How many months pregnant would it be acceptable to ask for a seat on the commuter rail? (Boston: appointed, gated)

[babsy2013]

Pregnant or not if you feel like you have to sit then you should ask anyway.
If they just reply 'well no i was here first" you shouldn't feel bad, they should be embarrassed.
I don't remember asking when I was pregnant (I was fine most of the time) but I remember one day when I was 20 when I felt like I was fainting on the bus, I asked the place saying I was sick and I got it.
For the record I always leave the seat for pregnant women (or old people ).

[CSD610]

So someone who is pregnant is entitled to a seat on public transportation?
I never asked for nor expected special consideration for anything when I was pregnant.
It was my choice to be pregnant and that choice encompasses everything that goes along with carrying a child like it or not.

[kingeorge]

Thin veneer of civility is surprisingly thin on any MBTA mode of transport. Drivers are rude, people commuting often even more. I do not think that most women would ask for a seat, although I do think they should. I often watch how people act around others on the bus or T, and get worried for our future, corny as it sounds. There is very little compassion in the way we treat each other.

We were visiting Germany, Switzerland, and Austria some time ago, and we have noticed that any bus or trolley driver would always get up from their seat to help old people, people with strollers, disabled person, to get on safely, and to our great surprise (and delight). I do not know if this is in their contract of employment or they are just nice people, but they would get up and help. It was not beneath them. It so much more civilized there. There are also front and middle areas for strollers to be safely parked and stowed away (why we have no such things in our "family oriented culture" I wonder), buses and trains run more often so no crazy crowds, and most people were very polite. Seemed lot more stress-free in general.

There are still many polite people, but it gets rarer to encounter kindness these days. Better to get up for anyone older, pregnant, or with little kids, and err on the side of caution then be jerk, male or female IMHO.

[SpringMom3]

Originally Posted by Parsec

I see 2 obese women on a regular basis (related to my kids schools) who were recently pregnant and I couldn't tell either time. One time I didn't find out until my daughter told me (she has playdates with this woman's daughter) and the other time I didn't find out until she came to school holding a baby! I don't think most people can really tell with women who are say, over 250 lbs.

exactly. im saying its easy to tell obese vs pregnant unless you are obese AND pregnant then not so easy.

[Cape Cod Todd]

I used to do a short commute on a bus and for the most part people were kind. If someone came on that was elderly, with kids, walked with a cane, crutches.. pregnant or in some cases simply female seats would be offered. I usually sat toward the back and it was interesting to watch the interactions of the seat being offered. The age of the person male or female offering the seat tended to be 30+ which left me concerned for the future but some kids did step up but not many.
In this PC world we live in Chivalry is pretty much dead. I still like opening doors for women and offering up a seat but I know women that would be upset if they were offered a seat. Things would circulate in their minds like "do you think I'm old?" "Do I look like I need a seat?" I wouldn't want to be on the other end of that while trying to be nice to someone. Maybe that is part of the reason why more people don't bother with people so they don't get hassled?

[SpringMom3]

Originally Posted by CSD610

So someone who is pregnant is entitled to a seat on public transportation?
I never asked for nor expected special consideration for anything when I was pregnant.
It was my choice to be pregnant and that choice encompasses everything that goes along with carrying a child like it or not.

well luckily we live in a society where most people i think would be pretty understanding of a woman that is pregnant that feels sick/cant stand for a long period of time asking a group of passengers politely for a seat. hopefully though she doesn't ask you. i too never asked for a seat while pregnant but i would gladly offer my seat to a woman who is that feels sick/tired enough to ask (pregnant or not.) that's just what you do for someone that doesn't feel 100%.

[495neighbor]

Originally Posted by Cape Cod Todd

I used to do a short commute on a bus and for the most part people were kind. If someone came on that was elderly, with kids, walked with a cane, crutches.. pregnant or in some cases simply female seats would be offered. I usually sat toward the back and it was interesting to watch the interactions of the seat being offered. The age of the person male or female offering the seat tended to be 30+ which left me concerned for the future but some kids did step up but not many.
In this PC world we live in Chivalry is pretty much dead. I still like opening doors for women and offering up a seat but I know women that would be upset if they were offered a seat. Things would circulate in their minds like "do you think I'm old?" "Do I look like I need a seat?" I wouldn't want to be on the other end of that while trying to be nice to someone. Maybe that is part of the reason why more people don't bother with people so they don't get hassled?

True, damned if you do or don't. Todd, I would be happy to take the seat if offered.

[495neighbor]

Originally Posted by kingeorge

I often watch how people act around others on the bus or T, and get worried for our future, corny as it sounds. There is very little compassion in the way we treat each other.

Yes, it is scary. At my suburban train stop people herd, push and shove. The people in the back of the herd crowd the ones in the front who got there earlier close to the edge of the tracks. So upset they wont get the seat of their choice. I fear someday there is going to be an accident, where someone was pushed onto the tracks. Even when I get there early, I let them all go ahead of me.

[Beachcomber4]

IMHO if someone asks for a seat, regardless of their outward physical appearance I think a person who feels they are capable, won't be harmed by standing and/or they won't act the martyr or make everyone else feel like they have just given away a kidney, and/or go on about conditions that people inflict on themselves should not warrant them special treatment should relinquish their seat.

That having been said,pregnant women and elderly riders or people with small children should not have to ask. And if one of my teenagers didn't offer it up I would kick their arse. Common courtesy should be more commonplace.

[CaseyB]

Originally Posted by Beachcomber4

And if one of my teenagers didn't offer it up I would kick their arse. Common courtesy should be more commonplace.

It all goes back to parenting. It is just bad manners not to offer a seat to an obviously pregnant woman or someone who is elderly.