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Old 03-21-2011, 11:43 PM
 
112 posts, read 326,128 times
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SO you go to work everyday, make small talk with your colleagues, who mostly complain about work related stuff. Then you go home and say hi, how are you to the various neighbors who live in your building, who mostly can't wait to get in their apartment. Finally you make your way inside your own "home" and continue to have dinner, watch TV, surf the net, walk the dog, listen to the wife/husband, before going to bed only to wake up the next day and repeat everything.

You're not originally from NYC, so all the buddies you had back in school/college are a million miles away. You realize you have been living here for ___ years, and have no real friends, just a bunch of acquaintances whose phone numbers you've never even exchanged.

What do you do to make friends? How does one break the cycle of loneliness?
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Old 03-22-2011, 02:30 AM
 
1 posts, read 11,942 times
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Talking living in NYC

Honestly, as a nyc longtime resident I almost wanna say move-out of nyc because people here suck and are always in a rush to go nowhere. When I lived in FL, TX and TN you could make a friend a day in the local supermarket or even at a gas station if you made a med effort. People are too skeptical here and live in too much fear so it's hard unless you're into the bar scene or cafe scene.

Your best bet here is to start numerous online accts with sites like Myspace, Facebook and definitely myYearbook.com. Now you have to be careful of all the scammers out there but their fake profiles can be seen a mile away by a keen eye. myYearbook.com has all these cool games you can play with total strangers and I gotta say you can easily make 20 friends in a day and out of those make 1-2 real friends you can chat with daily. You will also be given a choice of how far you wanna search for people from your location and just pick something like 20 miles, so that when you make those friends you can actually hang out in the city and stuff. There is always church groups I imagine as well that you could join here. Best of luck!
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Old 03-22-2011, 07:21 AM
 
Location: Bronx
16,217 posts, read 21,279,328 times
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Try places of intrest like your favorite trendy hangout. I made a few friends to hangout with by working out at a near by gym club. Find people with simulat taste as yours. Its not hard and also its not easy.
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Old 03-22-2011, 09:32 AM
 
Location: New York NY
5,014 posts, read 7,576,310 times
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Making friends? Similar interests are the key. Look at what you like to do in your spare time and then look for places to do it and you'll make friends with those people. If you like riding bikes join a cycling group. Reading books? Join a book club. Thinking deep thoughts? Audit a college course. Social activism? Volunteer with a group whose goals you want to advance. Pray? Join a young adults group at a church. And so on. The more you put yourself out there, they more likley it is that you'll find your peeps.

Nobody is gonna discover what a great person you are if you just come home from work and flip on the TV or go on Facebook with the guys you knew ten years ago.
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Old 03-22-2011, 10:12 AM
 
Location: No Sleep Til Brooklyn
1,410 posts, read 5,034,320 times
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Agree, you need to find like-minded folks. For example, one woman and I were always together in the back of the pack of a Central Park training class and we've been friends ever since. I belong to a neighborhood writing group and have made friends there.

The hardest part is letting people know that you would like to hang out outside of whatever group you meet in. You have to risk the rejection.
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Old 03-22-2011, 12:46 PM
 
Location: Staten Island, New York
3,718 posts, read 6,598,116 times
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Yes, finding similar interests is key. I've actually found two of my dearest friends from work and one from college, (went as an adult). Take a class in something that interests you. Once you start chatting with a person or two, you can open with a "have you ever been to the such-and-such museum' or things like that. Good luck!
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Old 03-22-2011, 01:05 PM
 
Location: Jersey City, NJ
349 posts, read 727,074 times
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Agree with similar interests. I've been here a little over a year and have made a few friends who I hang out with outside of work.
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Old 03-22-2011, 02:25 PM
 
13,255 posts, read 12,341,676 times
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You couldtake some classes. You could join an informal club, like a book club. You could sign up for some Meetup groups. You could volunteer. And you could give a dinner party with both of you inviting some work colleagues.
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Old 03-22-2011, 03:18 PM
 
99 posts, read 332,401 times
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I agree with Cida; join Meetup.com. You put in your city and then search for groups according to your interests. I am a nanny and have met many friends through a NYC nanny group. They have meet ups for literally everything. The first few times may be awkward but you soon get to know people. I also met one girl on this website who was moving from London like me, by answering some of her questions. We met up, she introduced me to some people she knew and worked with, and now we are a big group of friends who get together often.
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Old 03-22-2011, 04:31 PM
 
Location: New York City
4,036 posts, read 9,705,229 times
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New York is full of ambitious people who tend to self-select (segregate?) based on things like interests and education. I think it’s because the city is not as family-based as elsewhere. People in the suburbs can always talk about their kids (a common denominator regardless of background). New Yorkers, even if they have kids, don’t do that as much.

As others have said, it’s useful to join a group, club or organization.
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