunday to volunteer for Feral cats by wrapping peoples gifts and the money they pay will go towards feeding the feral cats including my area. I will have to miss church but I think God will understand! 
