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Artsy
Like I've told you 101x there is a big difference in BPD and NPD and just being an ahole. I hope you never fall prey to someone suffering from these disorders (no offense las vegas).
This is something that is not automatically obvious. These people are not necessarily mean or rude or unethical. It is the very vagueness and subtleness that makes it so difficult to recognize and deal with. It is very frustrating and confusing at the least to be in this kind of relationship. It is like jeckyll and hyde. Similar to having the person you love and trust one minute telling you how much they love you then beating the crap out of you the next only in an emotional and psychological way.
Now I cant find the post of the parson who said habitual lying wasnt one of the symptoms, but I was getting that from JustJulia and it thought someone else mentioned lying as well.
I still think a concrete list of symtoms (that doesn't include silly things like boredom) would be helpful to this thread. I really dont think I have it, but I guess you cant trust the opinion of a crazy person, especially about themselves
This was when I was 16-17 and really frustrated about the way my "therapy" was going so that might have had something to do with it. The first therapist was very cold, saw me once and prescribed pills which I refused. She then concluded I was unhelpable because I didn't want to help myself. The 2nd was very nice and a really good person but believed that my anger would be healed by Jesus. (I know some may agree, but not me, sorry) and the 3rd kind of tried but didnt understand really anything about me or anything other than squeaky clean suburban lifestyles so...
The one I have now, which is actually more for my husband than me, is great. He should have gone sooner but my experiences made me cynical and I regret that. We got really lucky and I'm really grateful for that. He listens, took the time to get to know us, and gives really good advice that I couldn't think of myself. And he is UNDERSTANDING and acts like a human. Amazing, didn't know it was possible for a therapist!
I just told you I had a roommate like that. Don't you know how to read my posts thoroughly? Where is your compassion for me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2mares
Artsy
Like I've told you 101x there is a big difference in BPD and NPD and just being an ahole. I hope you never fall prey to someone suffering from these disorders (no offense las vegas).
This is something that is not automatically obvious. These people are not necessarily mean or rude or unethical. It is the very vagueness and subtleness that makes it so difficult to recognize and deal with. It is very frustrating and confusing at the least to be in this kind of relationship. It is like jeckyll and hyde. Similar to having the person you love and trust one minute telling you how much they love you then beating the crap out of you the next only in an emotional and psychological way.
And a lot of these BPD type people are found in the education system. These women can get away with almost anything. If you slip up and say one ugly thing about catty women. Mountains will be made out of that molehill. And all hell will break loose.
So only women have this disorder? Interesting. Learn something new everyday.
Now I cant find the post of the parson who said habitual lying wasnt one of the symptoms, but I was getting that from JustJulia and it thought someone else mentioned lying as well.
I still think a concrete list of symtoms (that doesn't include silly things like boredom) would be helpful to this thread. I really dont think I have it, but I guess you cant trust the opinion of a crazy person, especially about themselves
This was when I was 16-17 and really frustrated about the way my "therapy" was going so that might have had something to do with it. The first therapist was very cold, saw me once and prescribed pills which I refused. She then concluded I was unhelpable because I didn't want to help myself. The 2nd was very nice and a really good person but believed that my anger would be healed by Jesus. (I know some may agree, but not me, sorry) and the 3rd kind of tried but didnt understand really anything about me or anything other than squeaky clean suburban lifestyles so...
The one I have now, which is actually more for my husband than me, is great. He should have gone sooner but my experiences made me cynical and I regret that. We got really lucky and I'm really grateful for that. He listens, took the time to get to know us, and gives really good advice that I couldn't think of myself. And he is UNDERSTANDING and acts like a human. Amazing, didn't know it was possible for a therapist!
A pervasive pattern of instability of interpersonal relationships, self-image, and affects, and marked impulsivity beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:
1. frantic efforts to avoid realor imagined abandonment. Note: Do not include suicidal or self-mutilating behavior covered in Criterion 5.
2. a pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation.
3. identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self.
4. impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g., spending, sex, substance abuse,reckless driving, binge eating). Note: Do not include suicidal or self-mutilating behavior covered in Criterion 5.
5. recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behavior
6. affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (e.g., intense episodic dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days).
7. chronic feelings of emptiness
8. inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights)
9. transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms
This is something that is not automatically obvious. These people are not necessarily mean or rude or unethical. It is the very vagueness and subtleness that makes it so difficult to recognize and deal with. It is very frustrating and confusing at the least to be in this kind of relationship. It is like jeckyll and hyde. Similar to having the person you love and trust one minute telling you how much they love you then beating the crap out of you the next only in an emotional and psychological way.
This is so true: I'm convinced that my mother fits the entire profile for narcissistic PD, which is related and often has crossover symptoms. It has always been subtle with her, but from a very early age I knew something was wrong. No physical abuse, but lots of "punishment" for not conforming to her wishes, which were often not reasonable. The hardest thing about it was that everyone thought I was the problem child who was giving such problems to my "lovely woman" of a mother and it wasn't really until the last few years as she began showing signs of Alzheimer's also, that other people began to see it, b/c the Alz strips away the covering parts of your personality and what's left is often the real you--her greed is amazing now that we're seeing the full force of it.
Honestly though, learning about these things has helped me a lot--I've gone from extreme anger with my mother for not loving me like mothers should love their children, to understanding that she was never capable of it in the first place and that's a good thing, b/c she's going to need a lot of care in the next years.
An example of her behavior: she has insinuated that I'm a loser on numerous occasions, despite the fact that I have a college degree and 2 wonderful and smart teenage girls--she absolutely places no value on motherhood and the college degree wasn't the one she thought I should get. She used a lot of guilt and martyrdom to conform people to her wishes and I never played along.
From Wiki: Narcissistic parents demand certain behavior from their children because they see the children as extensions of themselves, and need the children to represent them in the world in ways that meet the parents’ emotional needs. (For example, a narcissistic father who was a lawyer demanded that his son, who had always been treated as the "favorite" in the family, enter the legal profession as well. When the son chose another career, the father rejected and disparaged him.)
These traits will lead overly narcissistic parents to be very intrusive in some ways, and entirely neglectful in others. The children are punished if they do not respond adequately to the parents’ needs. This punishment may take a variety of forms, including physical abuse, angry outbursts, blame, attempts to instill guilt, emotional neglect, and criticism. Whatever form it takes, the purpose of the punishment is to enforce compliance with the parents' narcissistic needs.
lol why are you degrading yourself with this psycho-babble nonsense? Don't you know that people can use that diagnosis to incarcerate you or have you blacklisted from a career? If people at work find out. You will be the butt of every joke or the scapegoat.
You are a normal human being. Everything that you just listed except for suicide is something that can be solved with problem solving. Every one goes through that. You don't need a therapist or medication. Just deal with it like an adult. Problem solve. Start exercising and focusing on improving who you are. Watch more comedies. That will take your mind off ugly topics like suicide.
Quote:
Originally Posted by las vegas drunk
No, I am a man and have it. I think it is mostly a woman disorder however.
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