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Further why would she get along better with people from the mainland over locals? People are people right? Maybe because in some ways socially hawaii is different then the mainland. So maybe a change of thinking is due. Am i wrong?
What makes the fact that you get along better with one area over another a bad thing?
She is doing nothing wrong, has a strong network of friends.
The fact is, I've heard over and over, that African Americans have a hard time dating here. Which is what she is saying.
AA's are a huge minority here, it's no secret.
She sounds like a totally cool chick, who has taken time to get to know the area where she has moved.
What? Are you saying if she learned hula she would get a date?!
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Unless the meet-up is "Hetro, Stationary, Intelligent Men Over 30 Who Are Interesting in Dating Enyo", it is a waste of time. I have a strong social/activity circle of women and gay men who share my interests already. I am missing that special someone, but I'm not lonely. I thought about attending an Oahu singles meet-up, but Hawaii has given me NO reason to believe the average single man is would be interested in me. So I pretty much do the online thing for how.
I actually do a lot of cultural events and festivals and know a a nice amount of Hawaiian culture. I'd been studying it for years before I actually moved here. In fact, the culture and history is part of the reason I moved. Going to culture events, even when I go alone, have not even produced a single "Howzit" from a local man.
What is "fitting in"? Being mistaken for a local? That's never going to happen, and honestly, I'm proud of being an African-American woman from Maryland. No need to try and fake like I'm from here. I get along better with people who are from the mainland anyway. I find locals who don't know me tend to treat me like I'm a clueless tourist and then get all shocked when the find out I live and work here. I'm malihini, not a moron.
I can relate. As an Asian male, I do not feel as comfortable in places with very few Asians and I would likely not have as good dating options in such a place. In much of the country, there is an impression that Asians are perpetual foreigners and Asian men are seen as being unattractive.
Similarly, there is an impression in Hawaii that African-Americans are tourists or in the military. If I were an African-American woman interested in dating, I would probably prefer Maryland over Hawaii too.
What makes the fact that you get along better with one area over another a bad thing?
She is doing nothing wrong, has a strong network of friends.
The fact is, I've heard over and over, that African Americans have a hard time dating here. Which is what she is saying.
AA's are a huge minority here, it's no secret.
She sounds like a totally cool chick, who has taken time to get to know the area where she has moved.
What? Are you saying if she learned hula she would get a date?!
Your choice to get along or hangout with whomever you want that is not good or bad. Her issue is she can't get a date with locals and to me when she says i don't even get a "howzit" at a event or locals treat me like im a dumb tourist. That says shes not being noticed or known, with the exception of honolulu, what do you think is the best thing to do to get noticed? (think like a normal local?) Hmm maybe get involved in the community? or church or even culture activities.
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I can understand that being on the bottom of the minority pole can be very difficult when dating, but you don't want to date anyone who won't date you because your A.A. With the exception of asians in hawaii we are all minorities. Im native american for christ sakes! See any in Hawai'i? I know some polynesian that look A.A How do they find dates? Like i said i believe its an issue of changing your approach on your thinking and meeting more ppl so they can see what a wonderful person you are.
Hey who are you? Can i speak to Mikala43 please. I have no ideal where your comming from? I know your local Mikala43. When did i say otherwise? Huh wheres the stink comming from?
I can understand that being on the bottom of the minority pole can be very difficult when dating, but you don't want to date anyone who won't date you because your A.A. With the exception of asians in hawaii we are all minorities. Im native american for christ sakes! See any in Hawai'i? I know some polynesian that look A.A How do they find dates? Like i said i believe its an issue of changing your approach on your thinking and meeting more ppl so they can see what a wonderful person you are.
Ironically my current husband is about 20% Cherokee. Technically I'm Mexican/Swedish/English, so I'm the biggest minority. But I'm "tan" so I blend in. AA's have a hard time dating. I don't think it has anything to do with attitude in general, the OP seems like she is cool.
Telling her to get more in tune with local culture is NOT going to change that fact. It just isn't. IIRC she isn't interested in military due to them leaving, which removes a lot of people with more interaction with AA's.
New and different is always a problem with cultures inter-mingling. Would I change that if I could? Of course. But someone took my magic wand and I'm all out of fairy dust.
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Moderator: Relationships Forum / Hawaii Forum / Dogs / Pets / Current Events
Ironically my current husband is about 20% Cherokee. Technically I'm Mexican/Swedish/English, so I'm the biggest minority. But I'm "tan" so I blend in. AA's have a hard time dating. I don't think it has anything to do with attitude in general, the OP seems like she is cool.
Telling her to get more in tune with local culture is NOT going to change that fact. It just isn't. IIRC she isn't interested in military due to them leaving, which removes a lot of people with more interaction with AA's.
New and different is always a problem with cultures inter-mingling. Would I change that if I could? Of course. But someone took my magic wand and I'm all out of fairy dust.
But i also believe what your forgetting in the U.S what state is more diverse then Hawai'i? You have hapa this, hapa that. Dogs sleeping with cats! lol. The point is you got to find the Hawai'ian, white, or asian whatever guy that digs your grove. Believe me they are out there, otherwise there would be no
Location: not sure, but there's a hell of a lot of water around here!
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If I were a trans-gender, homosexual, semi-lesbian, Afro-Asian-Hispanic-Native-Caucasian-American midget with a slight speech impediment and an intolerance towards SPAM, would my dating chances in Hawaii be diminished if I ruled out Cannibals altogether?
But I'm Local..
(except for the Haole 100% part)
Just askin
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lol. The point is you got to find the Hawai'ian, white, or asian whatever guy that digs your grove
. Believe me they are out there, otherwise there would be no
