Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
It is common sense and I am amazed at the number of people who do not call to warn references that they will be getting a call. I know if I had someone call me out of the blue and I had not spoken to them in a while, I would refuse to give a reference as well. If you are going to give out my phone number, please have the courtesy to take the time to use it yourself and call me prior to giving it to random people, inviting them to call me.
She had already given me that consent, which did not have an expiration date. It's only been 5 years. Most employers want ten years' worth of employment history/references. Completely reasonable.
Did you not call her first to chat and make sure it was okay to use her as a reference? I know you say you've done so over the years, but whenever I'm applying for jobs, I always make sure to check in "fresh" with anyone I'm planning to list as a reference. You never know what might be going on and you don't want to list someone who could give you a bad reference. Plus, that ensures I am fresh in their mind if/when someone calls, not, "Oh yeah, kitkatbar, haven't seen or heard from her in years... I think I remember her... maybe..."
Did you not call her first to chat and make sure it was okay to use her as a reference? I know you say you've done so over the years, but whenever I'm applying for jobs, I always make sure to check in "fresh" with anyone I'm planning to list as a reference. You never know what might be going on and you don't want to list someone who could give you a bad reference. Plus, that ensures I am fresh in their mind if/when someone calls, not, "Oh yeah, kitkatbar, haven't seen or heard from her in years... I think I remember her... maybe..."
See what I mean?
I've actually never had to do that before with any of my references, but apparently I will have to start checking in every once in a while. This one was my least recent reference. I just still think it's weird after 5 years you wouldn't remember someone who lived in your house for 8 months, worked with your kid, drove you to and from work, advised you on what outfit to wear on Saturday nights, met your relatives, laundered your undies, advised you what color to paint the new powder room bathroom, etc. lol but Sally is an odd bird to be sure. Will take that into account in the future.
Also, it's part of the social contract to give a reference for a competent former employee. If an employer has a problem with that or considers it a "bother", she doesn't deserve to have employees...
Dispense with the "roll-eyes" - you happened to luck out but the advice given to you was relevant. Before giving a former employer as a reference, it's part of what you call the "social contract" to contact that person (particularly when the association is past history) and ask them if it's OK to provide their name and contact information.
It is common sense and I am amazed at the number of people who do not call to warn references that they will be getting a call. I know if I had someone call me out of the blue and I had not spoken to them in a while, I would refuse to give a reference as well. If you are going to give out my phone number, please have the courtesy to take the time to use it yourself and call me prior to giving it to random people, inviting them to call me.
I don't get this either, and it is a frequent issue on this forum and especially with younger people.
It is called COMMUNICATION, when you put someone down as a reference you ask if it is OK, than you give them a heads up that a phone call is coming their way.
Dispense with the "roll-eyes" - you happened to luck out but the advice given to you was relevant. Before giving a former employer as a reference, it's part of what you call the "social contract" to contact that person (particularly when the association is past history) and ask them if it's OK to provide their name and contact information.
A job reference from 5 years ago is not "past history". Generally employers want to know ten years' worth of past employment history and 3 professional references from that employment. I will continue to take the position that it is bizarre not to remember someone who lived in your house and worked with your family for 8 months 5 years ago. Unless you're ten years old, 5 years ago was not exactly ancient history lol
A job reference from 5 years ago is not "past history".
It certainly is when the employment stint lasted only a few months. But carry on regardless as obviously the voices of experience which have been nice enough to come together to educate you on matters of employment and references are no contest for your own wealth of knowledge. Good luck in your new job.
I think I'll be sending Christmas cards out this year. I usually don't, but it might be a good idea ;-)
I moved and left a job 6 years ago, and have sent Christmas cards to my former supervisor most years since then. She had no problem writing a letter of recommendation and being a reference, and I felt fine asking her because I'd attempted to keep in touch.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
