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Did you put her down as a reference without reaching out to her first? I mean, I always call/email references to ask them if it is ok to give their contact info out (and confirming it), tell them about the job I'm interviewing for, etc. I thought that was standard when dealing with references.
It is common sense and I am amazed at the number of people who do not call to warn references that they will be getting a call. I know if I had someone call me out of the blue and I had not spoken to them in a while, I would refuse to give a reference as well. If you are going to give out my phone number, please have the courtesy to take the time to use it yourself and call me prior to giving it to random people, inviting them to call me.
It is common sense and I am amazed at the number of people who do not call to warn references that they will be getting a call. I know if I had someone call me out of the blue and I had not spoken to them in a while, I would refuse to give a reference as well. If you are going to give out my phone number, please have the courtesy to take the time to use it yourself and call me prior to giving it to random people, inviting them to call me.
Absolutely.
OP needs to drop this and not bother this woman any more.
It's a pet peeve of mine when folks that I haven't worked with (or even spoken with) in 10 years all of a sudden expect me to provide a relevant personal reference with zero notice (I know that doesn't fit this situation but just saying). In those cases, the reference I provide may not be favorable. Heck, I might even be inclined to forget completely about that person.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stygmata
It's a pet peeve of mine when folks that I haven't worked with (or even spoken with) in 10 years all of a sudden expect me to provide a relevant personal reference with zero notice (I know that doesn't fit this situation but just saying). In those cases, the reference I provide may not be favorable. Heck, I might even be inclined to forget completely about that person.
Indeed. It is one of many reasons (beyond networking) to keep in touch with and keep cultivating relationships with the people you work had worked with.
Update: she called me this morning after getting my email. She said it helped her remember me, that she had been really busy lately at work, and that I had indeed been a great employee and that she's happy to give me a positive reference. So at least it ended well!!! Thanks, guys!!!
Why not ask her to please send you a reference letter via email so you can have it just in case?
Exactly. Don't make the same mistake again. Get a letter of recommendation now if you can.
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