How many months pregnant would it be acceptable to ask for a seat on the commuter rail? (Boston: college, live in)

[SpringMom3]

Originally Posted by miu

I agree. Late pregnancy women should NOT be travelling alone on the T, especially at peak ride times. They should be in the company of family or friends.

Otherwise, early in the pregnancy, a pregnant woman should be fine standing on a bus or a train. It helps to wear practical non-slip footwear when out an about doing errands and such during the pregnancy. For a normal pregnancy, a woman should be using her muscles and keeping herself physically fit. If she is sitting around all day, then she's going to lose important muscle mass. Then when the baby comes, she's not going to be strong enough to attend to it in regards to lifting and carrying the infant.

Like i said earlier in this thread- the absolute worst time that i needed a seat was extremely early in pregnancy before i was showing. i was able to work out still and had personal trainer at the time so i assure you, my shape was not the reason for feeling sick while pregnant.

i am also not sure that keeping yourself physically fit by standing on the train is the best way to go about it.

and as far as late pregnancy, I am sure most women dont really get a choice whether or not to commute into work, but thats a topic for a different discussion.

[miu]

Originally Posted by Cantabridgienne

This is hysterical. Pregnant women require escorts and shouldn't sit down on the train, lest she not be able to life her baby? Is that what you tell yourself when you don't offer a visibly pregnant woman a seat on the T?

No. LATE TERM pregnant women should ride with family or friends. What if she suddenly goes into labour?

Otherwise, most pregnant women aren't delicate fragile flowers and they shouldn't be treated as such. They don't qualify for handicapped status. And their unborn child is riding around in safe cushion of amniotic fluid. And I am speaking from the standpoint of a 55 year old woman who at work keeps up with the 20 years just fine.

Priorities for getting a seat imo would be for the physically handicapped or elderly. And people with stollers, babies and children should try very very hard to avoid using the T during peak commuter hours. It's not rocket science people, just good commonsense to know when the best time to ride the T anywhere in the world. And... what do you really expect for such a cheaply priced riding service? If you have mobility issues and have to have a seat, then nicely ASK the passengers around you. If you are unwilling to speak up, you get what you get. Or just take a taxi or use a Zipcar instead. And if you are too poor for that, then reconsider having all those children.

[Cantabridgienne]

You don't offer a seat to a pregnant woman. We get it.

But it's still VERY funny that you think late term pregnant women shouldn't ever be without an escort. If she goes into labor, it's very possible that someone else on the train (NOT you, we get that) could call an ambulance as easily as this woman's friend could. Not everyone thinks the way you do, fortunately. In 10 years, when you are a senior citizen, will you never be out and about by yourself?

That's a totally realistic option for anyone who has a job and all, almost as much as someone either making a choice of taking a cab throughout gestation or not having children.

[Cantabridgienne]

Also, the MBTA includes pregnant women as those who should have priority for the disabled seating.


MBTA > Riding the T > Accessible Services

[Parsec]

Originally Posted by Cantabridgienne

Also, the MBTA includes pregnant women as those who should have priority for the disabled seating.


MBTA > Riding the T > Accessible Services

In certain states (I've seen this in the South) pregnant women can also apply for a handicap tag for their car.

[DONNIEANDDONNA417]

just because you are pregnant doesn't mean you are handicap

[Cantabridgienne]

It doesn't. But the MBTA and decent people everywhere think a pregnant person deserves a seat on the train if she feels she needs one.

[miu]

Originally Posted by Cantabridgienne

It doesn't. But the MBTA and decent people everywhere think a pregnant person deserves a seat on the train if she feels she needs one.

Right. So all she needs to do is ASK someone for their seat... otherwise, if she doesn't open her mouth, she shouldn't be surprised if nobody is automatically offering her their seat. We aren't mindreaders, and the thing is, everybody appreciates having a seat on the T. In the morning, it could be fitter people still sleepy from just waking up or at the end of the day, most people are tired from their long work day. EVERYONE appreciates a seat. And right now, everyone is all bundled up because of the cold, and that further disguises a person's true physical condition, fit or being impaired.

So handicapped and pregnant women just have to speak up, we aren't mindreaders. And again, in a big city, most people keep their gaze to themselves and are not closely scrutinizing everyone around them. Staring is impolite and an aggressive demeanor. And most people don't want to be closely scrutinized and evaluated by complete and total strangers.

[Beachcomber4]

Originally Posted by jayrandom

I'm sure opinion will vary, but far along would it no longer be considered rude for a obviously pregnant woman to ask someone to give up their seat on the commuter rail? I suspect most men ages 25-45 would gladly give up their seat and even feel a bit guilty for not doing so spontaneously; my wife suspects she would get angry stares and a lot of "no, I was here" even into her ninth month. Any thoughts?

Jayrandom, first, kudos to you for being such a wonderful husband to ask such an incendiary question out of caring and compassion for your wife and unborn child. I was surprised by the question but based on some answers, I now understand why you asked it.

Wishing you and your family health and happiness and that your wife encounters people on the T who are compassionate. To get back on track and answer the original question, tell her to ask. The worst thing that can happen is she will get lectured or maybe someone will stand up to show her how to brace herself and stand properly and she can snag their seat.

[charolastra00]

Originally Posted by miu

No. LATE TERM pregnant women should ride with family or friends. What if she suddenly goes into labour?

Otherwise, most pregnant women aren't delicate fragile flowers and they shouldn't be treated as such. They don't qualify for handicapped status. And their unborn child is riding around in safe cushion of amniotic fluid. And I am speaking from the standpoint of a 55 year old woman who at work keeps up with the 20 years just fine.

Priorities for getting a seat imo would be for the physically handicapped or elderly. And people with stollers, babies and children should try very very hard to avoid using the T during peak commuter hours. It's not rocket science people, just good commonsense to know when the best time to ride the T anywhere in the world. And... what do you really expect for such a cheaply priced riding service? If you have mobility issues and have to have a seat, then nicely ASK the passengers around you. If you are unwilling to speak up, you get what you get. Or just take a taxi or use a Zipcar instead. And if you are too poor for that, then reconsider having all those children.

If she suddenly goes into labor, then what is a friend or family member going to do any differently than someone else on the train unless they are an OB themselves? Face it, women get at most 3 months of FMLA to take off for birth and bonding with their infant immediately after it's born. Most women need to work until they actually go into labor. Someone taking a commuter rail into Boston is unlikely to be able to afford a taxi for a commute (because not being able to afford $50-$100+ each way for a few weeks has nothing to do with being able to afford children) and, if she has a car, sitting in 128 traffic when going into labor isn't exactly a picnic either.


To the OP - sometimes people are salty when asked to move. When I was going through cancer and for about 6 months after, I didn't have the strength to stand on the T, and certainly not a bus or the length of a commuter rail. If the bus turned and I was standing, I'd be on the floor because I couldn't grip the bar unless I did a full body hug. And since I DARED get sick when I was too poor to take a taxi everywhere, I occasionally had to ask people to let me sit. Because I looked like a normal, healthy early 20s girl (my hair only thinned despite 6 months of chemo so it was cut short - but not bald), people would often ignore me or say rude things to me. That's the risk you face of asking before your wife is showing. People tend to respond very well to those who on one glance you can tell are physically handicapped or challenged, pregnant, or elderly. Hidden disabilities or early pregnancy, not so much.